El Gran Mono
It has been a long time since I have been this apathetic about college football. The Gators have a bye week and the league championship game is all but set. UGA-LSU, who would have guessed. I figured Erik Ainge would have 40 TD’s by now but that’s just the Sporting News talking.
Well I can’t say that I’m not disappointed after last weeks “game.” It felt pretty weird to see Spur-dawg on the other side of the field as the Gators, but his quote after the game that “They don’t own our asses anymore,” certainly gave me some closure. Anyways, I have had enough of the “Spurrier” discussion… its getting a bit old. The Gators are off this week, which is good. Its time they got remotely healthy and this and that. Oh yea, I almost forgot to talk about
This week, depression had seriously set in as the Ol’ Ball Coach dashed any chances the Gators had at an SEC Title. Then, of course,
It’s my third year as a guest bourbon boy and this has by far been my favorite. Bama finally had a good season and if it wasn’t for stupid LSU they would be playing for the national championship. Well, they should be playing for the National Championship, but once again the BCS will screw the SEC. The SEC is by far the best conference on this green planet, but they just can’t seem to recognize that.
This has been another good year of SEC football with tons of games going down to the wire. I would like to give props to Cuzzin Bailey for leading the Bourbon Boys on the wave of several unpopular Bama picks.
Why do they still call this game the Iron Bowl (it’s not played in
Lovers of Coors Cutter 24
Lovers of Dead Coaches 12
The Iron Bowl…..I would first like to welcome our guest BBoy of the week…whats his name…that kid from Ala-fucking-bama….who I lost 20 bones to earlier this year when the Crimzin Tide rolled (pardon the pun) over the Gators. Come to think of it, I was there too! Maybe I am bad luck…oh that’s rubbish…anyways, I stupidly picked Bama to win last week against the Tigers …and I don’t think I can make that mistake twice in a row. Auburn looked pretty awesome against UGA and Brodie “God I miss Prothro” Croyle, has pretty much done the best disappearing act since David Copperfield’s career after Claudia Schiffer dumped him. I wonder if Brodie was recently dissed by some broad. That would certainly explain him playing like a total beyatch. The ‘Burn is on the rise and if it weren’t for their stumble against LSU they wouldn’t need to pray for a miracle in one or both of the Bayou Bengals next two games. I think that, while this is a huge rivalry, the Tide just don’t have the magic they had earlier this season and Aubarn will take advantage of the lack of offense on the other side….sorry to our guest…
Plain front Khakis 24
Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrn Bowl. Whooooooooooooo hooooooooooooo…..Yall can’t come into jerrdon hare stadium with dat floppy haaared boy playin’ QB and no dadgum receivuhs tah ‘fro too. We gonna get buck willlllld and have lahk two o’ three beerz and fuck yo’ sheeeet up.
BCS Bound last week, Comp USA Bowl bound this week 10
Roll Tide! With a bunch of no-name players and one frat-mop-haired QB, the Tide barely squeezed by everyone (almost) in good ole
Aside from totally manhandling
Aw-brin - 8
Ala-fucking-bama - 13
Any game played in
Nutt in your eye 19
Why is it that every
The Red-est Team in the South 20
God I love
Dawg Awful 13
Hawg Not as Awful 21
Who really wins in this match-up? There are no winners here. None. Not Arkansaw or it’s flailing education program. Not Missississippippi or its flailing education program. Nobody watching wins this game. Nobody wins here except the long haired frat guys taking the southern gals to the game.
Arkansaw - 17
The Shocker just couldn’t dig deep enough last week. Luckily he gets another shot at the title this week against an eternally rebuilding KY squad.
Takin it up the butt 10
Shocker’s last game at home 28
Just another fire hydrant in UGA’s way 15
These dawgs are gonna hump these cats’ leg 35
I wonder if
Hoops Springs Eternal 6
Classless Canines 24
What’s happening down in Gawgia? Bubba Sparxx is singing pop music? Is the Shocker back? If he isn’t will the networks blow his back-up for two hours before the game? Unless a basketball game breaks out at halftime, I think UGA and the dawgs have this one locked down.
It’s gettin ugly - your dreams of being a Dawg and gets slaughtered on nat’l TV – 15
Is it Basketball Season Yet? - 8
LSU at Ole Miss
Yikes. LSU could possibly score 70 in this game.
Bayou trash 55
Rebel trash 7
What do I think about this game? What am I, some dude who picks college football games for a semi-pro news letter? Oh right… I’ll get right on it… This game has history…you know what, I actually did some research about this game, haha can you believe it? I will actually know what I’m talking about for the first time in 4 years … And you know what I’m doing with said knowledge? Out the fucking window kids….LSU is a pretty good team …in the driver’s seat to win the West cause all they have to do is knock off two totally pathetic losers in the next two weeks … the average point differential in the past 3 meetings between these two schools has been 2.3 points … I guess Ole Miss played Bama hard, and it was a tight game for LSU, but I just have a feeling that the Tigers are too much for the Rebels … I wonder if those Racists are prejudiced against animals … probably …
We’re staying in
Do you think Ole Miss wishes they hadn’t canned Cutciffe? Several Rebels boosters have been seen trying to get clumps of hair and blood samples from the Manning’s in an attempt to clone another QB. Meanwhile LSU ended the Bama dream with a stunning completion from Jar Jar in OT. I think this was a competitive/classic game back in 1959 or something, I remember it from a “Great Games” on EA Sports. I wasn’t interested enough to play that “great game,” and I’m not interested enough to watch this “shit game.” Cheers!
R Kelly’s favorite school – Ole Piss 2
Too bad Katrina didn’t go far enough West. Stupid LSU and some obnoxious LSU sorostitutes at the bar last week almost ruined my weekend. LSU totally choked against
LS f*ck U – 14
Old Piss – 8
Best game of the week. Spurdog gets a shot at a Bowden and Tommy doesn’t need to win anymore after Daddy secured him another contract last week. I just can’t imagine Spurdog getting outcoached in this one.
You know Spurdog can Cockwalk with the best of them 31
Another average season for Tommy 17
The gamblers have Clemzin as favorites as I write this. Personally, until these Tigers beat FSU last week, I had totally forgotten about them. The way they played hard against
Puff Puff lose 18
Benedict Arnold Couldn’t have planned last week any better 20
Yea…the Ol’ Ball Coach is back, and it will be scary when he has a quarterback who can actually throw. I heard some jackass say that Charlie Whitehurst might be the best NFL prospect at QB. That might be true…if he weren’t a complete idiot. Can Spurrier break the Bowden curse???
You wish I were Jeff 23
“Didn’t coach ‘em up enough” 17
Tommy Bowden quickly realizes that beating your senile father does NOT make you a good football coach. I wonder if they will go all Bloods and Crips again this year before the game.
CRIPS – 10
S.C. Bloods - 24
Does Vandy finally beat UT? The answer is most certainly YES! The butt sniffing Vols have no secondary and Jay Cutler finna sop them up like a biscut.
Calculator toting jerks 30
Fulmer buyout? 18
HAHA I heard this joke a few weeks ago… this is called the Networking bowl … cause the students from Vandy are always anxious to meet the kids that will be working for them in the future .. isn’t that hilarious? …. Actually its quite sad, Vandy kids are such dorks… Fulmer avoided a loss-induced heart attack last week against Memphis….but that’s not to say that he is in the clear….he does weigh 400 pounds and his pencils are made of beef jerky … Vandy got hammered by Kentucky of all teams last week … I don’t know what to say… I’m in shock …
Heartless douchebags 25
25 lb Heart 27
I was so distraught about the UF loss that I pretty much ignored college football all week, and it wasn’t until today that I looked up the UT score that I realized how close their game was against
What’s the local cuisine in
The storyline of the day will be that
We’re smarter than you – 24
SUCK IT FAT PHIL YOU FAT BASTARD! - 13
Urban Meyer meet Steve Spurrier…
Wow. Is this how it feels when your best friend sleeps with your girlfriend?
Good thing we are playing a game this week to take our mind off losing to Spurrier – oh wait….nevermind.
This week, Urban Meyer's vaunted offense clicks on all cylinders and they will lose again. I read a lot of awful garbage from the Bourbon Boys the week of the Alabama- Florida game; I also heard some comments about Prothro after the game. WAY TO TAKE BACK THE SWAMP! There hasn’t been this much online bitching in the GatorZone since Bama beat you twice in one season.
Off - 14
Georgia Tech at
Is Ball graduating? 10
Nasty fucking D 20
Mee-ami pendejo 28
As Kyle Munzenrieder,
Ugly Engineering Girls sleeping with athletes Pi
Latinas and Skanks sleeping with athletes 34
I hope Ga. Tech can pull some sort of miracle here. I really hate
Gawgia Tech – 21
The U - 17
FSU – OFF
Good thing most of the players are to hurt to commit crimes.
I’m drawing a blank here… I mean this team just lost to Clemson…I’ll bet there were record sales of Weed in both cities.
Again….What does Jeff Bowden have to do to get canned?
Wow – what a horrible season for FSU. After single handedly shutting down
FSU – 6
OFF – 13
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Standings W L %
Cuzzin Bailey 69 22 76
El Gran Mono 69 22 76
Malt Licker 64 27 70