Bourbon Boys Pick The SEC Week XIII – Saturday Edition

South Carolina at Clemson (-5.5), 12

CB

USC led by Spurrier dropped a 50 bomb on some subpar opponent last week proving that he still got it bitch! I am weary to go with Tigers in a situation like this. Everytime I put my faith in them they have screwed me, but come on … that can’t happen again can it? Naw, I’m going for the team that has modeled its entire existence off of Auburn…

USCOCKS 17

Auburn of the North … sort of 23

ML

Come on Spur-Dog! We need all the help in our gay little BCS power rating. I hate college football sometimes. Visor man needs to deflect the distractions of various job opportunities and concentrate on stopping Clemzzzzon and CJ Spiller. The Cocks have not won one of these close games all year. Will they break that trend or will it be the story of their season?

Break it Cocks! 20

Scariest looking mascot ever 14

EGM

Not much defense will be featured in this battle of rednecks. I’m sure their will be talk of “heritage not hate” in the stands.

Cockadoodledoo 31

Clemzon 28

Florida at FSU (+10), 12

CB

Well, UF favored by double digits playing AWAY … sure a team that has been struggling … but a serious rival … I don’t know if I like that look. I mean, I am 100% sure that we are gonna win, but are we really gonna smoke them to the tune of a virtual blow out? … Hell why not? Sure Bowden is gonna have his team jacked, but what was he doing last year? This is the same bullshit team led by the same bullshit coaches … Even their fans have given up on the season, that’s one thing I know about FSU fans is that they are sell out bitches … I say go with the Gators (and this was a totally unbiased opinion)…riiiight

FLORIDA 35

STATE 14

ML

10 point favorites….on the road….in Tallaha$$ee. I never really thought I’d see this day, and to be honest, it is frightening. If the hapless Nole$ can’t get fired up for this, they have no soul. Thankfully, the strength of the Gators is F$U’s weakness. Our D-Line v. their O-Line, and the D-Line will dominate, sacking whoever is QB and forcing at least 3 turnovers. Our offense will finally put it all together and notch an impressive victory.

Fightin’ Gators 31

Hapless Nole$ 10

EGM

Florida $tate $ucks!

BCS? 31

Hello Boise 7

Kentucky at Tennessee (-18.5), 12:30

CB

HAHA UK had a fucking shootout last week against Louisiana Monroe. I don’t know if that’s a good sign for when they play the Vols in Knoxville. Eriq Ainge returned last week in huge fashion that spells trouble for the Mildcats bullshit defense. Kentucky’s offense is another story. They have the ability to score at will against shitty teams, so that will be the real trick…whether or not they can compete against a good group. I say no, but will they get it handed to them to the tune of 19 points? I need a good win here so I’m taking Kentucky with the spread…

Kensucky 17

Fulmer’s a bitch 30

ML

Phat Phil has never lost to the Mildcats. UK has a chance to go 8-4, and match the Vols record. This would truly be unprecedented. If this game were at Commonwealth stadium, and before Thanksgiving, I’d give UK a chance. But Phil will have already been fed and his mind will be acute. Rich Brooks has earned himself another year, but is this a good thing?

UK 17

UT 38

EGM

The Vols are much better with Ainge but KY has enough offense to keep this one under the number.

Rich Brooks new deal 21

Citrus Bowl 35

Mississippi State at Ole Miss (-3), 2

CB

The gayest name in College sports rivalries. This is the battle for the “Golden Egg”. Did some redneck see Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory one too many times? My God I just looked up some history of the Egg Bowl…it is so stupid … “supremacy in college football in the state of Mississippi” HAHAHA … The worst part is that with both of these teams sucking crank this year, this might be quite a competitive game … worth watching … then shooting yourself afterwards … don’t say I didn’t warn you…

Mess State 18

Ole Piss 21

ML

Ahhhh…the Egg Bowl! You can throw out the records when these two squads get together. I bet both fan bases wish they could.

Sly 19

The Orgeron 21

EGM

Take a shit on the pavement. Smash it with your foot. Let the sun warm it up. That’s this game.

Croom on fire 21

Orgeron not 20

Georgia Tech at Georgia (-1.5), 3:30

CB

Great, another fun game against two teams that I have zero interest in. Tech has been pretty solid all year with the exception of their total flake job against Clemson. UGA was total shite until they romper stomped Auburn handily two weeks ago. I mean freaking explain that to me…They lost to UT, not that big of a deal, as the Vols are decent, but then they blew I at home to Vandy… but even Vandy has their days … they of course lost to UF … but then to UK?!?! … I mean who loses to UK … Kentucky sucks ass … but then when it came time to roll into the Plains of Auburn, the Dawgs played like they were National Champ contenders … which they aren’t … now they are favored against a good team … how does one win a favorite make?? Anyways, … I think the Auburn game was a fluke … Tech will be gearing up for the ACC title game and what better way to hone your skeels than against an interstate rival?

Tech 16

UGA 13

ML

My god..Reggie “crackhead” Ball has a completion percentage of 47.4% and shit-head Stafford has 5 TDs and 12 INTs. The Dawgs had a bye week to savor their big victory over Au-buhn and prepare for their intrastate rivals. I feel like the Dawgs treat Tech like we treat them. Basically, they own the Engineers

Georgia…Blech 13

Dirty Dawgs 20

EGM

Georgia is playing tough again. There defense should have it way with Reggie Crackhead Ball.

Arthropods 13

Canines 21

This is Dylan, you know the drill! bourbonboyspicks@yahoo.com