Bourbon Boys Pick The SEC 2011 - Week IV

Cuzzin Bailey
Is it game week? I mean seriously, I haven’t heard one peep about the game. Albeit I have had other things on my mind, but it just doesn’t feel like a game week. This all could be solved if we were joining a good group of Gators who are actually making the trek to Lexington this weekend, but alas we are not. However, when those folks get there, they are in for a treat. Lexington is an awesome city located in a beautiful part of the Bluegrass State. Great folks, great nightlife and Commonwealth Stadium is a very nice SEC venue to check off your list. All that being said, like most Gators, all I think about when this game comes up is all the cheering that went on when Tebow went down back in 09. It wasn’t just the yokels at the game either. I think for about 15 minutes, Facebook got more action than a UK sorority girl at a bourbon drinking contest. Well we got through that, and we’re back for more. Wow, I am about as thrilled with this opening as I am about adding A&M and Mizzou to the SEC. Could we pick teams that were less “meh”? I doubt it. I actually wish we were getting FSU instead of either one of these teams. But we all know that the Florida State is a basketball school, so that will never happen. UGH, I hope the Gators are more psyched than I am this week…Anyways, as you could notice on your own, we are graced with the presence of our first Guest Bourbon Boy in a few years, the Ben Hill Griffin Bootlegger will fill you all with his fresh POVs and hot knowledge! And as always, don’t be afraid to follow me on twitter, I guarantee a followback! www.twitter.com/cuzzinbailey


El Gran Mono
I’m sure all of readers can feel it…the world is back in proper alignment and yours truly has a two game lead in the picks. The SEC, on the other hand, will soon be out of alignment as teams start/continue to fall short of their expectations. Last week, Auburn followed Georgia along the path to the Liberty Bowl. Could South Carolina be next?

As for the most exciting game of the week, that honor falls on LSU-WVa. Has there ever been a bigger collection of BALs over 0.20 in the history of the world (excluding Tuesday nights in random Russian cities)? If Les Miles showed up in full battle armor I would not be surprised at all.

Brew of the week: Victory Pilsner (full flavored but still light)


Malt Licker
Did you hear that thud Saturday night? That was the sound of my handicapping skills crashing to earth. Maybe you shouldn’t just blindly follow your leaders. It’s something to think about. We learned a little bit more about our Gators. We know that Rainey and Demps need help or they will not make it through September. We know that we have no faith in the vertical passing game (Sound familiar). We know that our linebackers are really fast, but have terrible hands, and we learned that our young secondary can stay close to receivers, but sometimes a little too close. Fortunately, as the Zooker says, the defensive stuff is correctable. Unfortunately, Johnny B’s quarterbacking is not. It should not matter this week. Our Gators head to Lexington to take on a reeling Wildcats squad. A good chunk of the Bourbon Boys subscribers will be in attendance. Have a sip, or ten, of Four Roses for me!


Ben Hill Griffin Bootlegger
Well here we are once again with a guest appearance by yours truly the Ben Hill Griffin Bootlegger. I will apparently be covering the state of Mississippi for this week of college football for the Bourbon Boys. First of all would like to start by thanking CB, EGM, and ML for allowing the honor in participating in this week’s Bourbon Boys. Last week we saw that “being back” did not really apply to the Noles and I cannot help but hope it has something to do with the grotesque suck-fest that Gameday had on about Crapallahassee.

The Gators domination of the Tennessee Volunteers continues for the 7th year in a row. This is especially nice considering that Mrs. BHGB’s entire family graduated from Knoxville, so any victory versus the InVols is nice for bragging rights around the up-coming holidays. This week JB3 and the Chris “Time to Die” Rainey take their show on the road to Lexington to take on the Rambunctious Kitties.

As for my picks I have selected a beer for each of the teams and will be picking the team with the better beer to be the winner. So I will be upstaging El Gran Mono’s lame one beer pick and giving you 4. SUCK IT EGM. I was told to mention that I was stuck in traffic heading to Tampa to try and find some of the beers I had selected for this week. I drove over an hour an attempt to find the only beer brewed in Mississippi but fell as short as our good friend, @joemorganfan. I don’t think anyone has ever done this much prep work for Bourbon Boys. And be sure to follow me on twitter: www.twitter.com/shartling27

Side note, UFC picks for this weekend Koshcheck over Hughes and the money maker of the weekend Rampage over Jones at +375


12:30pm
Georgia at Ole Miss (+9.5)
BHGB
The so far lackluster Dawg’s come into the city of “no selling cold beer” to face the R#bels, I am not sure if I can use the R word in a public forum. Mark Richt stays his execution with a win last week over the powerhouse known as Coastal Carolina and look for the Dawgs to continue by rolling over the Rebel$. This should and will be a high scoring game with very little to no defense being played on this day in the entire state of Mississippi.

My pick could have easy been swayed to the side of the Reb’s if Mrs. Cuzzin Bailey’s dad would have let us fire that cannon when we were in Oxford. It’s not like El Gran Mono and I have had any problems with explosives before, have we?

Terrapin Beer Company - Athens, GA - Hopsectioner - (7.3%) - golden crisp IPA that has the best label ever

Lazy Magnolia - Kiln, MS - Southern Pecan Nut Brown Ale - really smooth brown ale with a nutty taste with little after taste ....awesome

Pups - 35
Rebels - 21

CB
UGA 24
Ole Miss 17

EGM
UGA 41
Black Bears 9

ML
Jawja 30
Ole Piss 10


3:30pm

Arkansas at Alabama (-11.5)
EGM
This is certainly the best “all SEC” game of the week. Arkansas continues to be an offensive juggernaut despite the loss of their line sniffing, right-arm life support system (otherwise known as Ryan Mallet). However, Arkansas hasn’t played a team 1/10th as good as Bama. The Tide have not struggled but they certainly haven’t showed much offensive prowess. It’s really hard to tell how this game is going to break since either team has yet to be tested. When in doubt, I will go with Nick Saban and his minions (but not by 11.5).

Hogs 20
Bama 21

ML
‘Bama 24
‘kansas 14

BHGB
Tide31
Ark of the Kansas 17

CB
Arky 16
BAMA 33


FSU at Clemson (-2.5)
ML
The Noles are back baby!!! Back out of the top 10! At the risk of saying something positive, I was mildly impressed with their defense. They really had Bowden Field at Taxpayer-Subsidized Stadium rocking and rolling. The Nole$ are more banged up than the sisters of ∆∆∆, and may only have 4 scholarship WRs available. The big question mark is EJ Manuel, who impersonated Colt McCoy and Jay Cutler to sit out most of the second half against OU. Last week Clemzin rallied from a 14 point deficit to end Auburn’s winning streak and position themselves in the top 25. I expect this game to be nip and tuck, and it may depend on the skills of F$U’s latest, greatest, douchebag PK.

Clemzin 24
Criminoles 23

BHGB
Back at it 28
We love a rock 24

CB
Semino le is Creek for Runaway 23
More Tigers 24

EGM
Noles 24
Tigers 21


7:00pm

Florida at Kentucky (+19.5)
CB
Look, there are two ways of looking at this game. One way is that the Gators are unproven, we “barely” beat UT (by 10) at home and now without the hype this week, our young team will fall victim to the oldest trick in the book, underestimating your opponent and playing down to their level. That is the stupid way of looking at this game. Our players are young, and somewhat inexperienced when it comes to SEC road atmospheres, but this isn’t exactly like playing at Bryant-Denny at night (saw how that went last year). This is like playing the West Canaan Coyotes at night. If that were the case, I would see us absolutely hammering Jonny ‘Mox’ Moxon into the ground every chance we’d get. Lance Harbor would be happy he was pussin’ it up on the sidelines after he saw how mangled Mox’s face looked after the first half. As much of a free mind that Julie Harbor (Mox’s GF) has, it wouldn’t be enough for her to overlook how deformed Jonny looked after the game. Yea, its so bad, that Charlie Tweeder would have to start taking snaps. Even though he would fight Coach Kilmer’s demands to play hurt and not drug girls to fool around with them, Tweeder is just gonna go on being Tweeder. That’s gonna land him in jail someday. But back to reality, UF’s run defense is going to absolutely embarrass UK this weekend. Shutting down the run is going to be the key for UF’s defensive backs to regaining some of their confidence in the interception department. If they can hold on, look for the Gators secondary to more than double their INT total for the year, maintaining a stranglehold on defense and on this series. UF is favored by 19.5, that is tempting…

FLORIDA 34
Catzz 10

EGM
Gators 38
KY 7

ML
Gators 31
Kats 7

BHGB
Gators 35
Pussies 10


Vanderbilt at South Carolina (-16)
CB
Now this is tricky. Vanderbilt is off to its best start since winning its first 5 games in 2008, and South Carolina has absolutely looked beatable. Of course, when does USC(e) ever NOT look beatable? Even last year it wasn’t like they dominated EVERY conference opponent they faced. Hell, they lost 4 total SEC games! (it was a down year for the SEC East). Put is this way, last season, UK beat the Cocks by 3 at home but even a blind squirrel finds a nut. That win was sammiched in between FIVE losses for Kentucky. What it means is that if there’s one axiom in this division its that these teams have gone from knowing their place in the universe to being about as inconsistent as the pre-Mussolini railway system. I really doubt that Vandy “is back” or anything that absurd. If they had a gimmick like Navy has the option, I would like them to cover the 16, but just stock average offensive performances so far against over matched (or underprepared) teams doesn’t make me quiver in my boots. But screw it…go ‘Dores, lose by less than 16!

Nerds 17
Cocks 30

EGM
Dores 17
Cocks 24

ML
Vandy 17
SC 30

BHGB
Game mens-genitals 21
Dorkasaurus Rexs 17


Florida Atlantic at Auburn (OFF)
EGM
And the streak is over for the Plainsmen. I thought they had enough offense to overcome their dreadful defense but they proved me wrong last week. Good thing for them that FAU plays neither offense nor defense. The rest of Auburn’s schedule is brutal so they better enjoy themselves during this game.

Owls 10
Eagles 41

ML
Auburn 45
FAU 10

BHGB
Tigers / war eagles / plainsmen / assholes 57.5
In need of $ 2

CB
FAU 2
Aubarn 66


Louisiana Tech at Mississippi State (-20)
BHGB
Welcome to Starkville, some place that has even more alcoholic laws then Oxford. I feel so bad for my new friends from Mississippi that like high octane beer, but some changes appear to be up and coming. But once again this is a game that will not represent a good example of SEC defensive football. Look for Danny Boy Mullen to show up with an offensive game plan that will show us something we have seen before and will certainly see again. I have great inside information on this one that the main stream media doesn’t have or know. If you can still get money on this one put at least 50% of your net worth on the Bulldogs to win this one. AS EGM says, this is Thor’s hammer lock. If you don’t win I will cover your losses.

Abita - Abita Springs, LA - Abbey Ale (8%) - a nice Dubbel that is rich amber color with a smooth hint of hops with a creamy finish

Laughing Dog Brewery - Ponderay, ID - Dozilla Black IPA (6.9%) - smooth IPA with a strong dark malt accent with a very little taste of hops until the end

Bulldogs by Dan Mullen - 42
Bulldogs by not Dan Mullen - 21

CB
La-Tek 6
Miss Stizzle 36

EGM
Techsters 10
Miss State 38

ML
MSU 40
La Tech 10


8:00pm

LSU at West Virginia (+5.5)
ML
I give kudos to the Mad Hatter and the Bayou Bengals for actually going on the road into a hostile environment for a non-conference game. The Couch Burners are enjoying their first year under new coach and offensive guru Dana Holgorsen. For an in-depth/nerdy look at what these two teams like to do, check out this article on Grantland.com. I cannot approach that type of analysis, so I’ll rip on each team’s fan base. I know WVU fans are exceptionally cocky for a team that has never won anything and plays in a second-class conference. I know LSU’s fans are scary. This clash of culture, especially with an 8pm kickoff, may lead to more fights per capita than any other matchup. No one will be able to understand what the other is saying, so everyone will assume (correctly) that every utterance is an insult. If we are lucky, the only conflagration will involve a few chaise lounges from IKEA.

LSU 27
WVU 13

BHGB
BAYOU rednecks 27
Mountain rednecks 24

CB
Geaux Tigres 27
Burn That Couch 20

EGM
Bayou Bengals 24
Mountaineers 17


Tennessee is off this week. Great way to go into a bye week: getting your stuff handed to you by your hated rival who is always much, much better than you and has won more lately.