Bourbon Boys Pick The SEC Week II

Cuzzin’ Bailey

So it wasn’t a horrible week for Cuz Bailey, picks-wise. But my softball team lost and the first Devil Rays game I have been to in like 2 weeks was of course the one that they lost to the jackass Orioles. Almost got into it with an O’s fan … pretty standard. (Although I have given up trying to get in fights for lent). Regardless, I’m in second with a sub-500 record right now … but its only the second week so anything can happen. Oh yea, I’m going to the Gator game this weekend, so that’s pretty badass. Finally I can go to home games again and not have worry if anyone is “having a good time” etc. College girls beware …

El Gran Mono

Wow, I was like the polar opposite of Matthew McConaughey Brandon Lang last week. I promise to get better this week. Not that it matters unless you are in Vegas thanks to feds (bastards). I was really surprised at how many young players I had not heard of while watching the plethora of SEC games last Saturday. Many of these players were on defense and that is likely a bad thing except for maybe Georgia who looks to have some studs. UF is featuring some serious greenhorns all around and I’m already nervous about Erik Ainge shredding them. Cal just hammered the Vols who look to have no run defense whatsoever. This week features at least a couple decent games and NO D-IAA teams. Its actually called the Playoff Championship Subdivision or some horseshit like that but who really cares.

Malt Licker

Wow, what an opening weekend. Perhaps Appy State should have been the team chosen to play UF in the BCS Title game last year. Tebow proved to the Gator Nation and the rest of the college football world that he might complete a few passes this year. In the SEC, Georgia represented well, Auburn so-so, and Tennessee not at all. This all sets the stage for an interesting week with a few inter-SEC matchups, the typical early September pu-pu platter, and one huge interconference showdown between LSU and Va Tech.

Saturday, September 8, 2007

Alabama @ Vanderbilt (+3.5), 12:30

CB

Holy shit … I’m not expert, but either Vandy isn’t a joke this year, or the gamblers aren’t convinced that Satan has infused the full power of his minions into the Tuscaloosaians. Oh wait, now that I recall, its gamblers’ jobs to make money from chumps, so by keeping the line low it might convince some jabrones to go Vandy’s way. Maybe I’m over thinking this, maybe they aren’t the shitheads they generally are…

Still unlocking the Ninth Gate 33

Still trying to unlock the Physics of the Kickoff 28

EGM

Bama looked pretty average last year and I really don’t see them being much different this season despite the addition of Saban. They lack a running game and John Parker Wilson has not proved himself yet. Vandy does have some playmakers in the form of Chris Nickson and Earl Bennett. Can the Tide stop them? I think not. In fact, I’m starting to believe these two players have been quarantined from the rest of the dork community and are actually getting full time on the practice field. The key to this game is whether Vandy can stop Bama’s offense.

Devil went down to Nashville 17

Chris Nickson for Heisman 21

ML

Last week, the Yellow Hammer pounded nails into the Catamounts coffin, wiping out Western Carolina by 46 points, while Vandy used Earl Bennett’s un-Commodore like skills to squash the Spiders. Big Earl had 223 yards last week. If Satan wants to improve upon last year’s miniscule margin of victory, he must keep Bennett in check. I see John Parker Wilson having a big day and Bama cruising, beginning talks in Tuscaloosa of a “revival.”

Could Satan be Bear-like? 31

Commodes 14

South Carolina @ Georgia (-5.5), 5:45

CB

Even though UGA has won this match-up ever since Superior became a Cock, at times USC has made it very nerve-wracking for the Dawgs. You know, I can’t for the life of me understand why South Carolina is happy that Blake Mitchell is coming back this week. Is he that remarkable? I suppose he has decent stats, but he just comes across as a total douchebag. ANYWAY, Stafford (Georgia’s QB) likes the feel of his offense and Mark Richt was uncharacteristically (yea right) complementary of his team. If there is one (more) guy I do not want to see with a National Championship, its Richt. If it ever happens all you would hear from him would be how they deserved so many more cause his teams were that good etc … I don’t know where I’m getting this. But unfortunately Jawga does have a decent team minus their starting RB for a few weeks. That could possibly change the outcome of this game, but if I were a gambling man (which I’m not, anymore), I would probably take UGA and the points, after all its, IN Athens.

Assholes, oh, I mean Cocks 17

Dawgs 31

EGM

Georgia legitimately defended the honor of the SEC last week. Their defense looked tough against a very good Ok State offense. Stafford also appears to have fully turned the corner; however, Ok State would not be a good gauge for that considering they play no defense whatsoever. The Cocks sucked it up last week against a shitbag opponent. I guess Blake Mitchell is that integral to their offense. I’m actually starting to think Spurrier can’t work with every QB on the planet. This will be a game of defense because the Cocks don’t have the horses to block the Dawgs and vice versa. Take the under and the Dawgs prevailing with better offensive talent.

No longer the master of UGA 7

Struttin’ the stretch pants in Athens 13

ML

Other than Tennessee, no team looked worse last week than Spur-Dogs Cocks. The Ol’ Ballcoach called his Cocks a “bunch of stiffs” after their performance against Lou-La last week. However, Blake “the drunk” Mitchell returns at QB, which should improve their offensive production. The Dawgs looked great against OSU at home, and everyone is very high on them, which makes the Malt Licker suspicious. I think this game sets up well for the Gamecocks, and they will shock those in attendance at Sanford Stadium.

Less stiff cocks 20

Humbled pooches 17

Missouri @ Ole Miss (+6), 6

CB

Ole Miss played pretty unremarkable on offense last week getting bailed out by their defense (and Memphis tossing four INTs). Its really no surprise that they are home dogs this week. I’m sure the only game they’ll actually come to play at will be against Florida in a few weeks, cause after all I’ll be there, and the SEC Gods tend to hate me on the road. Fuck, how do you unjinx yourself?

Mizzou 35

Who gives a shit? 14

EGM

Missouri almost lost to Zook last week. That’s the only reason I’m thinking about Ole Miss covering. Orgeron almost blew a huge lead to Ole Miss last week as well. Chase Daniel is the best player on the field and I’d like to think that +6 number won’t contain him. Will Orgeron last the season with this crapbox team? Why did they fire Cutcliffe? Things I think about in the night.

Mizzou is a cool word 31

Worse than Faulkner 21

ML

Wow, another Big 12 – SEC matchup. The Orgeron and his frightened underlings escaped the dark recesses of Memphrica with a narrow victory. Ben-Jarvus was held in check, Ben-Rushing for less than Ben80 yards. Chase Daniel, managed to escape the watchful cameras of MTV’s “The Hills” to hand the Zooker another heartbreaking loss. This game will come down to Ole Piss’ D v. Chase Daniel and the high-powered Tiger offense. Missouri was a slave state, so they won’t be intimidated by the Stars & Bars of Oxfuuuhhhd.

Refusing to Compromise 24

Refusing to win 20

Troy @ Florida (-26), 6

CB

Damn our insistence on playing actual opponents for our Non-conference schedule! Troy almost beat FSU last year, went to a bowl and beat up on Rice. This is a talented team that is in Division I and deserves our respect. Excuse me for a moment. “God, its me, Cuzzin Bailey, please don’t let what happened to Michigan happen to us. Thanks.”

Try our Horse, it’s the best in the State 17

Florida 56

EGM

Why are we playing this game? I’ve heard South Florida crapped out on us and litany of other excuses. There is a line and Troy is not D-IAA but I expect more in the years to come with 12^th game available. As for last week, Tebow and the offense look good but that was a slow team. The defense only gave up 3 points but the safeties look slow and the line was getting no push against the fucking Hilltoppers.

Troy Trojans, how creative! 14

Tebow spelled backwards is Wobet 38

ML

I am dubbing this matchup the “Kyle Jackson Bowl.” The much-maligned UF Free Safety was terrible last week, allowing a couple big completions in front of him against Western Kentucky. If he struggles again, I foresee him being relegated to special teams for the remainder of his career. Luckily, last week proved, as I mentioned above, that Tebow can throw. The thunderbolts unleashed by his left arm conger images of Zeus. In fact, I hear he is being strongly considered to play the God of Gods in the remake of “Clash of the Titans.”

Mortal Mediterranean Warriors 12

Immortal Mediterranean Gods 44

Kent State @ Kentucky (-13), 6

CB

The real bet here is whether or not the Malt Licker is gonna make a “National Guard shooting students” joke. Let me tell you right now, TAKE THE POINTS … it is a hands down, iron clad, aluminum siding, guaranteed lock.

Duck! 15

Just got our Student Season licenses 33

EGM

I always thought Kent State gave up the State like Memphis but I guess I was wrong. The Flashes are in deep shit trying to stop Andre Woodson and Co. I’m betting on KY’s defense keeping the score low enough for the cover. Taking KY to cover just seems strange.

Hippy protestors 17

Nat’l Guardsman 31

ML

There is nothing remotely compelling about this game. UK will throw for a bunch of yards and the Golden Flash will burn out quicker than those promising lives massacred on their campus 37 years ago.

National Guard U 4 dead + 9 wounded = 13

‘Tucky 33

Mississippi State @ Tulane (+6), 7

CB

How awful it must feel to be a Miss St fan. Wait, why am I acting like losing big isn’t something they would be used to by now. I wonder if they did shitty this year, they would still keep Croom around cause he’s the classiest guy within 150 miles of Starkvegas. It is not out of the realm of possibility that Tulane could “upset” this shitbox of a team, but I think I saw some of that “never say die” mentality last week when LSU was putting it in the endzone at will, and they just kept fighting and came out winners in their own right. Alright, enough sarcasm, Tulane must really suck to be homedogs to MSU.

Class isn’t just something you skip 34

Name change would be nice 17

EGM

Miss State looked absolutely terrible last week. If Henig plays more than a quarter of this game then they will lose. It sounds like some JUCO is gonna play so that gives me hope because Miss State’s defense is pretty good. Titus Brown is a fucking stud.

Starkvegas comin’ to The Big Easy 21

Green Wave, more like Brown Wave 10

ML

Good news for MSU, you are playing Tulane. Bad news, Sly Croom is your coach and Michael Henig is still quarterback. Good news, you are playing Tulane.

Henig can’t play worse 22

Have the waters receded? 10

Southern Miss @ Tennessee (-10.5), 7

CB

I have to believe that the line is this low because the Vols lost last week in embarrassing fashion. Had they won by even a point last week, this would be a 20 point spread. Ainge had a pretty impressive game last week even with a broken finger on his throwing hand, which made me very skeptical on the severity of the injury. Bottom line, I don’t trust Phil Fulmer as far as I can … yea you get it. Big win for the Big Orange.

Road Dogs 13

Smokey doesn’t like other dogs 40

EGM

Last week, the Vols defensive line got pushed around like a red headed stepchild. And by fucking Cal no less. Did you see those hippy scumbags in the stands? My worst nightmare. Yikes. As for this game, Ainge and the Vol offense should have no problem scoring against the Golden Eagles but the Vols defense will have a big time problem stopping Damion Fletcher and the Southern Miss offense. I saw this guy last year as a freshman and he ripped up a stud Gator defense. Despite the crappy defense, I see the Vols with revenge in their eyes and looking to make a statement to the Gators.

Buzzsawed 21

Ainge is good 41

ML

Coker is back! No not Larry “Gollum” Coker, but the UT suspended running back. I’m not sure how much of a difference this will make, as offense was not UT’s problem last week. To further complicate things, Southern Miss isn’t that bad. They ran for over 300 yards last week, and must be licking their chops against a Vol defense that gave more ground than General Pickett at Gettysburg. Unfortunately, I still see the Vols shoring things up on defense and cruising to a relatively easy W.

Still missing Fahvruh 6

Bouncing back 27

South Florida @ Auburn (-7), 9

CB

Considering my hatred for Auburn I am going to be very biased this week. They are such d-bags. Scumbag students, bullshit homer calls, shithole of a town, the list goes on and on. Beware all you Bulls fans that are going on this road trip, the southern folks that go there are so full of shit its gonna make you puke. They’ll be a sweet as molasses before the game and stab you in the back the first chance they get afterwards …

Da Bullssss 20

Et tu Brute? 28

EGM

The Plainsmen looked lethargic on both sides of the ball last week. They are lucky that KState is shitty. BranDONE Cox looked very average last week but not quite as average as the Plainsmen running game. This is gonna be a low scoring game with some serious hitting. Grothe and krew are very good when they are on but I have yet to see them run the ball against a defense like Auburn. Grothe is gonna get smacked around but the Bulls defense will preserve the cover. TAKE THE UNDER!

Not enough wallet 10

Just enough wallet 13

ML

Alright, I’ll admit it. I hate USF. I hate how everyone in my home town is so impressed with their quick rise to BCS contender status. News flash….you play in the Big East. It’s the same conference that Urb’s destroyed in the Fiesta Bowl with Utah. It’s the same conference that focuses on basketball. I’m not that impressed. I could run a program in the state of Florida with no academic standards for athletes and bring in some talent, and I wouldn’t even have to pay them like Jimmy “the Haircut.” This reminds me of when they were all set to “beat” UF in a basketball game at the Sun Dome. Bonner and Co. destroyed them, and that was at home. This game is not. Tommy T will rally the troops and put up a solid W against the Bulls.

No drinking anywhere in town 28

You can drink in our stadium and it is still barren 13

Virginia Tech @ LSU (-12.5), 9:15

CB

I must say that LSU looked pretty formidable last week. However, I still think that it is way too early for the jokers on ESPN to have already stamped the Tigers ticket to the BCS championship game. Further, that Thursday night game last week sounded like it was being broadcasted from the LSU studios. Chris Fowler was being such an LSU mark it literally almost made me sick … or maybe that was the ten beers, EITHER WAY, he’s a prat. I guess all that time sitting up on the Gameday booth being “non-partisan” finally pushed him over the edge. Va-tech struggled last week during a pretty emotional game but came out victorious and now I’m sure they are ready to move on and get their act together. The Hokies have a better defense than Miss State, so that will be a factor, but regardless of how good you play D, their offense HAS to score or the defense will get too tired chasing after Early Doucet all game long. (By the way, is that a fucking family name? I mean Early? What the fuck?). Perhaps special teams play will be a factor in this game. If so, I’m sure that will bring a smile to VT fans everywhere.

Hokies 17

LSU 25

EGM

This game is all defense. But can either of these teams play offense? Va Tech, with Sean Glennon at QB, will score very little. LSU, with Matt Flynn and Early Doucet will score enough. I really don’t see many points on the board with the likes of Dorsey, Highsmith, Steltz, Hall and Adibi lining up. I would be all over the under on this game and despite LSU having a better offense I just can’t justify 12.5, its just too much and Va Tech will get at least one touchdown.

Castrated Turkeys 10

Tigers with balls 17

ML

The Hokies had trouble scoring against East Carolina. They are in deep shit against LSU. It will take at least 3 special teams/defensive scores for this game to even be close. I see the Bayou Bengals ending all talk of a magical “healing” season for the Hokies. This might not be pretty.

Taste like Chicken 9

Earning more first place votes 31

Arkansas - BYE

CB

Great time for a bye week … their athletic director should be fired. I guess it’ll give’em time to prepare for the Crimson Tide.

EGM

I’ll bet they are practicing running plays.

ML

Ohh nice timing on the ol bye week, the players must need to study up for their pop quiz in hog sloppin.

Non-SEC Game of the Week

Notre Dame @ Penn State (-17.5), 3

CB

You know how people always said you either love or hate Notre Dame? That was never really the case for me. I mean I hate the fact that they beat the Gators in the ‘92 Sugar Bowl (1991 season I know but the game was played in Janny), but that was really it. We faced them once and it was when I was 13, believe it or not I got over it. But last year, just looking at Brady Quinn I just wanted to hit him in the face with a shovel. Tell me again, what big games did he win? Oh that’s right. (and who didn’t love the “end of Braveheart” moment at the NFL draft with everyone crying out “Mercy”) I digress; the point is I now understand what the ol’ saying meant. Everyone who isn’t an ND fan by birth or whatever must at some point in their lives develop a reason to hate them. Last year’s poster child was a whiny bitch (anyone who doesn’t believe me, check out the tape of him yelling at his coaches on one of the phones last year at SC), and that’s mine. Oh yea, PSU is suppose to whip up on the Irish this week, but to the tune of 17 and a half? Is Kerry Collins back and out of his drunken stupor? Did Kijana Carter get new magic legs ala Lieutenant Dan? Is it bizarre that the only drunk joke I made was about Penn State and not the “IRISH”? It looks to me like this game could get ugly for ND.

God, we wish we were drunk 10

We’re good? When the hell did this happen? 28

EGM

I called it last week. Notre Dame sucks. Jimmy Clausen or not, ND is in for a world of hurt this year. Their offense has nothing except for a big fat coach and that doesn’t put points on the board. Penn State doesn’t have what I would call a “dynamic” offense but they can get the job done and rarely turn the ball over. Penn State does have a good defense and that means ZERO points for the Domers. Clausen will be balding like his brothers before this one is over.

Brady Quinn has great hair 0

So does Joe Pa 34

ML

I don’t even have to look at the line to know Penn State will romp. Even when Notre Dame was good 20 years ago they had trouble winning in Happy Valley. That was without starting a freshman QB behind a horrible O-line and breaking in a new 3-4 defense. Throw in the fact that ND pasted the Nittany Lions last year, including a fake punt while up 20+, and I see big-time revenge for JoePa and Co. The major downside is that the media is chomping at the bit to play the race card re: Chuck Weis and Ty Will. However, while Chuck is going through growing pains he has brought in consecutive top 10 recruiting classes, whereas Ty was busy playing golf and bringing in top 30 classes.

J.C. better be the second coming 10

Morelli for Heisman???? 28

Week II Slate of Games

Saturday, September 8, 2007

Alabama @ Vanderbilt (+3.5), 12:30

South Carolina @ Georgia (-5.5), 5:45

Missouri @ Ole Miss (+6), 6

Troy @ Florida (-26), 6

Kent State @ Kentucky (-13), 6

Mississippi State @ Tulane (+6), 7

Southern Miss @ Tennessee (-10.5), 7

South Florida @ Auburn (-7), 9

Virginia Tech @ LSU (-12.5), 9:15

Non-SEC Game of the Week

Notre Dame @ Penn State (-17.5), 3

Bourbon Boys Pick The SEC Week I - Full Opening Week Edition

Malt Licker

The long scandal-filled offseason is finally over, and by the time you read this you may have already watched your first college football game. Days like today make me wish I were still in college. Actually, any day of the week that ends in “-day” make me wish I were still in college. However, all is not lost, as in approximately 33 hours I will be pretending I’m in college while getting housed in Gainesville, or as one friend has dubbed it, “the Hollywood of the East Coast.” This season begins with many questions. Will the Gators defend their SEC and National titles? Will the Malt Licker defend his Bourbon Boys Picks title? Will Cuzzin’ Bailey get a job? All this will be answered in the next several months. Until then, enjoy my clever anecdotes and insightful picks.

Cuzzin’ Bailey

Good lord … has it seemed like forever to yall? … I have been itching to be back in the realm of College Football. I can’t lie to my loyal readers … I have been drinking so please ignore my ramblings … but it brings a damn tear to my eye when I realize that the Gators and the rest of the teams are fixing to start the new season off in a few shorts days (hours) … WE did in fact win The National Championship last year and that can do nothing but make life sweeter … sure we’re not the same team … sure our defense is depleted … but that isn’t on my mind … my legs are shakin’ my pulse is racin’ … it is time to get up off your feet and thank God that He has blessed us with other glorious season … I’m gonna talk extemporaneously for a few seconds if you don’t mind … Now that I no longer find myself burdened with the need to appease an outside presence, I feel that this clarity will provide me with the ability to regain the picks title …

El Gran Mono

It’s finally September and the weeks of no football are over. Crack open the Maker’s Mark and Busch Light because its time for SEC football. Last year, I did not defend my picks crown with honor. I feel that my angst concerning the Internet Gambling ban affected my attitude towards ATS picks. Well, that’s all over now and the gloves are officially off. My fellow pickers beware. I lack permanent employment and do not have limitless golf haunting my spare time. And if you didn’t hear, THE FLORIDA GATORS kicked some Ohio State ass for the National Championship…TWICE. Despite not being picked as our game of week, I’d like to welcome in the non-Reggie Ball era of Georgia Tech football by predicting the blitzing, non-cracktastic QB having Yellow Jackets to beat up on the Domers – 28-10. I dedicate my picks to The Phil Ace Show and his bachelor party weekend – bring on the games and the picks!

Saturday, September 1, 2007

Western Kentucky @ Florida (NL), 12:30

ML

Thank you Lincoln Financial! I’ve always wanted to die while at a football game. Given my custom on trips to Gville. Death via heat stroke is certainly possible. I will be drinking heavily Friday, sleeping little, and then waking up early to drink some more. Mix in a heat index of 110 degrees and my sweat hog tendencies, and this could be the last time you all get to read me. Dry your tears though, it’s TEBOW TIME!

Hilltoppers 3

Millhoppers 60

CB

I love Florida … I’m just gonna say it so there isn’t any misunderstanding … I’m not gonna write about this game cause frankly I don’t know anything abut the Hilltoppers … I mean I assume they have gorgeous blonde honeys …But that’s where my so-called knowledge ends … I do know this … Meyer is still worried about the Gators D … that is def a cause for concern for the season, but certainly not in this game … No need to worry about this one … But while we’re not on the subject, as my esteemed colleague aka El Gran Mono believes, we have no business playing these craptastic teams anymore … I am inclined to agree … now that we have the 12^th game, and at least 6 home games, that its time to get some real competition in at least one of these slots … as long as its later in the year as far as I’m concerned …

Hilltoppahs 9

God’s Team 55

EGM

There is no better way to open a National Championship defense then with a Sun Belt foe. Well, actually there is, but we NEED seven home games. I remember when we only needed six. I’m not buying it. This game is going to get ugly very quick.

Hilltoppin’ our asses back to KY 6

Tebow like cupcakes 56

Ole Miss @ Memphis (+2.5), 3:30

ML

This is quite a tradition. Ole Piss v. Memphis State. Yes, they will always be Memphis State. Best known as the school Bill Walton shot 21-23 against in the NCAA final. Ole Piss is best known as the school that had a shit-fit when James Meredith tried to integrate, and the home of Archie and Eli Manning. Unfortunately, those are the only two respectable QBs in the history of this “institution.”

Orgerons 16

Memfrikaners 19

CB

Hooray … the old Ole Mess/Memphrica match up … I am so glad this game is in the mix every year at this time … I mean I sit at home waiting for this game every off season … I’m kidding of course … Seriously … Pick any two other teams in the college football world and I guaran-damn-tee that I would be more interested in that match-up … oh well … shit .. I’m just gonna guess on this one as I do every time …

Rebs 23

Anti-Rebs 20

EGM

An actual competitive game on Week One. Crazy. The Orgeron takes his Visigoths into Memphis well knowing if he does not sack the already downtrodden city that his coaching career at William Faulkner U could be finished. The Rebs don’t appear to be any better this year but “Baby Vick” Schaeffer won’t be starting so that’s a plus. They also feature a guy named BenJarvus. I like Ben…I like Jarvus…why not BENJARVUS!

No Schaeffer = Win 24

Memphis State U 20

Eastern Kentucky @ Kentucky (NL), 6

ML

Man, you must really suck if you can’t get a line against Ky. I can’t believe I’m forced to predict scores in a blog involving three teams from Kentucky. Pass the Bourbon.

Redneck Moonshine 10

Real Bourbon 31

CB

Kentucky in a No Line game … the Apocalypse is on … I’m gonna go on a limb here cause that’s what I do …

We’re Worse than Western 12

Better than Both 40

EGM

I wonder if the Eastern KY Colonels are named after Colonel Sanders!

“Where students and learning come FIRST” 13

“Where basketball comes FIRST!” 55

Oklahoma State @ Georgia (-6.5), 6:45

ML

I must admit, I know next to nothing about Oklahoma State. Is Rashaun Woods still playing for them? I know everyone loves this dude Stafford, and he seems to have a good arm. Unfortunately, to be a successful passer, you need to have an offensive line and receivers who can actually catch. It’s science.

Not the Dallas Cowboys 17

Not the Miss. St. Bulldogs 31

CB

A real game … the first of three this week … however … I still can’t muster up a care in this world … I’m real proud of UGA to be playin’ a pseudo real team … esp one that warrants such a close spread … but for me to pick this properly I would have to know something about the Cowboys … and alas I do not … The Dawgs are favored … I’m a huge fan of early season spreads cause the nerds that put those together probably read up on something … by the way, I still hate jawga … but not as much as the jack ass Seminoles … one bad thing about living in FL …

Okie State 22

We Wear Jean Shorts TOO 27

EGM

Georgia also opens with a respectable opponent in Week One. The Cowboys are quite talented offensively and should put up some points. However, their defense is quite crappy and gives up yards through the air and on the ground. Georgia should be able to score at will if their receivers stop playing hot potato. Stafford really progressed at the end of last season and will no doubt have a head full of Southern hair dangling into his eyes. Once Oklahoma State is forced to pass, I expect the Dawgs to jump all over them like they were a hot Savannah blonde in black stretch pants.

Above average Big 12 team 24

Above average SEC team 34

Western Carolina @ Alabama (NL), 7

ML

The Chanticleers...actually...its not the Chanticleers, that is Coastal Carolina. I really wanted this to be the Chanticleers. This tells you all you need to know about West Carolina....On the front page of the school’s website is another school’s football coach. Paul Johnson, head coach of Navy and Physical Education degree holder from this esteemed school in Cullowhee, North Carolina.

Worse than Navy 6

Satan’s a liar 27

CB

What do you want me to say? I’m happy that Saban proved he is no better than Spurrier by moving onto a rival of his old team? … Not really … I actually hate him … not cause of this move per say … but just cause folks think (esp the 90,000+ who went to the Bama Spring game) that this will automatically legitimize them … I mean as a future recruit of the Tide, aren’t you concerned that Nick is gonna bolt for the next big contract that is shoved down his throat? … I mean the guy couldn’t win with a hurt Dante Culpepper … how good could he possibly be? …

Where is West Carolina? In Georgia? 0

Prothro’s Sugar Daddy 37

EGM

Western Carolina - “A whole new world of opportunities, adventure, and friendship”… and unprotected sex with people who didn’t get into UNC.

Catamounts 0

Satan is back 52

Troy @ Arkansas (-23.5), 7

ML

Can the trojans give this Nutt a scare? Is there any doubt all 3 prognosticators will reference testicles and prophylactics?

Queers of Troy 6

Hawgs 17

CB

Gators are playing them next week? … Oh … As I was saying … Kudos to Some what-Kansas to schedule such a titan … The Men of Troy gave FSU a “run” for their money last year … funny all the Razorbacks do is “run” … should be fun … and by fun I mean shitty

Trojans were gay 13

McFadden isn’t just a bar 35

EGM

Arkansas also went outside the box by scheduling a Week One opponent who is neither D-IAA nor emerging from D-IAA. I’m betting on McFadden, Jones and Hillis running over Troy like Achilles running over Hector. Very little throwing…

Back to Asia Minor 10

Nuttin’ some Trojans 41

Richmond @ Vanderbilt (NL), 7

ML

Bad news for the Spiders. It’s way too early in the academic calendar to even have a quiz. Maybe some of the Vanderdorks have Chem lab or something.

Itsy Bitsy Score 6

High Marks 41

CB

Excuse me what? … Vandy is graced with a no liner? … fuck this noise … I don’t hate the Spiders, just certain folks who went there … like this intern that blew me off … what? … Wait, was that out loud? …

Sneaky Spider Bastards 13

Vandee 20 x pi

EGM

After going to the University of Richmond website and searching the “Experience Richmond” section, I’ve decided that everybody is actually trying to get the fuck OUT of Richmond. The top three featured “experiences” are as follows: 1) Easter Island Research Project; 2) Extreme learning – learn “outside” the classroom; and 3) China Study Abroad. It’s too bad this D-IAA school won’t count as a bowl eligible win…so sorry, another year without a bowl game for the Doremats.

Spidermen 6

Chris Nickson TDs 7

Louisiana-Lafayette @ South Carolina (NL), 7

ML

Steve v. Lou-La….Click Clack Click Clack!!!! SpurDog needs to worry about his boozehound QB and his penchant for drunken shenanigans. Maybe he should have his wife talk to Blakey. I hear she’s had to deal with a drunken QB a time or two in her day.

Make les marquis proud 2

Cock clack Cock Clack 33

CB

Jesus!!! … another shit box SEC team with an NL? … Spur-dawg has another suspended player … was this another shithead that he promised a scholarship if he could tie his shoes? …

L-LAY 17

USC 39

EGM

What will South Carolina do without Phil Petty? Oops, I mean Blake Mitchell.

My guess: Win.

Ragin’ does not mean good 10

Drawin’ up ballplays 56

Kansas State @ Auburn (-13.5), 7:45

ML

When is K-State going to get back to the days of openly cheating, recruiting steroid-bred freaks from the 13 JUCOs that populate the state, constantly whining about respect, and then getting killed in Bowl Games. I hope Awbarn rips the shit out of them…and I hate Auburn. I should quit my job and tour all the college towns in a select conference each year for a gameday weekend. I wonder what Manhattan Kansas is like.

Awbarn 34

K-State 17

CB

I like the juevos on Auburn to bring in an actual opponent this week … but regardless of the game, I have absolutely no doubt that the referees will make sure that this one goes in favor of WAR DAMN EAGLE … God I hate that….

The other Manhattan 17

Our Wallets are Bigger than Your Population 29

EGM

If Oklahoma State is an above average Big 12 team then Kansas State is average. Additionally, they are absolutely terrible on the road where they lost to Baylor 17-3 last year. I expect Auburn’s defense to totally dominate this game with their stud defensive ends hammering KState QBs on every play. Despite Auburn breaking in a greenish OLine they should be able to run the ball against a soft KState front four. However, if the Plainsmen rely on Brandon Cox, then this one could be a nail-biter.

No more Bill Snyder patsies 9

Very little Cox 23

Tennessee @ California (-6), 8

ML

Game of the week! Can the Bears get revenge against Ainge and a slimmed down Phat Phil? Who cares…the big story here is the clash of cultures about to take place in Berkeley. The dope-smoking, flannel wearing douches will no doubt be horrified at the visions of orange-clad, barbecue stained hicks invading their town. I can already see the condescension emanating from the Bay Area. Tedford and Co. need to win this game if they ever want to make “the leap” to major-program status.

Vawwwlz 22

Bearzzz 20

CB

If all goes according to plan, I will be in the arms of a gorgeous Asian stripper by the time this game kicks off … sorry wrong blog … oh right … here’s an actual game to discuss … too bad I’m spent and I hate the Volunteers … did I ever tell yall that I saw Phat Phil speak one time … he made a crack on the Gators … what a dick … I think he was just pissed that St Pete didn’t supply enough McRibwiches … man that does sound good come to think of it … nevertheless … I can’t wait til the UF UT match up in a few weeks … oh yea … Cal is in California … sweet

Mmmm-McRibwich 23

Left-Coast 21

EGM

The Vols were +3 in this game last year and totally smoked the Berkely libs. I don’t see the result being much different this year. Cal still can’t play defense and UT is better on defense than people think. DeSean Williams and Cal’s offense did jack squat last year with Marshawn Lynch, why would they do any better this year? The PAC-10 is USC and a bunch of all-offense peons. The Vols will invade Berkely and paint it red with blood of Cal’s DBs.

Ainge for Heisman? 31

Pussy ass Bears 17

Non-SEC Game of the Week

Monday, September 3, 2007

Florida State @ Clemson (+3.5), 8

ML

Bowden Bowl. Insert obligatory Bowden inbred joke, rinse, repeat. We’ll see how well F$U’s new offensive staff has fared with this early test. The real key is the Nole$ run defense and how it will fare against CJ Spiller and James Davis. If they can contain those two, they’ll get a nice head start in their quest to unseat…haha….Wake…haha…Forest… as ACC champion. Man, that never gets old.

$cuminole$ 22

Still the worst bowden 16

CB

I am so glad we stopped picking the FSU and Miami games … wait … what the hell is this?? … looks like clash of the Bowdens part fiddy … This actually should be an entertaining game … its in Clemson so that’ll mean that Daddy Bowden will have to pull out all the stops like A) his (patent-pending) “what the hell just happened” look; and B) his put on the headphones “lets act like I’m part of the coaching staff and not brain dead” move … he revamped his offense by sucking off, I mean hiring Joe-Jack Fisher from LSoo … they still have to deal with jabrones like Duh-rew Weatherford and Xavier Lee … Oh yea … I hear Clemzin should be good … they have that running back who’s name escapes me right now … CJ .. something … all I know is that when they were trying to talk him up on TV last week they kept showing the same three runs from last year … two of which were against Army … now I’m not a scientician … but last time I checked Army sucked …

WE Won…No we lost 23

No Dad, We’ll Lose This Time 14

EGM

Bowden Bowl, how exciting? Do you think they’ll show Ann and her dementia created sweater? I just threw up in my mouth. F$U’s defense looks pretty nasty and will be able to stop the run. Clemson’s inexperienced QBs will have to throw to win and they will be facing some serious pressure. It would seem like an F$U ass kicking unless you forget about the lethargy of the Nole$ running game and spastic QB play. I can see Jimbo Fisher having a big improvement in the future but you won’t see the results in one game.

The Curse of Jeff Bowden 10

Death Valley difference 13

Bourbon Boys Pick The SEC Week I - Thursday Edition

Malt Licker

The long scandal-filled offseason is finally over, and by the time you read this you may have already watched your first college football game. Days like today make me wish I were still in college. Actually, any day of the week that ends in “-day” make me wish I were still in college. However, all is not lost, as in approximately 33 hours I will be pretending I’m in college while getting housed in Gainesville, or as one friend has dubbed it, “the Hollywood of the East Coast.” This season begins with many questions. Will the Gators defend their SEC and National titles? Will the Malt Licker defend his Bourbon Boys Picks title? Will Cuzzin’ Bailey get a job? All this will be answered in the next several months. Until then, enjoy my clever anecdotes and insightful picks.

Cuzzin’ Bailey

Good lord … has it seemed like forever to yall? … I have been itching to be back in the realm of College Football. I can’t lie to my loyal readers … I have been drinking so please ignore my ramblings … but it brings a damn tear to my eye when I realize that the Gators and the rest of the teams are fixing to start the new season off in a few shorts days (hours) … WE did in fact win The National Championship last year and that can do nothing but make life sweeter … sure we’re not the same team … sure our defense is depleted … but that isn’t on my mind … my legs are shakin’ my pulse is racin’ … it is time to get up off your feet and thank God that He has blessed us with other glorious season … I’m gonna talk extemporaneously for a few seconds if you don’t mind … Now that I no longer find myself burdened with the need to appease an outside presence, I feel that this clarity will provide me with the ability to regain the picks title …

El Gran Mono

It’s finally September and the weeks of no football are over. Crack open the Maker’s Mark and Busch Light because its time for SEC football. Last year, I did not defend my picks crown with honor. I feel that my angst concerning the Internet Gambling ban affected my attitude towards ATS picks. Well, that’s all over now and the gloves are officially off. My fellow pickers beware. I lack permanent employment and do not have limitless golf haunting my spare time. And if you didn’t hear, THE FLORIDA GATORS kicked some Ohio State ass for the National Championship…TWICE. Despite not being picked as our game of week, I’d like to welcome in the non-Reggie Ball era of Georgia Tech football by predicting the blitzing, non-cracktastic QB having Yellow Jackets to beat up on the Domers – 28-10. I dedicate my picks to The Phil Ace Show and his bachelor party weekend – bring on the games and the picks!

Thursday, August 30, 2007

LSU @ Mississippi State (+18), 8

ML

After reading a few previews in my research for this game, I noticed that Ol’ Sly is worried about his QB Michael Henig’s “footwork.” What is this…Cotillion??? If you have a QB who can’t walk, chances are he can’t throw either. Sly should be worried about LSU’s stud athletes dancing into his end zone and the beginning of his funeral procession to the graveyard of discarded SEC coaches.

Piss State 14

Les U 34

CB

Most of the world has already crowned LSU the National Championship not to mention the SEC title … Are we to believe that they are that much better WITHOUT the first-round-drafted Jar-Jar Russell? … I suppose so … I mean they now have Matt Flynn … the guy that beat Miami in a Peach Bowl that meant jack shit to both teams … well shit I guess I would love to have this douchebag on my team … not that he won’t be decent, but he didn’t beat out run-at-all-costs Russell … maybe he draws up better plays in the dirt than Josh Booty did … fuck … I don’t know … it’s the first game of the season AT MSU … big win for the cay-jons … I think.

Gay-Ron-Tee 37

Vick Didn’t Get These Dogs 17

EGM

What ever happened to Miss State having a tough defense and a serviceable run offense? Sly Croom has managed to do nothing in his first three years other than stop hog castration in the locker room. LSU is on the opposite side of the spectrum it seems. The Cajuns are red hot off an assthrottling of the Domers and they return numerous starters and stud recruits. Oh, they also don’t have JarJar to screw up their offense anymore. Flynn has always been better than him and now he gets his chance to prove it. So, if Miss State is terrible and LSU looks great, then why only 18 points? Starkville, that’s why, its a terrible place full of clanging and people who have not mastered rudimentary aspects of the English language. I’m also betting that LSU sits many of their starters so they don’t get hurt for the VaTech game. Miss State has a knack for beating up your team in the process of losing.

Warming up for the Castrated Turkeys 31

Another season of misery…with a black coach 14

Slate of Games, Week I, 2007

Despite the ban on internet gambling the Bourbon Boys will continue to go ATS (for entertainment purposes only). Lines from pinnanclesports.com.

Additionally, this year we will be picking a Non-SEC game of the week as decided by the Bourbon Boys themselves with some input from various readers.

Well here it is, FOOTBALL IS BACK!

Thursday, August 30, 2007

LSU @ Mississippi State (+18), 8

Saturday, September 1, 2007

Western Kentucky @ Florida (NL), 12:30

Ole Miss @ Memphis (+2.5), 3:30

Eastern Kentucky @ Kentucky (NL), 6

Oklahoma State @ Georgia (-6.5), 6:45

Western Carolina @ Alabama (NL), 7

Troy @ Arkansas (-23.5), 7

Richmond @ Vanderbilt (NL), 7

Louisiana-Lafayette @ South Carolina (NL), 7

Kansas State @ Auburn (-13.5), 7:45

Tennessee @ California (-6), 8

Non-SEC Game of the Week

Monday, September 3, 2007

Florida State @ Clemson (+3.5), 8

Two Daves Out, We're IN

Two Daves is out. Now we are the ONLY weekly newsletter breaking down the games of the SEC for entertainment purposes only!

Champions

41-14.

Predicted Order of Finish Comparison

Predicted Standings w/ Actual Finish Highlighted

East

Cuzzin Bailey Malt Licker El Gran Mono ACTUAL

1. Florida 1. Florida 1. Florida 1. FLORIDA (7-1)

2. Georgia 2. Tennessee 2. Tennessee 2. TENNESSEE (5-3)

3. South Carolina 3. Georgia 3. Georgia 3. KENTUCKY (4-4)

4. Tennessee 4. South Carolina 4. South Carolina 4. GEORGIA (4-4)

5. Kentucky 5. Kentucky 5. Kentucky 5. SOUTH CAROLINA (3-5)

6. Vanderbilt 6. Vanderbilt 6. Vanderbilt 6. VANDERBILT (1-7)

West

1. Auburn 1. Auburn 1. LSU 1. ARKANSAS (7-1)

2. LSU 2. LSU 2. Auburn 2. AUBURN (6-2)

3. Alabama 3. Arkansas 3. Arkansas 3. LSU (6-2)

4. Arkansas 4. Alabama 4. Alabama 4. ALABAMA (2-6)

5. Miss St 5. Ole Miss 5. Ole Miss 5. OLE MISS (2-6)

6. Ole Miss 6. Miss St 6. Miss St 6. MISS STATE (1-7)

Bourbon Boys Pick The SEC - Championship Week

Saturday, December 2, 2006

Georgia Dome, Atlanta, GA

Arkansas vs. Florida (-2.5), 6

CB

Well, when you talk about all-time choke artist moves, you’ll see a picture of me right next to Mitch Williams and Chris Webber. I had a nice lead only to give it up over the last 6 weeks…you know come to think of it…losing a small lead over a month and a half isn’t really choking … I think I did a great job … hell, I’m surprised and saddened that it took Malt Licker this long to barely beat me … if anyone is the choke artist, its him … he’s the one that should have beaten me by more … Does this sound familiar sports fans? Apparently it’s not good enough to win against valiant opponents anymore…screw the BCS…wow that was quite the tangent…on to the pick(s?)…

Man, the one thing I like about this spread is that when the Gators pull it out, they will win by a very small margin like they always do, and it don’t get much smaller than 2.5. Anyways, I’m clearly taking the Gators cause I’m a total UF mark so I’m not gonna go too into why I think they are going to win, but I will say this…we definitely need Percy playing close to top speed. He played brilliantly last week and after he went out, getting in the endzone seemed like more of a chore than me cleaning my room … Urb says that Harvin is ready to go … that’s good enough for me. Anyways, UF has to stop the running game … yada yada yada … no shit. Anyway, as this is the last regular season game, I can’t believe that the first game of the season will have been three months ago…its incredible how time flies like that. Anyways, here’s hoping for an SEC championship and another trip to the Sugar Bowl…

Arkansas 17

Florida 21

EGM
It's been a long time since the Gators have been in the SEC Championship Game (2000). However, they are facing an opponent who has scored 6 total points in their two SEC Championship appearances. Florida is widely regarded as having a poor offense because they have struggled to blow teams out of late. The reality is that the Gators have a very trick oriented run game that has problems running out the clock. Since Wynn hurt his shoulder after the fourth game the Gators have resorted to horseshit reverses and QB draws in the second half of most of their games.

As for Arkansas' offense, they lack any real passing game with Casey Dicksmoke at QB. Mustain is the obvious better player of the two but he started playing with imaginary friends and taking long walks by himself late in the season and that lead to Dickface as the starter. McFadden also mixes in a little QB action in between 90 yd TD runs. Arkansas can run with the best of them but UF can stop the run with the best of them. This matchup will decide the game because Arkansas and their blitz-at-all-costs defense will pay the price with a couple of big pass plays by Leak who suddenly looks composed.

One dimensional teams like Arkansas have a hard time beating teams with equal or superior talent (see last week). That's why I'm taking the Gators to cover easily and bring me to .500 on the season. Look for turnovers in the Arkansas "passing" game by Mitchy "I see dead people" Mustain and Casey Dicknose.

Plus, the Gators have had great luck with the Bourbon Boys assembled together. Should be a great time at the beach. Congrats to the bride and groom.

Not enough Nutt 17
SEC spurned by BCS once again 31

ML

First of all, I would like to humbly accept all accolades appurtenant to this tremendous honor. I believe this is my "first ever" Bourbon Boys Pick the SEC championship. Unfortunately, strict adherence to my selections may not be enough to cover the "juice" with each wager. I know we claim that this is for entertainment purposes, but we all know that is a lie. However, my statement to Big Brother is this..."you wanna investigate me???? Roll the dice and take your chances!" Is that from "A Few Good Men"? I'm sure Cuzzin' Bailey would know. Even though it is not "Tango & Cash," I'm sure he's still seen it 45 times, while dining on Tostitos and Pace Picante Sauce.

I'm debating whether or not I should even give an opinion on this game. Due to occurrences beyond my control, it is questionable whether or not I'll be able to watch it live. I don't even have a TIVO, which means I'll have to tape it with a VHS. My current residence is still stuck in the Stone Age. I suppose it could be worse, I could be getting married, living in the Sudan, or gearing up for the "Emeril" Bowl. However, my beloved Gators are back where they belong, Atlanta on the first Saturday in December. Basically this game comes down to one player, that player is Darren McFadden. This guy is electric and can take it the distance at any time, whether coming out of the backfield, playing QB, or running back kicks, you have to keep him in check. If the Gators keep his ass under 150 total yards, we'll win by two Touchdowns. If not, it will be dicey. Thankfully, the Gators may have the best defensive player in the nation on the field trying to stop McFadden. That's right, Reggie "Don't call me Jesus because I'm already better than any deity could hope to be" Nelson. I suggest we have this man shadow McFadden the entire game, and roll Joiner over whichever corner is covering Monk. Offensively, simply continue with what worked against F$U, the short passing game. We have some receivers who are sick after the catch, let them operate in space and do some damage. Limit reverses and QB draws with Leak on 2nd and 12. It really is an easy game.

Not so Boss Hawgs 13

Dukes of Alachua County 23

Slate of Games and...CHAMPION CROWNED!

Only one game this week and pinnaclesports.com will provide us with the necessary line (for entertainment purposes only). I was the only team at .500 last week with CB and ML going 1-5-1 and 2-4-1 respectively. But more importantly, Malt Licker has clinched the championship of pickmaster of the universe...of the SEC. The only fun is really in the game this week and perhaps a shot at all the pickers going .500 or better. I'm going to post the comparison of the division predictions to the actual results later today. Should be good pre-Mr Speed wedding fodder.

Saturday, December 2, 2006

Georgia Dome, Atlanta, GA

Arkansas vs. Florida (-2.5), 6

Bourbon Boys Pick The SEC Week XIII – Saturday Edition

South Carolina at Clemson (-5.5), 12

CB

USC led by Spurrier dropped a 50 bomb on some subpar opponent last week proving that he still got it bitch! I am weary to go with Tigers in a situation like this. Everytime I put my faith in them they have screwed me, but come on … that can’t happen again can it? Naw, I’m going for the team that has modeled its entire existence off of Auburn…

USCOCKS 17

Auburn of the North … sort of 23

ML

Come on Spur-Dog! We need all the help in our gay little BCS power rating. I hate college football sometimes. Visor man needs to deflect the distractions of various job opportunities and concentrate on stopping Clemzzzzon and CJ Spiller. The Cocks have not won one of these close games all year. Will they break that trend or will it be the story of their season?

Break it Cocks! 20

Scariest looking mascot ever 14

EGM

Not much defense will be featured in this battle of rednecks. I’m sure their will be talk of “heritage not hate” in the stands.

Cockadoodledoo 31

Clemzon 28

Florida at FSU (+10), 12

CB

Well, UF favored by double digits playing AWAY … sure a team that has been struggling … but a serious rival … I don’t know if I like that look. I mean, I am 100% sure that we are gonna win, but are we really gonna smoke them to the tune of a virtual blow out? … Hell why not? Sure Bowden is gonna have his team jacked, but what was he doing last year? This is the same bullshit team led by the same bullshit coaches … Even their fans have given up on the season, that’s one thing I know about FSU fans is that they are sell out bitches … I say go with the Gators (and this was a totally unbiased opinion)…riiiight

FLORIDA 35

STATE 14

ML

10 point favorites….on the road….in Tallaha$$ee. I never really thought I’d see this day, and to be honest, it is frightening. If the hapless Nole$ can’t get fired up for this, they have no soul. Thankfully, the strength of the Gators is F$U’s weakness. Our D-Line v. their O-Line, and the D-Line will dominate, sacking whoever is QB and forcing at least 3 turnovers. Our offense will finally put it all together and notch an impressive victory.

Fightin’ Gators 31

Hapless Nole$ 10

EGM

Florida $tate $ucks!

BCS? 31

Hello Boise 7

Kentucky at Tennessee (-18.5), 12:30

CB

HAHA UK had a fucking shootout last week against Louisiana Monroe. I don’t know if that’s a good sign for when they play the Vols in Knoxville. Eriq Ainge returned last week in huge fashion that spells trouble for the Mildcats bullshit defense. Kentucky’s offense is another story. They have the ability to score at will against shitty teams, so that will be the real trick…whether or not they can compete against a good group. I say no, but will they get it handed to them to the tune of 19 points? I need a good win here so I’m taking Kentucky with the spread…

Kensucky 17

Fulmer’s a bitch 30

ML

Phat Phil has never lost to the Mildcats. UK has a chance to go 8-4, and match the Vols record. This would truly be unprecedented. If this game were at Commonwealth stadium, and before Thanksgiving, I’d give UK a chance. But Phil will have already been fed and his mind will be acute. Rich Brooks has earned himself another year, but is this a good thing?

UK 17

UT 38

EGM

The Vols are much better with Ainge but KY has enough offense to keep this one under the number.

Rich Brooks new deal 21

Citrus Bowl 35

Mississippi State at Ole Miss (-3), 2

CB

The gayest name in College sports rivalries. This is the battle for the “Golden Egg”. Did some redneck see Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory one too many times? My God I just looked up some history of the Egg Bowl…it is so stupid … “supremacy in college football in the state of Mississippi” HAHAHA … The worst part is that with both of these teams sucking crank this year, this might be quite a competitive game … worth watching … then shooting yourself afterwards … don’t say I didn’t warn you…

Mess State 18

Ole Piss 21

ML

Ahhhh…the Egg Bowl! You can throw out the records when these two squads get together. I bet both fan bases wish they could.

Sly 19

The Orgeron 21

EGM

Take a shit on the pavement. Smash it with your foot. Let the sun warm it up. That’s this game.

Croom on fire 21

Orgeron not 20

Georgia Tech at Georgia (-1.5), 3:30

CB

Great, another fun game against two teams that I have zero interest in. Tech has been pretty solid all year with the exception of their total flake job against Clemson. UGA was total shite until they romper stomped Auburn handily two weeks ago. I mean freaking explain that to me…They lost to UT, not that big of a deal, as the Vols are decent, but then they blew I at home to Vandy… but even Vandy has their days … they of course lost to UF … but then to UK?!?! … I mean who loses to UK … Kentucky sucks ass … but then when it came time to roll into the Plains of Auburn, the Dawgs played like they were National Champ contenders … which they aren’t … now they are favored against a good team … how does one win a favorite make?? Anyways, … I think the Auburn game was a fluke … Tech will be gearing up for the ACC title game and what better way to hone your skeels than against an interstate rival?

Tech 16

UGA 13

ML

My god..Reggie “crackhead” Ball has a completion percentage of 47.4% and shit-head Stafford has 5 TDs and 12 INTs. The Dawgs had a bye week to savor their big victory over Au-buhn and prepare for their intrastate rivals. I feel like the Dawgs treat Tech like we treat them. Basically, they own the Engineers

Georgia…Blech 13

Dirty Dawgs 20

EGM

Georgia is playing tough again. There defense should have it way with Reggie Crackhead Ball.

Arthropods 13

Canines 21

This is Dylan, you know the drill! bourbonboyspicks@yahoo.com