El Gran Mono
Football is upon us. Life is good. If you bet with me, then you made money. Damn close to 60% on the picks. That’s why I’m the champ!
Last year, the SEC embarrassed Ohio State AGAIN in the BCS Championship game to once again show that the Big Ten is weak. The SEC looks to be tough again this year with UGA, UF, LSU and
In other news, the fun loving Cuzzin’ Bailey has taken it upon himself to become the third steward of the courts among our jacked and tan SEC prognostication trifecta. Can he balance his schedule of copious Coors Lights drinking with Torts, Contracts and Property? Let the games begin in more than one way.
Malt Licker
Wow….is it finally here? Time flies when you’re living in the richest, oldest, whitest town on the west coast of
Cuzzin’ Bailey
Well another season of College Football is almost upon us! This year, while I am beyond excited about the Gators and closer to Gaines-burg than I’ve been since I graduated, I will also, ironically, be busier than I guess I have ever been. (Between you and me, I think I’ve studied more in the past week than I ever did at UF). Anyways, as I said I’m so jacked about the Gators this year. Everything this offseason has appeared to fall into place with the exception of losing Cornelius Ingram to a serious ca-nee injury. Meyer is excited about the secondary which is probably just coach-speak, but right now I’m ready to run on a little faith. As I said, exciting season coming up, and with a new format to the picks column, I welcome you all to be a part of it with the ‘Boys…
Thursday, August 28th, 2008
Vanderbilt @
CB
I plan on making it a habit of picking the ‘Doremats’ games this year, b/c I don’t think either one of the other Bourbon Boys has anywhere near the distain for this football team. They are perennially horrible (unless they have a diabetes stricken first rounder), and they aren’t even the best school in the conference academically. I say exile these posers and bring in a team that will at least care about winning and losing football games! Hell I’ll bet USF would love to show us what they got week in and week out. Come on Miami (OH), don’t make me eat my words!
Vandy 17
Fmr. Indian Name 22
EGM
Dores 24
Redskins 23
ML
Vandy 20
NC State @
EGM
Is there any bad blood between these "
NC State is an awful team. They used to be fairly competitive but Boobs Amato destroyed any semblance of prosperity.
Spurdog had the Cocks out to a good start last year but the SEC grinded them down to .500 after being ranked briefly in the Top 10. This season they should get better QB play from either Smelley and/or drunk-all-the-time Stephen Garcia. The real strength of the
This game should show the contrast between the mid-to-bottom level of the SEC versus the ACC.
Pack 10
Cocks 31
ML
SC 24
NC State 14
CB
Pack 14
Cock 28
Saturday, August 30th, 2008
ML
My only hope for this game is that the senior partner from my old firm attends it live and dies of a stroke, just like UGA. Another hope is that Mark “the Prick” Richt and his born-again persona is exposed for the sham it really is. One final hope is for injuries, lots of injuries.
Ga Sowf 6
Die Dawgs die! 44
EGM
Eagles 14
Dawgs 56
CB
GA SOUTH 20
UGly 60
ML
This game had some sex appeal before June Jones left
Gay-bows 13
Gators 45
EGM
Rainbow Warriors 17
Gators 66
CB
I didn’t get to pick this game but I just wanted to say GO GATORS. Man I wish June Jones was still at UH.
Rainbows 14
UF 45
Appalachian State at LSU (NL), 5
CB
I know what everyone is going to say before this game. They are going to bring up “the upset.” They are going to expect me to bring it up too! Well I will not dignify this column with a ridiculous statement like that. I mean sure,
UPSET? 21
NEAUX 50
EGM
Mountaineers 10
Bayou Bengals 42
ML
LSU 30
EGM
The Dogs of the West return a ton of starters on defense and at the skill positions. Considering they couldn’t stop the run and had a deplorable offense, this might not be a good thing. However, Croom has proven himself as a good coach after last season’s 8-5 record. After watching them in the first game against LSU, I wasn’t sure if they would score all year long. But LSU was Nat’l Championship caliber and they can make you look pretty bad when they are on.
The Lady Techsters somehow drew a home affair against an SEC team. I guess one bowl season doesn’t prevent opening your season in
Road Dogs 20
La Tech 10
ML
MSU 24
La Tech 13
CB
Slime of the ST 24
LA Tech 21
Louisiana-Monroe at
CB
I seem to have picked at least three of my least favorite teams in the conference this week. I definitely hate Aubarn like any normal person outside of the
La-MON-roe 13
AWBURN 42
EGM
Warhawks 13
Plainsmen 35
ML
LaMo 3
Auburn 31
Western Illinois at
ML
Man…If were a Hog I’d be pissed, but then again, I am not a toothless redneck. These are the same toothless rednecks that ran out the greatest coach named after a city in
Leathernecks 9
Redderneck 31
EGM
Fighting Leathernecks 10
Hawgs 38
CB
Weastern Illinoiss a little (3)
Arkansawr a lot (49)
ML
Big Ed left the cupboard stocked with loads of talent, and former Gator commit Jevon “no really I’m white” Sneed could be the Rebs first competent QB since Eli. Memfrica has 15 returning starters and needs a decent year to help their fans forget they choked away the title in Hoops. Do they really have fans? I don’t know. I sort of get a USF vibe from them. This game is always close, and it will be this year.
Ghetto Tigazzz 20
“Classy” Rebs 27
EGM
Tigers 17
Rebs 21
CB
Memphrika 17
REBs 31
EGM
Expectations are a bitch. Tommy Bowden knows this and has NEVER lived up to any of them. Please tell me how he is still coaching at Clemzon after blowing that game against BC last year. I understand that Matt “really overrated” Ryan was playing but seriously BC was terrible. The rest of the ACC wasn’t much better and they still couldn’t even make it to the championship game.
Bama wasn’t much better last year. They were loaded at the skill positions yet lost to some truly pathetic teams. Saban needs to flush some of Mike Shula’s shit out, including JPW, otherwise they aren’t going anywhere this year. I look for Bama to attempt to run the ball heavily; however, Tommy doesn’t coach defense so they are actually decent and should stop them.
Can JPW make the magic happen? I sincerely doubt it. Clemzon fans, get ready for the expectations to double and prepare yeself for a loss to a team like. . .
Bamer 17
Clemzon 21
ML
Bama 24
Clemson 27
CB
Yellow Hamma 23
Clemzin 21
Sunday, August 31st, 2008
CB
Nice way to represent the Conference Wildcats. Start out as road dogs to your in state rival? Ridiculous. I guess losing Andre “Rattled” Woodson is enough for the entire country to fall off the
Back to Kensucky 18
Louahvuhl 22
EGM
Cats 20
Cards 24
ML
September 1st, 2008
EGM
UCLA looks awful on paper. Their defense is atrocious and they couldn’t even rack up yards in the Pac-10. I’m not a Pac-10 hater like some people, but the conference is not known for wicked defense.
What I do know,
Vols 31
Bruins 17
ML
UT 24
UCLA 20
CB
Nasty
NewCla 25
