Slate of Games and...CHAMPION CROWNED!

Only one game this week and pinnaclesports.com will provide us with the necessary line (for entertainment purposes only). I was the only team at .500 last week with CB and ML going 1-5-1 and 2-4-1 respectively. But more importantly, Malt Licker has clinched the championship of pickmaster of the universe...of the SEC. The only fun is really in the game this week and perhaps a shot at all the pickers going .500 or better. I'm going to post the comparison of the division predictions to the actual results later today. Should be good pre-Mr Speed wedding fodder.

Saturday, December 2, 2006

Georgia Dome, Atlanta, GA

Arkansas vs. Florida (-2.5), 6

Bourbon Boys Pick The SEC Week XIII – Saturday Edition

South Carolina at Clemson (-5.5), 12

CB

USC led by Spurrier dropped a 50 bomb on some subpar opponent last week proving that he still got it bitch! I am weary to go with Tigers in a situation like this. Everytime I put my faith in them they have screwed me, but come on … that can’t happen again can it? Naw, I’m going for the team that has modeled its entire existence off of Auburn…

USCOCKS 17

Auburn of the North … sort of 23

ML

Come on Spur-Dog! We need all the help in our gay little BCS power rating. I hate college football sometimes. Visor man needs to deflect the distractions of various job opportunities and concentrate on stopping Clemzzzzon and CJ Spiller. The Cocks have not won one of these close games all year. Will they break that trend or will it be the story of their season?

Break it Cocks! 20

Scariest looking mascot ever 14

EGM

Not much defense will be featured in this battle of rednecks. I’m sure their will be talk of “heritage not hate” in the stands.

Cockadoodledoo 31

Clemzon 28

Florida at FSU (+10), 12

CB

Well, UF favored by double digits playing AWAY … sure a team that has been struggling … but a serious rival … I don’t know if I like that look. I mean, I am 100% sure that we are gonna win, but are we really gonna smoke them to the tune of a virtual blow out? … Hell why not? Sure Bowden is gonna have his team jacked, but what was he doing last year? This is the same bullshit team led by the same bullshit coaches … Even their fans have given up on the season, that’s one thing I know about FSU fans is that they are sell out bitches … I say go with the Gators (and this was a totally unbiased opinion)…riiiight

FLORIDA 35

STATE 14

ML

10 point favorites….on the road….in Tallaha$$ee. I never really thought I’d see this day, and to be honest, it is frightening. If the hapless Nole$ can’t get fired up for this, they have no soul. Thankfully, the strength of the Gators is F$U’s weakness. Our D-Line v. their O-Line, and the D-Line will dominate, sacking whoever is QB and forcing at least 3 turnovers. Our offense will finally put it all together and notch an impressive victory.

Fightin’ Gators 31

Hapless Nole$ 10

EGM

Florida $tate $ucks!

BCS? 31

Hello Boise 7

Kentucky at Tennessee (-18.5), 12:30

CB

HAHA UK had a fucking shootout last week against Louisiana Monroe. I don’t know if that’s a good sign for when they play the Vols in Knoxville. Eriq Ainge returned last week in huge fashion that spells trouble for the Mildcats bullshit defense. Kentucky’s offense is another story. They have the ability to score at will against shitty teams, so that will be the real trick…whether or not they can compete against a good group. I say no, but will they get it handed to them to the tune of 19 points? I need a good win here so I’m taking Kentucky with the spread…

Kensucky 17

Fulmer’s a bitch 30

ML

Phat Phil has never lost to the Mildcats. UK has a chance to go 8-4, and match the Vols record. This would truly be unprecedented. If this game were at Commonwealth stadium, and before Thanksgiving, I’d give UK a chance. But Phil will have already been fed and his mind will be acute. Rich Brooks has earned himself another year, but is this a good thing?

UK 17

UT 38

EGM

The Vols are much better with Ainge but KY has enough offense to keep this one under the number.

Rich Brooks new deal 21

Citrus Bowl 35

Mississippi State at Ole Miss (-3), 2

CB

The gayest name in College sports rivalries. This is the battle for the “Golden Egg”. Did some redneck see Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory one too many times? My God I just looked up some history of the Egg Bowl…it is so stupid … “supremacy in college football in the state of Mississippi” HAHAHA … The worst part is that with both of these teams sucking crank this year, this might be quite a competitive game … worth watching … then shooting yourself afterwards … don’t say I didn’t warn you…

Mess State 18

Ole Piss 21

ML

Ahhhh…the Egg Bowl! You can throw out the records when these two squads get together. I bet both fan bases wish they could.

Sly 19

The Orgeron 21

EGM

Take a shit on the pavement. Smash it with your foot. Let the sun warm it up. That’s this game.

Croom on fire 21

Orgeron not 20

Georgia Tech at Georgia (-1.5), 3:30

CB

Great, another fun game against two teams that I have zero interest in. Tech has been pretty solid all year with the exception of their total flake job against Clemson. UGA was total shite until they romper stomped Auburn handily two weeks ago. I mean freaking explain that to me…They lost to UT, not that big of a deal, as the Vols are decent, but then they blew I at home to Vandy… but even Vandy has their days … they of course lost to UF … but then to UK?!?! … I mean who loses to UK … Kentucky sucks ass … but then when it came time to roll into the Plains of Auburn, the Dawgs played like they were National Champ contenders … which they aren’t … now they are favored against a good team … how does one win a favorite make?? Anyways, … I think the Auburn game was a fluke … Tech will be gearing up for the ACC title game and what better way to hone your skeels than against an interstate rival?

Tech 16

UGA 13

ML

My god..Reggie “crackhead” Ball has a completion percentage of 47.4% and shit-head Stafford has 5 TDs and 12 INTs. The Dawgs had a bye week to savor their big victory over Au-buhn and prepare for their intrastate rivals. I feel like the Dawgs treat Tech like we treat them. Basically, they own the Engineers

Georgia…Blech 13

Dirty Dawgs 20

EGM

Georgia is playing tough again. There defense should have it way with Reggie Crackhead Ball.

Arthropods 13

Canines 21

This is Dylan, you know the drill! bourbonboyspicks@yahoo.com

Bourbon Boys Pick The SEC Week XIII – Early Edition

Cuzzin’ Bailey

Well, after taking it on the chin the past couple of weeks, this Bourbon Boy is looking to regain the league this week and show all you bitchasses that I am one hell of a picker against spreads. I am looking forward to the Gators continuing the trend of kicking the shit out of the Noles each year. This time, while the game is in Tally, the Gators should be able to take care of business as we are the better team, and by that I mean sure we make mistakes, but we play through them. Anyways, Happy Thanksgiving to all of you…I hope you get as drunk as I do …

Malt Licker

Gobble Gobble sports fans…once again the BCS is a mess, and there are several 1-loss teams attempting to plead their case for entry. While the thought of a Michigan-OSU rematch makes me sick, I quote Charlie Weis, “you can’t complain if you have a blemish.” Our blemish may be prettier than some of the others, but it is a blemish nonetheless, and if you give ABCESPNDISNEY the opportunity to hype up the Big 10, they most certainly will. I fully envision a huge week for yours truly as I stake claim to the Bourbon Boys picks championship!

El Gran Mono

MMMMM…Turkey Day…my favorite day of the year. And we get to watch the Bucs kick some Dallas ass. Lots to be thankful for. Just got done watching Rudy. Yeah, I wish everyone played like that. Makes you not hate ND so much. Happy Thanksgiving.

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Boston College at Miami (+4.5), 7:30

CB

Well…I don’t know what to say. The Canes lost to Virginia of all teams and I mean the Cavs just suck … Now the Canes are home dogs to BC. Random thought here, I have to wonder if they were just looking for an excuse to fold … and losing a great player like Pata in such awful circumstances was the last straw. Anyways, I like BC in this game...they have a lot riding on this game, with a Wake loss they can win to clinch the Atlantic Division (I think) … but if they lose this … they are all but out of contention. Miami has nothing going for them, and historically, that does not bode well for this school…

Eagles 23

Canes 14

ML

There should be about 13,000 people on hand for the 22^nd anniversary of the Hail Mary. Although I could be wrong, maybe a ton of locals will attend. After all, Miami’s zeitgeist seems to be one of malediction. From the drivers on the road, to the servers in the restaurants, to the douchebag legal profs (Froomkin), it seems to be an area completely devoid of thanks and goodwill. Perhaps they will spurn this lovely holiday and watch a bunch of Jesuits from Beantown demolish their once-proud football team.

Chest Nuts on your hill 31

Tropically Depressed 10

EGM

It’s fitting that Miami gets to end its season so early. Coker will no doubt be fired after they get mauled by a vastly less talented, better coached team. But what will Cane fan do when they don’t have the jack to pay anyone decent. Let me guess…not show up at the games. But….they already do that anyway.

Golden showers for you 24

Tack on a shiezer please 14

Friday, November 24, 2006

LSU at Arkansas (+1), 2:30

CB

How do you like the Western Division Champion Razorbacks being home dogs at War Memorial Stadium in Little Rock? That blows more than one of the Clinton floozies. I know that the Tigers are tough but I think the only way they win this game is if Arkansas lays an egg in preparation for the SEC Championship game next week. Oh shit … that actually might happen, but then again I think the ‘Backs are still clinging to a tiny hope that they could play in the National Championship game…kind of like the Gators … Ark has to win this game to keep hope alive, but a tiny injury to McFadden and devastating loss would suit me just fine…

LSU 24

ARK 25

ML

Well…we need Arkansas to win so that when we knock them off they are ranked as highly as possible. Unfortunately, I feel like Nutt’s 1993 Alabama/David Palmer attack will not work against LSU and their angry front 7. However, LSU seems to have a knack for making mistakes in big games, most notably JarJar. It will take a few of those and a raucous crowd to keep the Hogs undefeated in SEC play.

Citreauxs Beauxl Beauxned 21

Still in the hunt…barely… 23

EGM

Overachievers vs. underachievers. I base this game on one maxim: McFadden plays well in big games and JarJar does not.

Hello Cotton Bowl 10

Little Rockin’ 13

Good turkey times, bad turkey times, whatever … bourbonboyspicks@yahoo.com

Week XIII Slate of Games

Here is this week's slate of game with lines courtesy of pinnaclesports.com (for entertainment purposes only. We have a new leader on the course after Cuzzin' Bailey and yours truly took a dive last week. Malt Licker is screaming into the finish line with only a few games left to play and is thinking about going 10 games over .500 for the year. Should be interesting. Enjoy some BBoys with your turkey dinner!

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Boston College @ Miami (+4.5), 7:30

Friday, November 24, 2006

LSU @ Arkansas (+1), 2:30

Saturday, November 25, 2006

South Carolina @ Clemson (-5.5), 12

Florida @ FSU (+10), 12

Kentucky @ Tennessee (-18.5), 12:30

Mississippi State @ Ole Miss (-3), 2

Georgia Tech @ Georgia (-1.5), 3:30

Bourbon Boys Pick The SEC Week XII

El Gran Mono

First things first, I must apologize to our Georgia Tech readers (most notably my studhorse cousin in the land of the heathens aka Knoxvile) for my insinuation that Wake and Maryland would be meeting for the ACC Championship. I should have said one of them would be playing in the Championship game against the mighty, unbelievable Yellow Jackets of Georgia Tech. OK, that’s enough ACC horseshit. This weekend should be packed full of fun with Mr. Speed’s bachelor party and the Bourbon Boys assembled together with friends. And uh, oh yeah, I think there is some Big Ten game this week. Take Michigan +7 if you choose. On to the conference picks that matter…

Cuzzin’ Bailey

Well here we are, week two of the Cuz knowing he’s finna get fired … things are looking up though … I have stopped caring as much and I’m trying to figure out if that is directly correlated to my increase in drinking…haha just kidding of course…I’ve always drank this much…anyways, last weekend was phenomenal! I flew down to the game and it was thrilling. The Gators pulled another win out of their asses and kept their national championship hopes alive. Speaking of which, I have already booked my flight to Phoenix for our trip to the Fiesta Bowl … this week is slightly below average for games …. I hope the Iron Bowl doesn’t suck …

Malt Licker

Well…after the orgasmic cheer following Jarvis “toke Daddy” Moss’ 2^nd block, you could hear a collective sigh of relief from the Gator Nation. It’s like when the son first beats the Dad in one on one. However, I don’t ever want to play Spurrier again. He needs to retire. That was one of the most emotional sporting events I’ve ever attended. Apparently OSU & Meeeeeshigan shouldn’t even play because even if they lose the all-knowing media feels there should be a rematch. So ESPN, just what are you “Counting Down” for?

Saturday, November 18, 2006

Western Carolina at Florida (NL), 12

EGM

Spur-Dog almost killed another SEC Championship appearance and the Gators are starting to look average on defense. Good thing they can play all of their backups this week and still shut out the lowly Catamounts.

Kitties 7

Home of Smokin’ D-Lineman 41

CB

Absolutely incredible how this team finds a way to win (most) every week … that is something special and I’m not just saying that cause I am extremely biased … 3 blocked kicks including one that allowed the Gators to take the lead late and one that would have killed the electricity in the Swamp that night with a Gamecock win…This week is going to be garbage, and the proof is that I’m going to do something I have only done twice in like 15 years: miss the game in all capacities…I can actually name the ones I missed but its not that important … like the game … Big win for UF … I’m happy about that .. chalk it up

WCU 10

UF 50

ML

I think we definitely need this breather. We can suspend all our dope smoking D Lineman and still win. We can get our LBs healthy. We can relax. Especially since, according to Bob Ryan, we “might as well have lost” to SC. The day I listen to a New Englander’s takes on college football is the day I listen to a Parisian hooker talk about class.

Cata-mounted 6

We can cover No Line 42

Tennessee at Vanderbilt (+8), 12:30

EGM

Last year Fulmer was embarrassed by Vandy and their pumpkin pie haircutted freak QB. Once again, the Vols find themselves sliding at this time of year with consecutive losses to Arkansas and LSU. Ainge may have made a difference but according to some no-nothing douchebag I met in Gainesville last weekend: “Crompton izzz awwwsooommee, fivvvveee staahhh recrooooot.” Hopefully, he checked the score the next morning after he detached his face from the rest stop floor. The Vols have much more talent than Vandy but they had huge problems stopping the McFadden at QB offense. I’m really wondering if Nickson is going to give them problems after pulling an all-nighter at the library.

Death to the land pirates!!! 34

No-doze daze 24

CB

Let the battle for the State of Tennessee begin! I could care less about this fucking game … the East has been decided, first of all and second of all one of the teams in this game is Vandy. Now you know me, normally I give the utmost respect to Vandy … I love them like a child, but I am afraid my patience is running … they are turning into that spoiled teenager who thinks that just cause I won’t “buy them a new car,” I am the “worst parent ever” … well I show you … No TV tonight Mister! Wait, what the fuck am I talking about … oh right Vandy … I hate them … always have … but do they deserve to be 8 point home dogs? Probably not.

UT 23

Vandy 17

ML

The battle for Volunteer State pride…the Vols got trounced by the charter school of McRib-land last week. While Vandy had to ensure they’d be last in the East. Ainge is supposed to be going, so I’m taking the creamsicles.

Vawwwwls 31

Vanderdork 17

Middle Tennessee at South Carolina (-15.5), 12:30

EGM

The Cocks need this win to become bowl eligible. The question is how much do they win by? Middle Tennessee has been blown out by two-thirds of the decent teams they have played and could be looking to put the icing on their undefeated Sun Belt season. Spur-Dog has been known to overlook an opponent but after last week’s letdown and the rebirth of Phil Petty Blake Mitchell they should roll up the Blue Raiders quite easily.

Middle Tennessee STATE! 14

All Cocked up about a bowl game 31

CB

Man, it must suck to be a Gamecock fan this week … to lose like that in the Swamp has be heartbreaking … hahahaahahhahahahahahah GOOD … this is for all you asshole USC fans who were yelling at me throughout the game (Cuzzin Bailey sticks up both Middle fingers!)…not sure why a stage direction deserved an exclamation point … oh well … Can they rebound from such a gut-wrenching loss? One would think they would falter a bit, but maybe Spur-dog had some positive words to tell his team … haha unlikely …

MTSU 15

USC 29

ML

The best way to get over a cock-block is to beat the blue balls of the raiders and become bowl eligible.

Pride of Murfreesboro 16

Succup can’t get it up 24

Louisiana-Monroe at Kentucky (-19.5), 1

EGM

It’s really hard to believe that Kentucky is already bowl eligible. It’s also hard to believe that they are laying 19+ points against anyone. La-Directional is absolutely terrible and was rolled earlier this season by a pathetic bunch of shitbags otherwise known as the Alabama Crimson Tide. That alone leads me to believe Andre Woodson will have his way with La-Monroe and keep tossing touchdowns like a Dusty Bonner clone.

Masters of falconry 21

Masters of rebuilding 41

CB

Kentucky beat Vandy last week in what could only be compared to a fight between two broads … except not as hot … in fact that was a bad analogy … this week looks to be a chance for UK to get some rest. I have to think that they are playing well enough to cover such a huge spread … and hell, ULM isn’t impressing anyone these days … or any days for that matter

MON-roe 10

KEN-tuck 30

ML

Did you know Kentucky is 2^nd in the East? Holy shit! Has this ever happened? Probably not even in September. Who would have thought the football team could finish higher than the basketball team this year. That’s right Tubby…your boys will be 3^rd!!!

No Mo’ La Mo 13

Krazy Kats 31

Arkansas at Mississippi State (+14.5), 2:30

EGM

This is a trap game. TRAP, TRAP, TRAP. Just keep saying it. The Hawgs have been all over the headlines and McFadden is deservedly a Heisman candidate. However, Miss State has played the last three SEC teams tough and I fully expect them to come out fired up looking to upset Arkansas. I don’t think that will happen but 14.5 is just too many points to be giving at Starkville.

Good but not great 28

Gearing up for the Egg Bowl 14

CB

Now I normally don’t do this, but I am going to make a guarantee this week … this is it .. Arkansas is going to clinch the west Saturday by being the snot out of Mississippi State … 14.5 seems like a lot but uh, have you fucking seen Arkansas? … They are really good … I think they win …big

Razorback 35

Dirty Dawgs 10

ML

Do these two schools even have indoor plumbing? Arkansas doesn’t need indoor plumbing. They have Mr. McFadden. I’m not even sure whether its Dick or Cumstain playing QB. Their QB could have a clitoris and they’d still beat MSU.

Clit Commander 34

Run Over 10

Auburn at Alabama (+3), 3:30

EGM

Iron Bowl. I will summarize the hatred between the two schools by providing three quotes from a young, redneck I met at Moes in Plainstemperance, AL.

Describing Bars in Tuscaloosa: “If you don’t have a gun or a knife, then they will give you one at the door.”

Describing Laziness of Bama fans: “They are so lazy they will marry a pregnant girl.”

Describing his parents love of Bama: “I’m just fucking lucky I’m not named ‘Paul’ or ‘Bear’ or some shit like that.”

Great stuff. Bama is pitiful, but so are the Plainsmen lately. There are rumors of TT leaving for Miami and Mikey getting shitcanned. This is a tossup but I’m betting on the home team somehow pulling it out against Brandon “Don’t EVER Count On Me” Cox.

TT’s last game? 14

One more season of Shulaball 17

CB

Well it’s the Iron Bowl…yippie … I really don’t have much to say since both of these teams are out of contention for the SEC championship but I do have some breaking news!! This just in … apparently Auburn’s head coach Tommy Tuberville is going to be the new top dog at Miami at the end of the season … not only that, but wind of this has gotten to the players and apparently they have given up on the year … Now I’m not saying that Bama has what it takes to take advantage, but you have to like their chances now … don’t you?

Burned 23

Bammer 21

ML

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrn Bowl!!!!!! Auburn looking to go 6-0 at Bryant-Denny and win their fifth in a row over their hated rivals. One of my uncles played for the Tide, and they’d visit every thanksgiving and the Arrrrn Bowl would always be on. We had a parakeet and my dad dubbed him the War Eagle, and he’d fly around and swoop on his head. It was fun.

WarKeets 23

FireMikeShula.com 17

Ole Miss at Louisiana State (-27.5), 8

EGM

Ole Miss is 100% terrible. LSU annihilates terrible teams. Take this line to the bank.

Missin’ Colonel Reb 0

A Perrilloux sighting 42

CB

I sincerely doubt that LSU is going to drop a 25+ bomb on the Rebels-ish. To quote a fellow Bourbon Boy, “ask Auburn how ‘shitty’ Ole Miss is.” And they played Auburn before the word go out that Tommy T is jumping ship…Now I have no delusions that LSU will falter here, but I think the Rebs will keep this closer than a blowout.

Ole’ 17

LSU 30

ML

I just saw the Gators make 18 consecutive FGs. No…not in football, in basketball. We’re good. Meanwhile, LSU dusted the Tide and look to take on the shittiest QB in the league, Baby Vick. Jar Jar could eat up Schaeeffer with his morning oatmeal.

Tasty Brent 9

Man-eating tigers 31

Georgia – OFF

EGM

Prepping for annual showdown against the smart kids from Georgia and possibly buying some tight black pants for the significant other.

CB

What the fuck happened last week? Who were those chaps wearing Red and Black? I’m glad we didn’t play THAT team.

ML

Gee UGA, thanks for finally showing up this year. Now beat Ga Tech….

Miami at Virginia (+3), 12

EGM

Miami is not a very good team but they are a talented team. Every game that Kyle “At Least Phil Steele Loves Me” Wright doesn’t start is a chance to actually win and possibly win big. The Canes had heavy hearts last week against the turtles and I’m sure some of that will carry over into the rest of the season if not next. However, the Canes have too much talent to be getting points against a terrible WAHOO! team.

Miami 21

Flaming Pirates 17

CB

Its pretty clear that Miami has given up on this season … I feel bad for what they have gone through even though I don’t make that clear too often. I have a friend who went to UVA … so that should mean something right? I guess there’s a “chance” that the Cavs could pull this out ... but unlikely

UM 14

UVA 10

ML

Canes…still trying to become bowl eligible, good thing they brought that thug back from suspension. Now they might be able to win. I know the Wahoos suck, but I see Coker going down like a blaze of glory.

No Bowl…ese 14

Wahoooooooooooooo 17

Western Michigan at Florida State (-16), 2

EGM

Blown out by 30 points AT HOME!

+ Buyout of Mr. Scapegoat for lump sum + years of $100k salary

+ Needing a win to be bowl eligible

+ QB controversy

+ Zero running game

+ Above average mid-major opponent

= Easy cover

Buckin’ Fuckin’ Bronco 10

BOWL ELIGIBLE! 31

CB

Both FSU and UF are playing weaklings to gear up for next weeks intra-state rivalry. However, I am pretty sure that WMU isn’t that God awful so that might spell trouble for the Noles who got totally bitch-slapped by Wake last week. They were shut out at home for God’s sake…that was so embarrassing … they may want to look at this as a way to redeem themselves…but that is too late … the Seminoles fucking blow

Broncos 17

FSU 27

ML

Do you think if Jeff Bowden applied for the vacancy at F$U for offensive coordinator Bobby would remember that he was the one just fired?

WMU 6

F$U 31

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Week XII Slate of Games

Here is this week's slate of games with lines courtesy of pinnaclesports.com (for entertainment purposes only). Malt Licker had a fabulous week going 6-1 and El Gran Mono resembled the "cutish" Gators going 2-5. Additionally, Cuzzin Bailey held on to a narrow one game lead by going 4-3. It's getting close folks with only three weeks to go, will it come down to the last week like last year? We shall see...

Saturday, November 18, 2006

Western Carolina at Florida (NL), 12

Tennessee at Vanderbilt (+8), 12:30

Middle Tennessee at South Carolina (-15.5), 12:30

Louisiana-Monroe at Kentucky (-19.5), 1

Arkansas at Mississippi State (+14.5), 2:30

Auburn at Alabama (+3), 3:30

Ole Miss at Louisiana State (-27.5), 8

Georgia - OFF

Miami at Virginia (+3), 12

Western Michigan at Florida State (-16), 2

Bourbon Boys Pick The SEC Week XI

Bourbon Boys Pick The SEC Week XI

Malt Licker

Ol’ Cuzzin’ Bailey may be out of a job as the GOP has been swept out of the Capitol. I only hope W knows how to pronounce veto, the thought of Pelosi driving policy makes my skin curdle. Maybe that’s what happened to her face.

El Gran Mono

Crazy ass week. The GOP gets pushed around like 90 lbs Vietnamese prostitute and Cuzzin’ Bailey is suddenly looking for employment. Let’s hope the Gators fare better now that they have an outside shot at a national championship appearance. I’d also like to pour some out for Scoop Thomas, who just couldn’t handle the thought of staying in Gainesville and attending mandatory classes. Nice work, I see where your priorities are chief. And I do mean CHIEF! On to the picks…

Cuzzin’ Bailey

Well I’m sure everyone is aware of the shitty news this week … and I’m not talking about the Florida-Vandy game … Cuzzin’ Bailey is joining the ranks of all the fucking bums you see out on the street with signs and mumbling to themselves. That’s right … yours truly is getting canned. The “wonderful” public cast their votes Tuesday and the people have spoken and have decided that there is no need for a Bourbon Boy in the US Government. Oh well who cares … maybe I’ll just work at Blockbuster … Anyways, there are some perennially great games this weekend … and some shitty ones as well. So considering the fact that I have to start looking for a job, this will be an abbreviated version of my picks…Bitch.

Saturday, November 11, 2006

Georgia at Auburn (-13), 12:30

ML

Oh boy, it’s the oldest rivalry in the South or some shit. The Dawgagas have been pretty pathetic this year…Holy Shit!!! I just realized they actually lost to Kentucky. Wow, shows how hammered I was Saturday, and how hungover I was Sunday, and how busy I’ve been this week. I just don’t see UGA losing by 2 TDs.

UGGGGH-AAA 13

Awwwbarn 24

EGM

Now I understand why the Plainsmen wanted to play UGA every year instead of UF. While they may have reigned over the pseudo-Mighty Gators earlier this year, they should absolutely dominate the lowly Dawgs. But even though UGA lost to KY last week I have a sneaky suspicion they will come to play against Auburn’s highly overrated, “sack em or get burned” defense. Matt “Looks Like a Bad Case of” Staphord should make enough throws to keep this one under 13. I rather bet the over/under on Eddie Bauer Explorer’s with kayak’s on top outside the stadium. The number should be somewhere around 10,000.

Our chicks wear tight black pants 13

Our dudes wear tight orange pants 24

CB

The Dawgs lost to fucking Kentucky last week … they are absolutely so shitty its hard to even imagine that we let them stay in the game two weeks ago … but then I remember the Vandy game and how apparently we can’t shut down teams even when we have a sizable lead … you know, come to think of it, its not that hard to imagine…This game is at Auburn, and to be honest that really doesn’t matter, just wanted to point that out…I like the Tigers … Rivalry game or not …

Dawgs 13

Kitties 28

Vanderbilt at Kentucky (-2.5), 1

ML

I realized this is the first week SEC teams have played only SEC teams, which limits our entries to 7. Halle-fucking-lulah, these teams are actually not half-bad. Both have managed to beat “upper-tier” UGA and have played just about everyone tough. I’m going with Vandy being away from home and the library.

Vanderbilt 23

Kentucky 27

EGM

Vandy seems to get all the respect for being a half-ass team that loses all the tim but KY has actually managed to scrape together three conference wins and would be bowl eligible with a victory here. However, Vanderdork is on the road and away from academic temptations. Good thing KY plays La-Direction next week because they will need that one in order to play in the Micron PC Bowl.

Bobby Johnson = Good Coach 24

Rich Brooks = Shitty Coach 21

CB

The Mildcats equaled a feat that the Commodores accomplished earlier this year which means that this could conceivably be the best game of the week, they both beat UGA (which means we should probably put all of Athens on suicide watch)…Sorry for keeping this short, but this IS Vandy at UK … I mean who the fuck cares?

Vandie 19

Kensucky 20

South Carolina at Florida (-13), 3:30

ML

Well, it finally is here, and the buzz is surprisingly low around the Sunshine state. Maybe I’ve just been in the dark. Once again, the odds makers have us a double-digit favorite. I wonder what our cover percentage has been this year. I’d guess it is less than .500. I hope Cuzzin’ Bailey is keeping quiet this week. Rumor has it he’s coming to Gville and lord knows he’ll want his pipes rested to boo Spurrier.

First in a long line of defeats at the place you built Steve 14

Victory…but no cover 23

EGM

I’d really like to say the Gators are going to run away with this one and make Spur-dog look like a fool; however, that is highly unlikely. The Gators can’t seem to put two halves together these days and Leak is starting to look very shaky throwing the ball. It’s a good thing the Gator defense has played so well this year or else this team would probably have at least two more losses. The one thing that gives a Gator fan hope is Blake Mitchell at QB for the Cocks. The guy just throws the ball up for grabs and makes terrible decisions against the blitz. Hopefully, the lead will be big enough when Syvelle Newton comes in to stage a comeback.

Too much Mitchell 14

Too much Gator D 28

CB

What kind of moron would I be if I picked UF to cover this spread? Its actually a great possibility that we could lose this game … lets think about this … UF has been blowing it lately, late in games … and South Carolina’s coach is phenomenal even if he is the biggest turncoat this side of Sir Walter Raleigh … Spur-dog is probably going to have a whole bag of the same old tricks … fades, slants, and pretty much all around badass passing plays, the only question is, do they have the talent to burn the UF DBs … I think they do … but I think we will be able to hold them back on the scoring just enough and probably late just to ensure a victory in our last SEC game …

USC 23

UF 33

Tennessee at Arkansas (-5.5), 7

ML

I will never watch this game without thinking about the Clint Stoerner Stumble game. Man, that ‘98 team might have been the luckiest team in the history of teams. Every time Phil is in barbecue country he feels lucky.

Pork-fried chicken 23

Phil Steele is a genius 31

EGM

This is really the game of the week in the SEC. Arkansas pretty much clinches a spot in the title game with a victory. However, Phat Phil and krew are fighting for pride now and possibly even a bonus reward of the recently released McRib. McFadden is probably the best offensive player in the SEC and top five in the country. The fact people aren’t talking about him for the Heisman is ludicrous. UT stops the run. So the real story here will be Dick/Mustinky against the UT pass defense. I think this game will be very low scoring and will set up a huge Thanksgiving Friday for Arkansas. UT is just better than the Hawgs and Fulmer is a better coach than Nutt. I can see some Clint Stoener shenanigans going down.

Smokey weans himself off the feces diet 13

Nutt Letdown Part I 10

CB

Tennessee enters this game as underdogs after getting “shocked” at home last week by LSU. The Tigers, came back late and ruined the day for all of the 100,000 Vol fans (only 90,000 teeth ironically enough). Anyways, the Razorbacks battled in a tough one at Williams-Brice Stadium last week against the Cocks and came out victorious … I like this spread, I think Erik Ainge is probably still gonna be hurt and the fact that Ark has a sick running game, I like the hicks from pseudo-Kansas to run away with it …

UT 17

UA 23

Alabama at LSU (-16.5), 7:45

ML

Thank you JAR JAR!!! Big stones on that last drive. I’ve never heard Neyland that quiet, oh wait…I was so drunk I couldn’t hear anyway, but I bet it was quiet. However, Bryant-Denny might have been more quiet. Quiet like Sly Croom at a klan meeting, quiet like Mike Shula rehashing stories of great Touchdown drives….

Shhhhhhh 9

Darsh! Valley 20

EGM

Bama is on a downward spiral and Shula is not providing answers. Sly Croom brought his batch of shitheads into Tuscaloosa and won easily. This does not bode well for a trip to Red Stick,where LSU has been annihilating everyone. JarJar will probably have problems with Bama’s gimmick defense at first but eventually his Gungan brain will put the puzzle together. LSU’s defense will shut out Bama and that is that.

Search for Ken Darby continues 0

Two loss team in the BCS? 31

CB

Remember, remember the 11^th of November … this game was once an intense rivalry, but with the loss of the “savior,” the Tide have lost their “spirit” … so to speak. Four fucking losses?? Haha … and most recently to Mississippi State!!! They are going to get fucking smoked this week … I’m just pissed now that I can’t crack on MSU as much as I have before since they finally have a road SEC win … God that is embarrassing for Bama …. I am really glad I’m not one of them …

Bama 14

LSU 33

Ole Miss – OFF

ML

No doubt need a rest after that big win over Northworstern St

EGM

Absolutely genius move in firing Cutcliffe…(cue hair stroke)

CB

Get a freaking mascot you total losers … I mean when people talk about the shit bomb teams in the SEC that are bringing us down in national respect, they are talking about you.

Mississippi State – OFF

ML

Ol’ Sly deserves a rest after the big W over his alma mater

EGM

Huge win against the Alma Mater probably nets Croom a new ten year deal.

CB

I hope these dirty Dogs get all full of themselves after the win last year … they are probably thinking this is an upswing … I got news for you, it ain’t.

Wake Forest at Florida State (-7), 12:30

ML

Here comes a big “winning streak” for the Nole$. I guess Wake is supposed to be “good” this year, but I just can’t see them winning in Doak. No matter how crappy the Nole$ are or how senile Saint Bobby seems to be. Why can’t he get run over on the sideline and break his leg like JoePa.

Deacs 23

Criminoles 28

EGM

As much as I despise the ACC, I still have a hard time believing we are prepping for a Maryland-Wake championship game. I mean what the fuck happened? This is unbelievable. That said, F$U appears to have found new life with XLee at QB. However, Wake is a very opportunistic team and always plays F$U tough. I think Wake wants this game really badly and that’s just about all it takes to beat Jeff Bowden and Mickey Andrews these days.

Billy Packmeintheass U 20

XLee is not the solution 17

CB

Great win for Wake Forest last week … I was happy to see the ‘Cons pull it out against BC … but this week is a little bit different of a scenario … They have to travel to Tally and while this is clearly another off year for FSU, they showed some interested life last week against Virginia … I won’t bash the Deacs too much as I discovered a new-found respect for them after they toughed it out on Saturday, but its hard to think that they are going to go to FSU and come out with a win after such an emotional game…I’ll be rooting for them, but that doesn’t mean anything these days …

Wake 17

FSU 21

Miami at Maryland (-2.5), 12

ML

Not even I’m a big enough asshole to make light of the shooting. If there’s karma, I’d like to keep at least an ounce of it. No chance to cover.

Dah U 13

Toitles 17

EGM

I can’t say anything about Miami this week or probably for the rest of the year. A young man full of promise meeting his demise at such a young age is just about the worst thing that can ever happen. My heartfelt sympathies go out to Bryan Pata’s family and friends.

Miami 10

Maryland 13

CB

Damn, I feel really bad for the Canes right now … the more I hear about that player that was murdered, this week, the less I feel inclined to rip on them … I heard the players wanted to play this game in honor of their teammate, and in that case, I respect the decision … I just have to wonder how much their heads are going to be in the game … they are underdogs against Maryland … that is a tough pill to swallow …

Canes 21

Terps 20

Anything, anytime, anywhere – bourbonboyspicks@yahoo.com

Week XI Slate of Games

Here's this week slate of games with lines courtesy of pinnaclesports.com (for entertainment purposes only). I'd love to write a ton about last weekend but I'm busier than shit. Guest writing anyone?

Saturday, November 11, 2006

Georgia at Auburn (-13), 12:30

Vanderbilt at Kentucky (-2.5), 1

South Carolina at Florida (-13), 3:30

Tennessee at Arkansas (-5.5), 7

Alabama at LSU (-16.5), 7:45

Miss St - OFF

Ole Miss - OFF
Wake Forest at Florida State (-7), 12:30

Miami at Maryland (-2.5), 12

Bourbon Boys Pick The SEC Week X

Cuzzin’ Bailey

Well we beat Georgia and per usual, I should have listened to my dad. The Gators couldn’t add to their 3 touchdown lead in the 2^nd half and basically played like they wanted to lose…that’s great. But this week, UF has a chance to clinch the SEC East with a win AT Vandy, and a Volunteer loss at home to LSU…You know what I was just thinking about? See, if Ohio State and Michigan keep these huge leads in the BCS to the end of the year and when they play each other it’s a close game, there is a good chance that they won’t move much considering most folks behind them (the good ones) will have one loss. Therefore,hat we will have here is my fourth worst nightmare in College Football … an all Big 10 National Championship game … Can you fucking imagine?

Malt Licker

Wow…. it’s the home stretch already. It seems like just yesterday that FSU had a winning record…oh wait…have they even had one this year? I’m currently watching the Big Least showdown on Thursday night. That’s when you know you are a second rate conference. Thursday nights are for teams that need to work some angle to get national exposure. I know we have some military folks who may be reading, so per John F. Kerry’s request, I’m gonna “keep it grade school.” Actually, Fuck that Douchebag…the essence of elitist condescension.

I’m the Malt Licker, and I approve of this message.

PS – RIP Red Auerbach – the greatest ever!

El Gran Mono

The first week of November brings us exactly two decent games and two teams from the state of Florida on a massive downward spiral. The best part is I will be drinking my ass off at the USF-Pitt game with a portable TV, watching the Gators and enjoying every bit of it. Go Bulls…or more like it…GO GETTIN’ DRUNK!

Saturday, November 4, 2006

Mississippi State at Alabama (-14), 12:30

CB

Well I mean it IS Mississippi State right? … Bama may suck, but they at least know what it feels like to win an SEC game this year. Sure the Bulldogs have lost their last two games by a combined 6 points, but let’s be honest (for the first time): they played at UGA and got 5 turnovers, and still lost, oh yea Georgia sucks; and then they just got beat by Kentucky … I mean that should say it all … they were worked last week, and Kentucky sucks too … I like Bama taking the points … I’m not going to suspect for a second that the Tide would commit stupid turnovers and keep MSU in the game, cause seriously, they play way too conservatively…

Shitdogs 13

Tide 30

ML

Sly invades his alma mater and the school that spurned him for Baby Shula. The losers from Starkville bring in their customarily terrible record. The Pachys seem to be angling for a trip to the Weedeater bowl. The offense in this game will set football back 40,000 years.

Bulldogs BC 4

Wooly Mammoths 11

EGM

According to ESPN, Sly Croom has no time restrictions on when Miss State should be good again. It appears Sly is aware of that and he’s taking the scenic route. No viable skills players. Home dogs against KY. You would think Bama would destroy a team like that. Well, you would be wrong. Bama plays to their competition on a weekly basis because their running game sucks and Mike Shula sucks. Miss State actually has a chance of winning this game and that is a sad state of affairs.

West Coast Shitty Style 17

Mike Shula Shitty Style 20

Florida at Vanderbilt (+14), 12:30

CB

Wow, another 14 point spread against an equally inferior opponent for the Gators. However, Vandy actually beat UGA in Athens, so is a two TD spread warranted? Of course it is…Vanderbilt is fucking terrible … and they don’t have their savior Jay Cutler, that’s bad news for the ‘Dores. Point being: The Gators need to cut down on the mistakes that kept the Bulldogs in the game last week. They need to run the ball with a running back. And stop dropping passes and play Tebow and let Tebow pass, and run reverses with Percy … and … well shit even if they don’t do any of those things, I’ll bet we win…

Gators! 33

Vandi 14

ML

We need some Vandy dorks to explain to Lizard boy, Chris Weak, that it is not wise to try and play football with a concussion. That can cause some serious brain bramage. I don’t know if I should feel better about our offensive performance (double entendre) because our “leader” was concussed, or feel bad because our coaches couldn’t detect that said leader was concussed.

Does Chris know where he is? 24

Vandy…not scary 14

EGM

The Gator offense is its own worst enemy. Kinda like a hot chick with herpes sores. Leak looks great one second and the offense is running smoothly but then Mattison decides its double-reverse, three yard curl route funtime. The Gators are usually good for about 21-28 points with one of the TD’s being of the defensive nature. This scoring total should rise on account of Vanderbilt’s like of size, speed and late-night library habits. Slamming no-dose in order to understand wave-particle theory usually doesn’t translate to upsets. Vandy’s QB is getting better but they are still a one-dimensional, running-only attack and that should play to the Gators strengths. I’m laying the points with Vandy at home and library shenanigans at an all time high.

Triple-D Redheads on Valtrex 31

Atomic # of Nitrogen 7

Georgia at Kentucky (+6.5), 1

CB

You know what? I have a strange feeling that this is going to be a decent game. I know that is kind of a crack on Georgia and I guess a compliment to UK, but I can’t help it. UGA has been struggling and (albeit with the help of the turnover fairy) could have lost to Mississippi State, where as only a late surge by MSU kept the Western Dogs from getting the shit kicked out of them by the Mildcats. But you know what is more exciting than the game itself … The fact that this is the annual smoking-hot-coed-gathering. Slutty looking Georgia girls, and sweet, gorgeous Kentucky skanks … Hey camera guys I’ve got two words for you ZOOM IN!

Where the clubs at? 25

We don’t have clubs 23

ML

The Dawgs may actually get a win this week. Kentucky is excited about basketball, but not super-excited. It’s not like they have the preseason #1 on campus.

Gator Football Envy 31

Gator Hoops Envy 10

EGM

Last week, KY managed to surrender 31 points and 384 points to Sly Croom’s vaunted West Coast attack. They did score 34 points themselves and smack a cool, cover hammer down but they still have major issues on defense. UGA surprised me last week a little. Richt is smart to stick with Matthew “Gotta Pseudo-Sensible Haircut” Stafford because he’s got a hose and will shine when UGA’s receivers start to catch. KY just doesn’t have the horses to stay in this game…

Back on track for the Music City Bowl 31

Too worried about the Breeders Cup 14

Northwestern State at Ole Miss (NL), 2

CB

Ole Miss seems to be putting it together as of late, (and by late I mean last week)…and with the arrival of NWS, this will be a perfect weekend for them to hone their skills before getting trounced by LSU …

Shittier than Northwestern? 10

Calm before the storm 40

ML

No line…no commentary

Is this a school for kids not smart enough to get into Northwestern? 6

Hah-vuhd of the South 34

EGM

What do you do when the Demons come to town? Hmmm, let me guess…put on a tie and look like an unkempt redneck in a tie. Bingo

Exorcised 10

Classy like Waffle House 42

Arkansas State at Auburn (-30.5), 2:30

CB

Well at least Auburn will be able to beat one team from Arkansas this year. You know, its interesting…all of these folks are just assuming that UF is going to be playing Auburn in the SEC championship game … but no one seems to mention how they don’t even control their own destiny. Shit…30 and a half … I’ll take that line … I guess…

Sawr State 7

Plainsmen 42

ML

I remember when Ray Perkins coached Ark. St after the Buccaneers canned them. That is as close as Ark St will ever be to winning at Jerrrdan-Hare Stadium. Although when Ray was there they might have played all their games at Legion Field…next to Vulcan

Gasp! Offensive Mascot 6

Multiple mascots 41

EGM

Yes folks, this game has a line. The Indians are a powerhouse Sun Belt team coming off a devastating loss to Florida Atlantic in the pit known as Boca Raton. The Plainsmen looked lethargic against supercrappy Ole Miss last week and their running game is starting to take a back seat to Brandon “Don’t Ever Put the Game on My Shoulders” Cox. Luckily, everything will be back to normal in Plainsmen country this week: 1) great night of sober sleep; 2) shined up tall wallet; 3) tight, orange slacks perfectly ironed; 4) shitty haircut perfectly uncombed; and 4) petition for countywide prohibition of alcohol signed by every local resident. Sounds like an easy cover to me…

Got any fire water? 3

You mean Tabasco spiked water? 45

LSU at Tennessee (+2), 3:30

CB

I suppose this is the game of the week … I mean the game that is actually a contest betwixt two teams that people can agree are not shitty… UT loses and they are pretty much out of the SEC race for all intents and purposes, LSU is already done and probably looking forward to playing spoiler. Last year was one of the freakiest games I have ever seen in my life. LSU jumped out to a 21 point lead very early with Eriq Ainge throwing a pick while he was backed inside his own endzone as well as other miscues on the UT side…the Vols came storming back and forced overtime in which Tennessee was victorious. I guess this could mean that the Tigers are jacked about getting some revenge right? I don’t know why I’m asking you … I don’t see you writing your personal thoughts down on a blog for the world to see …. Sorry about that … I just read an article about how Vandy is better than they used to be … maybe I should go back and change my mind about the score … naw … oh yea … this game … should be great ... UT needs a win desperately … that’s usually when the ground falls out from beneath you.

Tigres 24

Vuls 23

ML

I just saw John Goodman on a preview for that show nobody watches…Studio 60. Good lord he’s a fat shit. He makes Phil look like Iggy Pop. Apparently Eric Ainge is hurting and might not play with a gimpy ankle. I really want to pick LSU, but if they win that would make things easy on UF. I really feel like we are going to have to clinch our first SEC East Title post-Spurrier against Spurrier.

Oeauxtback Beauxl 17

CiTrUs Bowl 23

EGM

Game of the week. LSU needs a win to remain the best two-loss team in the country. They have blown out every team other than the Plainsmen and Gators. They have a stud defense but they insist on putting all of the offensive weight on the broad, idiotic shoulders of JarJar. The Vols will have no problem stopping the lethargic running game of the Cajun dirt mongers and UT’s secondary is becoming their strength so this game should be very low scoring. Eric Ainge is supposedly “hurt” and that could be the only reason that LSU is favored. This game is a total coin flip but after Ainge’s struggles against the Bama and Gator defense, I’ll take the best defense in the SEC laying the points.

No way to fit “eaux” in DEFENSE 17

Smoky would like an extra side of feces, please 13

Arkansas at South Carolina (+2), 7:45

CB

Looks like the SEC is really cracking down on artificial noise during games these days …. The two biggest offenders of using the PA system to pump up the crowd during opponents drives, Auburn and South Carolina, have received verbal warnings from the league … apparently the Gamecock “crow” is going to be limited to: when they score, halftime, pre/post game, and timeouts … basically the SEC is telling those two piece of shit schools that we do not want this to turn into the NBA … and that is fine with me … anyways, Arkansas is looking to hold onto its 2 game lead over Auburn and LSU starting this weekend with four SEC games in a row … one of them is against Miss. State, so its really only 3 games…depending on which Razorback team shows up, this could get ugly real quick for USC. Seeing as how they have struggled against pseudo-decent teams this year, I say that the coach formerly known as the Gators coach will have his hands full … not to the tune of like a blow out, but, I think the ‘Backs are gonna run all over the Cocks.

Ark 27

Cok 20

ML

To make UF’s season even more storybook, we’re gonna get to play Auburn for revenge. For that to happen, the Hawgs have to lose sometime. Why not at Williams Brice?

Cumstain chokes on…. 14

Big Bad Cocks 20

EGM

Huge game for both teams. USC just didn’t have the talent to the stay with UT last week. Arkansas has a lot of talent, but not seasoned talent. Spur-dog will show the team that wants out of the SEC the proverbial “door”. Syvelle Newton will tear up the blitz-at-all-costs Hawg defense and the Cocks will tear up the run-at-all costs Arkansas offense. I like the Cocks fairly big in this game and they are getting TWO POINTS. Hammer of Thor bitch!

Nutts 13

Cocks 27

Virginia at Florida State (-11), 3:30

CB

I hate to say this, but things don’t look too good for UVA right now … sure they have a winning conference record but in these next three weeks they will have to play the Criminoles, the Criminals (UM), and the Thugs (Va Tech) … wow, I wasn’t even thinking of their safety when I started this run-on sentence…Anyways, three teams that once were good and now are just AIGHT … and the Cav’s are still 11 point underdogs … I know FSU sucks these days, but I also think that UVA is terrible and won’t be able to take advantage of the Noles miscues … sorry guys … at least I don’t like the spread…

Cavaliers 18

Noles 27

ML

The Noles…ha ha…need…ha ha….this….ha ha….win…haha….to try to become….ha ha ha…..bowl eligible. Good thing Al Groh blows.

Gay Pirates 13

Loser Injuns 28

EGM

Let the XLEE show begin. Bowden reached into his “maybe this guy will be Charlie Ward” bag of tricks last week and came out with a three point loss to a shitty Maryland team. Bravo Senor Bowden. What happened to the Nole$ running game and defense? Well, it doesn’t really matter against the “Wahoos” who are absolutely terrible. XLEE should have a huge game and FSU should creep one game above .500.

I hate guys who wear “Wahoo” hats 10

XLEE & “Tone” $mith 27

Virginia Tech at Miami (+2.5), 8

CB

This reminds me of a high school party … two groups of people who hate each other … or maybe they don’t hate each other, but they are so fucked up in the head that they will snap at any moment, just ready to rumble … cocaine everywhere, chicks so fucked up they can barely stand … selling booze in the stands … hmmm actually that doesn’t sound like high school to me … that sounds like fun … haha anyways, Tech is favored and the way they handled Clemson last weekend, I really like that spread …

Tech 35

Miami 28

ML

Good lord…Miami getting points at home against the Hokies. Miami has given up a shat-load of sacks this year, and the Gobblers have sacked the QBs a lot. I’ve grown tired of the coke/thug/hispaniola/shithole town jokes. So I’m going to just reiterate that one A. Michael Froomkin from UM Law sucks donkey balls.

HokieHokieHokieHokie 24

Sebastian is Sick 13

EGM

The Cokeheads should be getting at least a touchdown in this game. VaTech has magically turned around their season much like they did two years ago. That year, they beat a much better Cokehead team for the ACC Title in the Powder Blue Bowl. I almost wish I could be at this game to see the idiotic Cokehead fans have their puny egos crushed by Branden Ore and krew. The Cokeheads have no chance in hell to win this game and Coker will still be the coach next year. Sad but true. So Cokehead fan, slam that extra xanny bar, sniff that extra line, put on that extra tight black shirt and go find you a scorching case of gonorrhea.

Definition of how to rebound 27

Definition of asshole 10

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