Malt Licker
Should we really be excited? I mean, it is Georgia. Shouldn’t we consider it a loss since it took extra time to beat the Dawgies? Maybe we should, but I was psyched last week. It felt great to finally get a W and avoid going 0 for October, especially since I was convinced we couldn’t stop Orson Charles and AJ Green. There is one big game out west, as ‘Bama looks to sidestep the Mad Hatter and setup a huge Iron Bowl, but the rest of the SEC slate is underwhelming. That’s okay though, because I get to write about my adopted favorite team, Boise State!!!!
Cuzzin Bailey
Welcome back to reality everyone, and by that I mean they won’t lock you up on the loony bin to think the Gators have a decent shot at a trip to Hot-Lanta. In a thrilling OT victory over the hated Bulldyk..DOGS, the Gators have “resurrected” their season and with some destruction this weekend, we’ll be one game away from glory. (And by “glory” I mean our opportunity to go 0-fer the SEC West this year). Anyways, wrapping up the Horror movie theme, last night I watched a movie El Gran Mono wouldn’t be caught dead watching…the new version of Nightmare on Elm Street. EGM is a traditionalist when it comes to movies; he will NEVER watch a remake. You have to respect that line in the sand, HE WON’T DO IT! Anyways, the movie was REALLY scary. Not fun and campy like the Jason movies, and very graphic unlike Halloween. Kind of like the Gators…remember when it was fun to watch our team and not terrible nerve-racking? For most of this season I have watched us play with a hand over my eyes just in case Freddy’s gonna jump out of a freaking mirror and kill someone (and he does). Well hopefully those days are over, I’m liking this triple threat QB system we have going here, (one passes, one runs fast, one runs big)…So basically its taking 3 dudes to do what one kid did here for 4 years. And you know what? I don’t give a crap! I hope JB is being honest when he says it doesn’t bother him…actually, I don’t care. All I really care about is winning (oh and doing “the right way,” HAHA just kidding). GO GATORS! If you want to follow nonsensical sports and other topics on twitter, follow me and then delete me…it happens: http://twitter.com/CuzzinBailey
El Gran Mono
I am now on Zocor, that’s what the Gators have driven me to. However, I guess that’s better than the cocktail of anti-depressants and erection drugs that UGA fans have been on for the last 21 years. I’ll let Cuzz’ Bailey, #1 Gator enthusiast cover the rest of the game because I’m only going to bring people down. As for the rest of the SEC/NCAA, Roadblock Saturday proved to be a true obstacle to faux BCS chances (see Mizzou and Sparty). Oregon had no trouble with the father and son hack combo. Oregon State and Arizona are all that stands between the Ducks and 17 point loss to Alabama on a Monday night in January. That’s right, I’m not buying the Ducks against a real defense. I think they are good but remind me a lot of 2008 Joklahoma. And that Sooner team, had a much better QB, OLine and defense.
As for this week, I fully expect a war between the Tide and Tigers and more Cam Newton rumors…
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Mississippi State – OFF WEEK
12:21pm
CB
Florida at Vanderbilt (-14)
As I’m sure you all are aware of by now, the Gators are 2 SEC wins away from going back to the SEC Champ game, something that seemed ludicrous as recent as last week. Now I know this is a “trap game,” but this isn’t your slightly older friend’s Vandy. There’s no Jay Cutler and … hell there’s no coach. The Commodores are giving up 9 more points per game than they are getting. That is just pathetic. I know that historically we have struggled with Vandy, but I think this year, given the importance, we have no reason to be looking past Nashville. Since beating Eastern Michigan on October 9th, Vandy has lost its last three games by a combined total of 113 to 21. Disgusting. Oh yea, one of those losses was to UGA who the Gators beat last weekend in the Cocktail Party!!!! My God we had such a good time. Perfect day for tailgating, so much food and drink, and my secret boxer-pocket worked flawlessly!! 10 airplane bottles of Jim Beam joined me at my seat…it was amazing. Oh yea, Gators cover…no problem.
FLORIDA 32
Vandie 7
EGM
Gators 23
Dores 10
ML
Gators 31
Dores 10
12:30pm
ML
Idaho State at Georgia (NL)
Whooo hoo Boise State…wait, your saying its not Boise, but Idaho State? I thought there was only one school in my beloved Gem State. Oh well, UGA needs to find a way to beat the Bengals from Pocatello, who are currently 1-7 and winless in the Big Sky conference. Hopefully they’ll be able to gather together their shattered dreams and make it to .500 with a W over the Bengals. I’d really rather talk about Boise State, who face a tough test this week, against the Rainbow Warriors, who are the last team to beat Boise in the regular season. Yea that’s right, my beloved Broncos have won 32 regular season games in a row! Getting back to Georgia, can we all relax about their assistant giving Chas the choke sign? It’s not that big a deal. Everyone needs to lighten up. It has gotten out of control, as we have now reached the point where basketball players need to make sure their trash-talk is not “insensitive.”
Big Skyy 3
Big Choke 43
CB
Sacrificial Bengals 6
Reeling Dawgs 54
EGM
PotaTOEs 13
Dawgs 51
EGM
Charleston Southern at Kentucky (NL)
There always seem to be a few of these matchups late in the season between SEC teams and D-IAA teams. Thank goodness for the 12th game! Watch Randall Cobb, he’s worth it.
Ft. Sumter 10
Ft. Knox 42
ML
Buccaneers 6
Cats 55
CB
Challston Suthun 5
Kiats 43
1:00pm
CB
Chattanooga at Auburn (NL)
Since there is no line here, and its clear who the winner will be, let me just take a second to say: this Auburn team reminds me of the 2007 Gator squad (minus the losses); Great offense, outstanding, fun to watch, but terrible defense. Of course they have two more rivalry games to go, and losing to Bama could destroy a stellar season! Here’s to that! I hate Auburn
Nooga 10
Ah-Barn 100
EGM
Chattanooga 3
Plainsmen 52
ML
FCS Mocs 3
Awbarn 60
3:30pm
ML
Alabama at LSU (+6.5)
Can the Mad Hatter do it again? It’s a battle of one-loss powerhouses in Death Valley. ‘Bama controls their own destiny on the road to Atlanta, but LSU can’t get there without some help. It sounds like a broken record, but to beat ‘Bama you must make them one dimensional, and then put heat on McElroy. Rinse. Repeat. Then the Tigers need 2 or 3 big plays, whether via defense, special teams, or the lucky horseshoe stuck in Les Miles’ ass. Typically Satan’s teams avoid these plays, but some crazy stuff can happen down on the Bayou.
Tide Rolling On 28
Luck Running Out 10
CB
EGM
Bama 13
LSU 10
ML
TCU at Utah (+6)
Game of the Week baby! Is this game at night? It should be. These two teams deserve prime time coverage. It’s a battle for Mountain West supremacy, and the Utes will be looking to avenge last years shellacking in Fort Worth. This matchup is what football is all about! Two highly disciplined teams with dynamic offenses and gutty defenses clash in Mormon-land. Look for the home underdogs to get off to a quick start. However, I think Gary Patterson and Andy Dalton will quickly recover and open up a comfortable lead in the second half.
Horned Frogs 34
Yoots 17
CB
Horny Toads 34
Utar 38
EGM
Frogs 21
Utes 17
7:00pm
CB
Louisiana-Lafayette at Ole Miss (-27)
In an effort to be a fair and balanced and informed journalist, I will personally be attending this game to see what Vaught-Hemingway has to offer at a night game! Very excited! Obviously I’m going to see my Bourbongirl, but this is going to be a nice treat! I love watching SEC games in which I don’t have to worry about Florida losing. Clearly the Rebs are gonna win this one. But I have no idea what Lou-La has to offer so I’m just gonna guess here. Looked like Ole Miss gave Arkansas a run for their money and dropped 30 plus on Auburn’s porous defense, so I doubt Houston’s boys will have trouble scoring, but…oh wait, the Ragin’ Cajuns have lost 4 straight and only have 2 Ws on the season. I think Ole Miss wins, but 27 is too much for my blood.
Cajuns 13
Rebears 39
EGM
LaLaf 6
Sellouts 51
ML
Lou-La 3
Gummi-Bears 44
EGM
Arkansas at South Carolina (-3)
Second best game of the week in the SEC…would be even better if these two teams knew how to hang on in the fourth quarter. Both the teams feature excitable QBs, one with a great beard, one with a great arm. The difference in the two teams is USC’s ability to play defense and run the ball. I fully expect Spurdog pound the rock with Lattimore as much as possible to limit Mallet’s chances. The cocks should come up with enough stops to get the win.
Arky 21
USC 25
ML
Hawgs 31
Cocks 27
CB
Arks 26
Cocks 27
8:00pm
EGM
Tennessee at Memphis (OFF)
The state of Tennessee may know how to vote properly but their football programs are way down. Memphis has never been a powerhouse but they used to be semi-competitive in CUSA. Tennessee was a perennial participant in the Outback/Citrus Bowl for a decade but has now resorted to touring WWII battlefields in early January. Not a good situation for either team. Earlier in the year, UAB should have beaten the Vols. Can the Tigers even the score for CUSA?
MSU 13
Vols 21
CB
UT 34
Memphis State 27
ML
Vols 23
Tigers 3
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