Cuzzin’ Bailey
Here we are at the end of Meyer’s inaugural season. I can't say its exactly what I expected, but I can formulate a few conclusions I have come to at the conclusion of the year. 1) Spurrier showed that his own ego means more to him than the Gators. I have heard that he was willing to come back but the UF prez insisted that he interview. That pissed Steve off so much he went to the USC Gamecocks. "Don't worry about it" said friends of the Cuzz, "South
Malt Licker
For those of you that keep up with the blog, you have been informed that I am totally out of the picks race. So I have decided to stop being rational, and pick these games from the perspective of a radical liberal environmentalist. This should be fun.
Happy Avian Mass Murder day!!!! I hope all you capitalist bastards enjoy your time stuffing yourselves with the charred remains of your fellow members of the animal world. I have always been offended by a holiday that celebrates the gluttonous side of humanity. How can you possibly enjoy stuffing your faces with turkey, mashed potatoes, and cranberries, when children all over the world are starving? Holidays like these are why we deserve to be attacked. Don’t even get me started on Christmas……
El Gran Mono
Well, we are almost finished with the college football regular season and four out of preseason top five are still there. THE U found out that beating an overrated Va Tech team didn’t make their offense any better than it has been all season. All I can hope for on this Thankgiving week is another victory over the despised Noles and a Bourbon Boys Picks Championship.
CB
This is LSU’s chance to seal the deal. I really have to hand it to them. They may not have looked like the best team around, and to be honest they played like total shitheads most times, but they managed to totally rebound from the psychotic Tennessee nightmare and beat three pretty quality teams in UF, Auburn and Bama. Like I said with this win they can clinch the West and probably lose to UGA next week...
West Champs 33
ML
See addendum
EGM
This is one of the biggest mismatches of the year. LSU is on fire of late and Addai is still only getting 15 carries a game. Les Miles is taking full advantage of the incredible talent that Saban amassed. As for the game…
Ozark hicks 10
Bayou hicks 27
CB
Its incredible how 5 minutes of smack talk can rejuvenate this rivalry in me. I was pretty much just on auto pilot this week, biding time until Thanksgiving, not worrying about this game coming off the numbing experience of Columbia, SC. Then I had a nice normal conversation with a friend of mine who supports the Noles and his jackass attitude towards his shithead QB and their cheaterrific behavior (see Bowden's infamous quote about teaching his kids to hit through the echo of the whistle). This has gotten me all sorts of fired up. I have had a rekindling of my hatred to the Criminoles and I can't wait to get up there and witness a huge win! Go Gators!
Fucking Shitty University 19
THE
ML
Now if this were a battle of nature, I’d easily pick the Seminoles. For the Indians were one with nature, and every decision they made enhanced the natural world to a degree unfathomable to the scandalous white man. However, this proud nation has been hijacked with corporate dollars to acquiesce and allow a state institution to mock their heritage. What an outrage! Meanwhile, the gators are an indigenous predator to the
Bastardizing Native Americans won’t get you far with me 13
CHOMP! Those politically incorrect peons 24
EGM
This is the week the Gators invite the scumbags from Tally to enjoy a real college town. We allow them to drink in our bars and step foot on our campus. All we ask in return is a victory and the ability to stare at their hot, idiotic coeds. The Gators have underachieved all season long much like the Noles. The advantage for the Gators is the Swamp. The offense seems to click a little better in college football’s best venue. Drew Weatherford is absolutely terrible and the Noles defense is beat up. Chris Leak begins his Alex Smith impersonation starting on Saturday…
Too dumb to get in UF 10
Smarter enough to take advantage of your women 31
CB
Look, this game is in the south, one of the contenders is from the SEC, but still this seems about as important as the "Civil War" (
Bitches 23
Crackheads 20
ML
The Bulldogs v. the Evil Engineers. People might think the Yellow Jackets are named after the insect, but those engineers are clever. The Yellow Jackets are code name for the radiation suits that everyone will have to wear once all of our nuclear power plants meltdown. Of course only the very rich will be able to afford these suits. Even though the Bulldog seems like a harmless creature, it has been adopted by the English as a symbol, and the English Empire could be as bad or worse than the Amerikan Empire today. They spread their “culture” and “civilized” all they came in contact with. The fact that they used their mighty Navy to help shut down the slave trade is another example of ethnocentric hypocrisy. This is a tough choice, but I’m going with the Bulldogs and their “blacker” quarterback.
Limey Canines 13
Poisoning the world 10
EGM
The most cracktastic QB matchup in college football history. Reggie Ball and The Shocker can run and throw picks with the best of the them but luckily they have the defenses behind them to keep the game close. Tech’s defense made the Cokeheads look terrible but UGA has a much better offensive line and a more effective running game. The real question is whether the Tech players will be openly selling grass to the UGA students during the game…
I love khakis and blunts 21
I love Calculus and slanging sacks 17
CB
Phat Phil and the Vols have screwed me for the last time. I am fully under the impression that they have given up and they have zero heart. That being said, they should have more talent but when has that stopped them from sucking before? Would it be totally ridiculous to pick
In need of Volunteers 24
Let's hope for a basketball score 25
ML
This is easy. Volunteers? What exactly were they volunteering for? An army that sought to maintain slavery, that’s what. Slam dunk!
Fat Racist Army Recruits 10
Pretty little kitties 12
EGM
The
No bowl smorgasbord for Fulmer 21
Already lost in basketball? 17
Ole Miss at
CB
Look, contrary to popular belief, I fucking hate this game. I don't care about the Golden Egg.
"Classy" Racists 17
"Dirty" Racists 9
ML
Another easy choice.... Confederate flag waving Rebels who want to see a return to antebellum society v. the harmless bulldog. Even though it represents the English, it is still not as bad as representing the oppressive hateful South. Plus, they have a black head coach.
Robert E. Lee was worse than Hitler 13
I’ll get over the ringing of cow bells 23
EGM
How the fuck did they ever dream up calling this game the Golden Egg Bowl? Did some
Mulatto coach 17
Black coach 18
CB
The Virgins are heading to the land of sin and debauchery. One would think that after losing to Tech that
Virgin Territory 17
Not a Virgin nose in sight 33
ML
I love hurricanes. They show humanity that they are nothing more than little fleas on the back of the Earth. The egotistical pigs burn their fossil fuels while driving their SUVs contributing to global warming. I know people say the sun is getting hotter, but I personally believe that 200 years of evil human activity can do more to effect the global climate than this “Sun” people keep talking about. Stupid humans used to worship the sun, so I refuse to believe anyone that claims the sun is the reason temperatures are rising. These capitalist pigs deserve every hurricane that comes their way. I dream of the day when hurricanes wipe out the industrial capacity of the
Pirates are bad….mmmmkay 14
Hurricanes are awesome 31
EGM
I am sending out an APB for Cokehead fans…suddenly their numbers are depleted and the world is a better place. If there are 30,000 in the Powder Blue Bowl I’ll be amazed.
Why do they call themselves Wahoos? 7
Why do we even have home games? 19
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2005 Records:
Standings W L %
El Gran Mono 74 24 76
Cuzzin Bailey 73 25 74
Malt Licker 69 29 70
Famous Amos 4 3 57
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