Talk about a week to celebrate. First the Gators unload on UT and shut their bitch-asses down, and then we learn that there must have been a mistake, and they said that El Gran Mono passed his bar exam! I’m kidding of course, there was no mistake, he must have blown who ever was in charge. Good job duder, I’m sure with a crew like us, we’re all gonna need a good (cheap) lawyer on retainer. Much to the chagrin of most bar owners in our nation’s Capitol, Cuzzin’ Bailey didn’t go psycho at the bars. Maybe I’ve turned over a new leaf of sobriety (as I type with a hangover). Maybe not, but who needs to blackout during a Gator game and wake up in strange unfamiliar place anyways?? Not me that’s who! This week the Best Team/School in the country travels to the land of blond hotties and redneck losers…
As my brother said after the big Gator W, “All is right in the Universe.” That’s right, Phat Phil and the Gay Vol Navy are looking up at the Gators,
El Gran Mono
Holy shit there were some good games last week.
Flowers for Algernon…. Huh? 34
Nutt’s boys were totally whitewashed by SC. I told all bettors to lay the lumber against
Skewered Pork 10
Looking ahead??? 20
Pork Sammich 10
No cement boots for Shula 35
Western Kentucky at
The Hilltoppers or whatever come to the home of the Plainsmen. What the hell is that anyway, just another word for Frattie? Lord knows they have a shit load of them there. This is fucking gay. Western
Nice game….Just because you schedule a moderate team like Ga Tech early, doesn’t mean you should play Bumfuck U with your other games. Tuberville should be ashamed of himself. However, I thank him very much for my new Cadillac.
In the hills, the Hilltoppers drink bourbon, play banjos and make the NCAA Tourney every other year. On the plain, the Plainsmen have temperance vigils, exchange Eddie Bauer catalogs and toilet paper defenseless trees.
Shitty drunk 7
Shitty pompoms 35
UF BABY! 45
It was a painful victory against the Vols, as we lost Bubba and Ray-Ray. I feel better about replacing Bubba than I do Ray-Ray, as Joe Cohen has gone his whole Gator career without making a play. Hopefully that will change this week against Kensucky and their mongoloid coach Rich Brooks. I wouldn’t hire this guy to coach women’s flag football. Hopefully, the spread offense will start to look like an actual offense, but until it does, I’ll take Kentucky plus 3 TDs.
Need to kick offense into gear 31
Tubby porks his wife in the rear 13
Urban Fucking Meyer 45
Tour de shit 7
It’s clear that
Old man River 22
They took our Lassos 17
They took our Jobs 27
The Cowboys wrangled the Rebs last year in
Pretty good 28
Pretty bad 17
Susceptible to a Huge Wooden Cock 13
Don’t worry baby, it’s not as big as it seems 23
I’d take Angelina 6
Where’s Demetric Summers? 24
Somebody must have a sense of humor. Trojans vs. Cocks. Even a grandmother could snicker at that. Both teams are 1-2 but one of them doesn’t have Spurdog, even if he doesn’t have any talent.
Defective Trojans 17
Happy Cocks 35
Well unfortunately I was right about last week. Vandie did come through and beat Ole’ Miss and now they go on a two week tear of total craptacular teams. My Gaad, Vandee has a (good) chance of going 5 and 0. I recently purchased a bombshelter fearing that this is a sign of the end of the world, and I placed a lifetimes supply of booze in it…so that should last at least a few days. Richmond Spiders huh? … I knew some skank that went there, I love her…
Man o’ man, maybe it is Armageddon. Not only is Vandy 3-0, they are also favored to go 4-0. Jay Cutler actually looks like the real deal, and may in fact be the best quarterback in the conference. Meanwhile, the Spiders will always be remembered for a first round upset over
Who you callin’ Doremat? 28
Vandy just can’t be stopped. The world must be quaking after seeing their incredible wins against
Inland Boat Captains 28
Wow, LSU gets to play a game at home. I sure as hell wouldn’t want to be the first to play them at
We lost last week cause our coach is a big fatass 17
We lost our home field for a week 22
Rita is moving this game back to Monday night, and we all know what that means…more grubbing time for Phat Phil!!! I hear he loves Crawdads. Although the Vol offense was totally shut down by our Gators, Phil seems to have chosen the Mormon over Balding Cro-Magnon Junior. We’ll see how that works out against a Tiger defense that didn’t fare well against ASU’s passing attack. Jar Jar came of age, but I was troubled by Miles refusal to feature Joseph Addai. If he does so, the Bayou Bengals will come out on top.
LSU – Modern American word for “Shithole” 27
The Vols are suddenly lacking hype after getting Urbanated last week. Luckily they are heading into a place where the home team doesn’t win as much as advertised. JarJar may have turned the corner towards non-crappiness against ASU but they are a PAC-10 team and play no defense. I really like the Vols chances if they can force LSU to pass but the problem is they have to stop Joseph Addai first. My guess is Les Miles will want to distribute the carries rather than give the ball to the best back in the SEC.
Smoky eats shit 28
Red Stick blues 24
It’s the Dawg’s with the pressed khakis versus those without. UGA appears to be pretty decent this year, which is more than I can say about
Mess Stizzle 12
Wow…the battle of the bulldogs. If I were in charge of this rivalry I’d make sure the losing dog was raped by the winning dog. Now that would be fun. When will UGA have to play a real team? That is the question. The Shocker is just bad enough to make this a potentially close game. Unfortunately Ron Zook is coaching in the Big 10, so it won’t be.
Uggggh-A Eat Shiiiite 31
Get the corn hole ready “Bully” 13
I would rather watch the two bulldawg mascots fight than watch this game. I’m sure the Shocker will be orgasmic against another shitty defense. Sly Croom is black coach in the SEC.
Flannel Wearing Dawgs 10
No means yes?? 14
Just say NO, I mean YES 20
It should be a capacity crowd on hand at this game…oh wait….it isn’t being played at a high school, well then, it might be half full.
Buffs like girls in the Buff 17
I’m sure the local idiots will be lined up for the home opener. Come to think of it, they’ve already given up and put the shirts in dry storage. Kyle Wright looked a little shakier than expected against a very average Clemson defense but if the Cokehead offense line doesn’t step up he won’t be playing at all very soon.
Gary Barnett hates women 9
“I think its your cocaine man…” 27
FSU – OFF
Thank God we don’t have to suffer the pain of watching FSUs offense this year… its just too disturbing to take 3 weeks in a row.
No doubt Drew Weatherford will be allowed extra leeway from the law now that he looks like a quarterback.
I’m sure the local authorities will have their hands full with Fagg & Co.
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Standings W L %
Cuzzin Bailey 23 7 77
Malt Licker 22 8 73
El Gran Mono 22 8 73