Bourbon Boys Pick The SEC Week XIV

Cuzzin’ Bailey

Well its been a totally fucked up and psychotic season, I guess the only thing remaining that could happen would be for Tennessee to win in a rout and Mizzou to beat the Okies by 70. That would pretty much sum up what kind of year we are having. The only problem is it looks like with a Missouri loss, the douche-bag Buckeyes will backdoor their way into the national title game, and not like last year where the Gators won a championship game and were voted in, but by sitting on their loser Ohio asses and doing jackshit. Losing to Illinois and then beating a pathetic Michigan team. Fucking congrats you mid-west losers. That is, of course, assumes that Mizzou loses, which I am doing. Anyways, good season I guess, I mean I could have done without the Auburn and UGA losses, but what are you gonna do. The other two BBoys are so happy that Houston Nutt is still in the SEC I think they are gonna go in their shorts. Hmm what else? Oh yea, Go Gators; til Bowl Season bitches…

El Gran Mono

Well its Championship Week but the champion of the best conference won’t be participating in the national title game. That makes sense. Perhaps the SEC should disband in order to give their teams a better shot at the big glass football. What a crock of shit! Lets get a playoff, ASAP. Oh yeah, the Royal Scepter of Picks is back in the hands of a true champion. Try harder next time CB and ML!

Malt Licker

Man….Champion ship week. Congrats to EGM for the big victory. I hope you enjoy it while freezing your stones off in ACC country. Tebow & Co. put a monumental whooping on Gino Hayes and the rest of the Noles.

Saturday, December 1, 2007

Tennessee vs LSU (-7.5), 4

CB

Two games to pick this week, one that I greatly lament picking b/c the Gators are not involved. We beat UT by 39 points earlier in the season which is nice to think about when they are playing for the Conference Title, but I’m not going to act like a sore loser. We had our shots, just like UGA, who the Tigers should be very thankful they aren’t playing in this game, but let’s be honest, UT is playing tough ball right now too. They got their act together late against Vandy which was huge in ruining day 1 of 2 of “it sucks to be a Bulldog fan”. On Day 2, they went like 4 OTs with UK and finally pulled out a winner, pissing off UGA fans everywhere and definitely making me laugh. Anyways, this game will come down to two factors: 1) will the multiple OT games that both teams went through last week throw in a fatigue factor and 2) will the recent loss, and the rumors about Les “the Joke” Miles leaving have any affect on the Tigers players. I definitely think that fatigue is gonna be an issue leading to some sloppy play early in the game, but the notion that LSU has really nothing to play for now, after controlling their own destiny as recent as last Friday will decide the game. UT has a new found resurgence and not only do I like them to beat the spread, I like them to win.

VULS 24

TIGRES 22

EGM

LSU blew their shot at the Nat’l Title last week. Ol’ Les Miles luck ran out and shitty playcalling got the better of them. If LSU could develop any of their stud players then they would be unstoppable. Luckily for the rest of the SEC and country, they cannot. As for this game, the Cajun defense has looked very human in recent weeks. Even Brent Schaeffer moved the ball on them successfully. Erik Ainge is pretty savvy and the Vol backs are underrated. I think they will move the ball on LSU and put up at least 4 TDs. As for LSU’s offense, aka slot screen, Hester counter, other RB sweep, Flynn draw. They are pretty much a waste of time and rely too much on mistackling and cutbacks. UT will give up points to this simplistic system but in the end I think Miles’ team will give up on him because they know he is gone. Let’s just hope Spurdog doesn’t end up there.

Sugar Bowl Vols 28

Cap One Bowl Tigers 24

ML

I don’t know how these teams will be able to rally the troops after emotionally draining games last week. Les S U saw their national title dreams shattered by a team whose coach just accepted a job with their divisional rival. That just shows how crazy a year it has been. The Hawgs exposed LSU’s vaunted defense and sent the Cajuns home to cry in their gumbo. Phat Phil is probably the most maligned coach to ever win the SEC East, but he managed to save his job (I think) by outlasting the Wildcats. Both these teams will be drained, but LSU has more talent and had an extra days rest.

Tired Vols 19

Tired Cajuns 29

Non-SEC GOTW

Oklahoma vs Missouri (+3), 8

CB

So with the Mountaineers locked into the National Championship game for all intents and purposes, it all comes down to this game to see who will advance to face West Vagina in the BCS champ game. If Mizzou wins, they will hold onto their lead and this will be the lamest sounding title game in a long time. As I said earlier, if the Sooners win the Big XII, then OSU will go and this will be the second lamest sounding title game in history. Those two reasons alone would be enough for me to warrant a playoff. I have heard from every tv/radio personality all week about this game. I heard that OU has no pass rush and that will play right into Mizzou’s hands with Daniel being a great runner etc, and how the Tigers were totally in the game they lost which was AT Norman, until THEY fucked up and gave the game the Sooner’s. I have also heard that OU is playing some great ball right now, and other than the fluke loss to an alright Colorado team and a loss AT Texas Tech (a place I challenge any team to go to and come out alive), they out match Missouri in most aspects. I guess the bottom line is that I really don’t give a shit. OU wins and we have to hear about the Buckeyes again, which is a nightmare; if Mizzou wins, then I will go to a movie the night of the national championship game (not really but since when I have I NOT used hyperbole to express my points?). Its been a wild year, I just hope if the Gators play Illinois (the “S” is silent) we smoke the fightin’ Zookers.

Oklahomo 29

Missukes 28

EGM

Mizzou showed the world that Kansas was not a top team last week. The Jayhawks looked like a deer in headlights and Chase Daniel looked like a Mack truck getting ready to turn them into roadkill. Oklahoma looked pedestrian against Tejas Tech after Bradford went down. He’s the key to their offense with his accuracy and sweet ass deep balls. Both teams should put up some points but I’m betting on Daniel to take the Heisman away from Tebow. I just feel karma is not with the Gators this year. Sorry Ohio State, enjoy Columbus, I hear its awesome this time of year…kind of like Lagos with snow.

Still feeling that concussion 28

The Heisman Chase is over 31

ML

Even if Chase Daniel throws for 600 yards and 12 TDs, he still should not win the Heisman. Those of you who feel differently should check out www.he15man.net to learn the truth. Don’t get me wrong, Daniel is very good, and I hear he has bagged all the stars of Laguna Beach (male and female). In fact, I hope he plays well against the Sooners subpar pass defense. If only to ensure that the Suckeyes get to go to the Rose Bowl. I know how much that means to them.

Sooners 21

Tigers 31