El Gran Mono
First things first, I must apologize to our Georgia Tech readers (most notably my studhorse cousin in the land of the heathens aka Knoxvile) for my insinuation that Wake and
Well here we are, week two of the Cuz knowing he’s finna get fired … things are looking up though … I have stopped caring as much and I’m trying to figure out if that is directly correlated to my increase in drinking…haha just kidding of course…I’ve always drank this much…anyways, last weekend was phenomenal! I flew down to the game and it was thrilling. The Gators pulled another win out of their asses and kept their national championship hopes alive. Speaking of which, I have already booked my flight to
Well…after the orgasmic cheer following Jarvis “toke Daddy” Moss’ 2nd block, you could hear a collective sigh of relief from the Gator Nation. It’s like when the son first beats the Dad in one on one. However, I don’t ever want to play Spurrier again. He needs to retire. That was one of the most emotional sporting events I’ve ever attended. Apparently OSU & Meeeeeshigan shouldn’t even play because even if they lose the all-knowing media feels there should be a rematch. So ESPN, just what are you “Counting Down” for?
Saturday, November 18, 2006
Western Carolina at
Spur-Dog almost killed another SEC Championship appearance and the Gators are starting to look average on defense. Good thing they can play all of their backups this week and still shut out the lowly Catamounts.
Home of Smokin’ D-Lineman 41
Absolutely incredible how this team finds a way to win (most) every week … that is something special and I’m not just saying that cause I am extremely biased … 3 blocked kicks including one that allowed the Gators to take the lead late and one that would have killed the electricity in the Swamp that night with a Gamecock win…This week is going to be garbage, and the proof is that I’m going to do something I have only done twice in like 15 years: miss the game in all capacities…I can actually name the ones I missed but its not that important … like the game … Big win for UF … I’m happy about that .. chalk it up
I think we definitely need this breather. We can suspend all our dope smoking D Lineman and still win. We can get our LBs healthy. We can relax. Especially since, according to Bob Ryan, we “might as well have lost” to SC. The day I listen to a New Englander’s takes on college football is the day I listen to a Parisian hooker talk about class.
We can cover No Line 42
Last year Fulmer was embarrassed by Vandy and their pumpkin pie haircutted freak QB. Once again, the Vols find themselves sliding at this time of year with consecutive losses to
Death to the land pirates!!! 34
No-doze daze 24
Let the battle for the State of
The battle for
The Cocks need this win to become bowl eligible. The question is how much do they win by? Middle
Phil Petty Blake Mitchell they should roll up the Blue Raiders quite easily.
All Cocked up about a bowl game 31
Man, it must suck to be a Gamecock fan this week … to lose like that in the Swamp has be heartbreaking … hahahaahahhahahahahahah GOOD … this is for all you asshole USC fans who were yelling at me throughout the game (Cuzzin Bailey sticks up both Middle fingers!)…not sure why a stage direction deserved an exclamation point … oh well … Can they rebound from such a gut-wrenching loss? One would think they would falter a bit, but maybe Spur-dog had some positive words to tell his team … haha unlikely …
The best way to get over a cock-block is to beat the blue balls of the raiders and become bowl eligible.
Succup can’t get it up 24
It’s really hard to believe that
Masters of falconry 21
Masters of rebuilding 41
Did you know
Krazy Kats 31
This is a trap game. TRAP, TRAP, TRAP. Just keep saying it. The Hawgs have been all over the headlines and McFadden is deservedly a Heisman candidate. However,
Good but not great 28
Gearing up for the Egg Bowl 14
Now I normally don’t do this, but I am going to make a guarantee this week … this is it ..
Dirty Dawgs 10
Do these two schools even have indoor plumbing?
Clit Commander 34
Run Over 10
Iron Bowl. I will summarize the hatred between the two schools by providing three quotes from a young, redneck I met at Moes in
Describing Bars in
Describing Laziness of Bama fans: “They are so lazy they will marry a pregnant girl.”
Describing his parents love of Bama: “I’m just fucking lucky I’m not named ‘Paul’ or ‘Bear’ or some shit like that.”
Great stuff. Bama is pitiful, but so are the Plainsmen lately. There are rumors of TT leaving for
TT’s last game? 14
One more season of Shulaball 17
Well it’s the Iron Bowl…yippie … I really don’t have much to say since both of these teams are out of contention for the SEC championship but I do have some breaking news!! This just in … apparently Auburn’s head coach Tommy Tuberville is going to be the new top dog at Miami at the end of the season … not only that, but wind of this has gotten to the players and apparently they have given up on the year … Now I’m not saying that Bama has what it takes to take advantage, but you have to like their chances now … don’t you?
Ole Miss at
Ole Miss is 100% terrible. LSU annihilates terrible teams. Take this line to the bank.
Missin’ Colonel Reb 0
A Perrilloux sighting 42
I sincerely doubt that LSU is going to drop a 25+ bomb on the Rebels-ish. To quote a fellow Bourbon Boy, “ask
I just saw the Gators make 18 consecutive FGs. No…not in football, in basketball. We’re good. Meanwhile, LSU dusted the Tide and look to take on the shittiest QB in the league, Baby Vick. Jar Jar could eat up Schaeeffer with his morning oatmeal.
Tasty Brent 9
Man-eating tigers 31
Prepping for annual showdown against the smart kids from
What the fuck happened last week? Who were those chaps wearing Red and Black? I’m glad we didn’t play THAT team.
Gee UGA, thanks for finally showing up this year. Now beat Ga Tech….
Flaming Pirates 17
Its pretty clear that
Canes…still trying to become bowl eligible, good thing they brought that thug back from suspension. Now they might be able to win. I know the Wahoos suck, but I see Coker going down like a blaze of glory.
No Bowl…ese 14
Western Michigan at
Blown out by 30 points AT HOME!
+ Buyout of Mr. Scapegoat for lump sum + years of $100k salary
+ Needing a win to be bowl eligible
+ QB controversy
+ Zero running game
+ Above average mid-major opponent
= Easy cover
Buckin’ Fuckin’ Bronco 10
BOWL ELIGIBLE! 31
Both FSU and UF are playing weaklings to gear up for next weeks intra-state rivalry. However, I am pretty sure that WMU isn’t that God awful so that might spell trouble for the Noles who got totally bitch-slapped by Wake last week. They were shut out at home for God’s sake…that was so embarrassing … they may want to look at this as a way to redeem themselves…but that is too late … the Seminoles fucking blow
Do you think if Jeff Bowden applied for the vacancy at F$U for offensive coordinator Bobby would remember that he was the one just fired?
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