El Gran Mono
Last week was certainly a great week of football if you’re an Auburn or South Carolina fan. Unfortunately, I’m neither of those things so I’m down in the dumps trying to figure out what the NBA schedule is this Friday.
Malt Licker
Now that the Gator season is in shambles, thanks in no small part to Addazio, Mr. Mom Meyer and Johnny Brantley (nice catch dude), I’ve turned my attention to the soap opera coming out of the Plains in Alabama. This story has everything. Scumbag Supreme Bobby Lowder, the Victoryland Racino, tremendous luck by Auburn players at said Racino, Great Southern Wood, misappropriation of TARP funds, federal indictments, a crooked preacher (Cam’s Dad), the best player in the country and Joe Schad’s receding hairline. What more could you ask for? Oh yea, how bout we not lose at home to our former coach while registering 67 yards through three quarters? How bout no more swing passes when the entire defense is within 10 yards of the line of scrimmage? How bout blocking someone? Can we consider benching defensive ends that bring less pressure from the outside than Betty White and a quarterback with less pocket presence than a piece of lent? As for Mr. Mom Meyer, maybe your family should be satisfied with the $4 million daddy brings home and you should spend all your time making sure the product on the field warrants that salary.
Cuzzin Bailey
Okay this is the first time in I think forever, I had a personal attendance LOSING record. But that’s what we got here. I made an impromptu trip to Gainesville last Saturday and now I have seen ONE win and THREE losses this season. Pathetic. And to top off a great weekend, on Monday the media ran with a story that stated that Steve Adazzio was definitely coming back next season. Here’s the rub: at the press conference, Meyer was asked if Adazz would be fired, he said, “no I don’t think so.” Does that sound like a rousing endorsement to you???? I hate sports reporters sometimes, but then again I’m addicted to twitter, so there’s really nothing I can do about this. Speaking of Twitter, I past my thousandth Tweet early this week. Can you believe you have already missed 1000 examples of my awesomeness? Its not too late. Really ain’t too many exciting games this weekend with all the bigtime rivalries next weekend. In regards to the Gators, while I am terribly disappointed by the outcome last weekend and hell, the entire season, I am hopeful that our headcoach, who has won 2 National Titles and 2 SEC championships is fully capable of righting this ship. It looks dark, but it would be foolish for anyone to call for Meyer to be fired. And one more thing, anyone who was “HAPPY” when Spurrier beat us last weekend should take all of his Gator gear, put in a box and send it off to someone who isn’t a total sellout. If you do this I will personally send you a Gamecock hat, and staple it to your Benedict Arnold head. Spurrier is NOT your friend if you are a Gator. He did some wonderful things at UF and then left us high and dry, and THEN became a coach at a division RIVAL. Not saying I wish he had never coached the Gators, but that he sure is acting like it meant nothing to him. To everyone who said, “CuzzinBailey, you’re over reacting. He’s going to USC, he’ll never challenge us for the SEC East,” well I have a word for you, and it ain’t pretty. Hey if you want some exciting not-so-breaking news, follow me on Twitter: http://twitter.com/CuzzinBailey It’ll change your life.
Bye Week: Auburn; Georgia; Kentucky
Thursday
7:30pm
CB
Georgia State at Alabama (NL)
Well with Auburn beating regular Georgia last weekend, the West was locked up too. Devastating perhaps to the Tide as an Iron Bowl win won’t mean as much as it could have meant. That isn’t to say Bama would LOVE to ruin an otherwise perfect season for the Tigers. Georgia State plays teams I swear I have never heard of and a few that surprised me that they have football teams. GSU lost to Old Dominion. That should say it all here kids. The Tide could struggle all day long but that isn’t going to change anything. Crimson Tide roll in this one, playing mostly backups and to tune up for their chances to send Cam Newton to the NFL with no Heisman and no chance at a National Title. Nope, all that kid’s gonna carry with him, other than a humongous amount of baggage, is an SEC title ring that will be taken away almost as quickly as it was won.
Jawja State 3
Bama 63
EGM
Who really cares?
ML
Bill Curry U 0
Bama 99
Saturday
12:21pm
ML
Troy at South Carolina (-23)
It’s weird. I don’t feel anger toward the ol’ ball coach, but at the same time I didn’t feel a tinge of joy or happiness that he won the East. Let’s be honest, it is highly unlikely the rest of the East will be this down again, so if SC were ever going to win the division it had to be this year. Unless of course the Gators decide to bring back Addazio and double down on the spread with John Brantley, then they just have to worry about Georgia. I fully expect Troy to cover this week. After all, SC will have a bit of a hangover and last time I heard Troy doesn’t have a Pop Warner offense.
Trojans 17
Cocks 30
CB
Troy 16
Cocks 27
EGM
Trojans 13
Cocks 31
12:30pm
EGM
Appalachian State at Florida (NL)
What a pathetic showing for the Gators on Saturday night. They looked thoroughly unprepared and unmotivated. I can’t blame things like that on the coach, right? I mean gameplanning, adapting to personnel issues, putting players in the right situations are not things coaches should really do, right? The job of coach is to find a system, put the system into place, hope the players are suited for the system, and sit back and watch the results. If the results are not good, double down on the system and start splitting fours (i.e. run the same plays only faster). Urban Meyer had the dumbfounded gaze of Ron Zook on Saturday night. The only different thing is that Zook’s teams scored points while he maintained this posture. I’m sure the stalwart spread offense defender would immediately ask me if I liked Zook more. Of course I don’t, I’m merely saying the Meyer looks like Cougar from Top Gun after the run in with the MIG. He might even have a picture of his kids in his pocket that he looks at during games. Its time for the bald, shittalking Captain of the ship to give Coug a good talking to. Meyer makes huge dollars, there is no excuse for this type of failure. I know I’m supposed to “give him a break” because of the national titles but he’s not the same coach that won those titles. In the early years he adapted and did what it takes. Now, he merely looks Addazio in the eye and says “it worked in practice, right?”
I understand I’m that guy now. The overreacting, bad fan. I don’t care. I love winning. If I failed like Meyer this year in my own career, I would be fired. I apply the same standard.
The offense is just pathetic. There is no way to describe how bad it is. Its not just a personnel issue.
The defense is sloppy and prone to giving up huge plays due to a Joe Lee Dunn style of blitzing.
That’s the 2010 Florida Gators. Don’t expect changes either. After all, it’s all about the system. Hopefully, someday is about winning again.
Mountaineers 500
Gators 0
ML
Appy State 12
Swing Pass U 2
CB
Appy 6
FLORIDA 34
3:30pm
CB
Ole Miss at LSU (-16)
Its funny, every once in a while this rivalry actually lives up to its potential. Every so often these teams put on a show that would make Billy Cannon stand up and cheer, the kind that would make Archie Manning opt for another face lift! Unfortunately this year, the Ole Miss winning streak over the Bayou Bengals will end in a big way. Its pretty clear that Les “Guess” Miles has proven that he isn’t the total hack we all thought he was with some bigtime wins this season. This can result in 1 of 2 things. Perhaps LSU, knowing now that their shot at the SEC title is officially kaput, will just mail this game in knowing its pretty much a lock while they think ahead towards Arkansas, or 2) LSU will roll the Rebels because that is what all the experts are saying. I hate to say this, but I think the latter is most likely to occur. I really dislike the Tigers, but they are the better team. If this were at night I would call for a record number of murders in Baton Rouge. Thankfully, it’s a day game.
Rebs 10
Tigs 25
EGM
Black Bears 13
Tigers 16
ML
Stuffed Bears 10
Drunk Tigers 34
7:00pm
ML
Arkansas at Mississippi State (+3)
I actually had to look up whether these two teams won or lost last week. It goes to show you how “checked-out” I’ve been since the worst performance by a Gator team in 20+ years. Arkansas predictably whipped up on UTEP, and their quarterback almost threw for as many TDs as the Gators have all year. I wonder how many swing passes Petrino called. Meanwhile, the Western Dawgs fell to ‘Bama, but look like a paragon of virtue if you believe the details of Cam-Gate. I actually blame the Gators for MSU’s loss. Bear with me. Since UF was the last “high profile” opponent before the Bama game, I think their DC was under the misapprehension that it was against the rules to throw the ball more than 6 yards down the field. How else can you explain 45 and 78 yard TD passes allowed? I think the Bulldogs will adjust, and play a soft zone against Mallett and try to force FGs. It will work, for a while…
Aerial Arky 29
Ground Dogs 20
CB
Ark 27
Miss St 26
EGM
Arky 31
Miss State 17
EGM
Tennessee at Vanderbilt (+9.5)
I could really care less about both of these teams. Tennessee has a few good players. Vandy has zero good players and a fat coach. I guess that’s worth about nine and half points.
Vols 21
Vandy 13
ML
UT 30
VU 10
CB
UT 38
Vandie 10
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