Slate of Games, Week XIV

I guess that we will still pick the games this week despite the fact that I have clinched the picks title. The royal scepter of picks is now in the hands of a true champion.

Saturday, December 1, 2007

Tennessee vs LSU (-7.5), 4

Non-SEC GOTW

Oklahoma vs Missouri (+3), 1

Bourbon Boys Pick The SEC Week XIII

We had a email SNAFU but FAMOUS AMOS! has been added.

Malt Licker

It’s rivalry week football fans! Which also means it’s turkey day. My chances at victory hinge on this weekend. I need something like a 7-2 to have a chance to retake the league. Lord knows I’m due. Kudos to Famous Amos for stepping up as the first guest Bourbon Boy in quite some time, especially in light of the fact that his team just lost to La-Mo. I expect much bitterness about how Tebow turned down Shula and Bama for Urban and the Gator Nation.

Cuzzin’ Bailey

Well last week was bitter sweet. We got to see some badass records get broken by some stud Gators, but UGA also beat UK in a somewhat close game that ended the Gators hopes for a repeat at the SEC Championship Title. Oh well, things don’t always work out the way you want them to, you have to move on, I was trying not to end this sentence with a preposition, oh well, oh wait, there you go… damnit! Now the only question is who should we root for from the SEC East and why. Well we could root for UT since we beat them and that would be cool to be able to say we beat the East rep, but then that would fuck our (slim) chances of getting a BCS at-large bid, you know what, this is too depressing to talk about. FSU is this week, I hope we humiliate the Noles, they act like Tebow is garbage; I just don’t understand how that is possible. I mean are we all not seeing the same games?? Anyways, happy Thanksgiving, please don’t call it Turkey Day, that is so gay…

El Gran Mono

Mmmm turkey. I love eating turkey and watching some football. But who doesn’t? I bet Tim Tebow eats two turkeys for Thanksgiving and washes it does with three gallons of milk. As for the games this week, its rivalry time. Mucho personal fouls and big hits. Hatred and discontent. Drinking and debauchery. Extending two game leads…let’s get it on.

Famous Amos!

Gentlemen, thank you for allowing me to be a guest Bourbon Boy again this year. I’ve been fortunate enough to be a guest several times over the past five years, but unfortunately I’ve missed every Iron Bowl pick. I was hoping with this year’s new Alabama coach, Jesus Paul “Bear” Saban, that it would be different. But after last weekend’s loss to a Division 5 school, I fear the worst on Saturday. Before we get to the picks, let’s look at the BCS standings as they currently sit. Could Kansas, Missouri, or West Virginia last two weeks in the SEC? Not a chance. Lastly, here’s a name that will probably show up in next year’s post: Julio Jones. Write it down. Remember it.

We’ve had another GREAT season of SEC football, now on to the picks!

Friday, November 23, 2007

Ole Miss @ Mississippi State (-7), 12:30

ML

Ahhh…my favorite rivalry game this side of Oregon’s “Civil War,” the Battle for the Golden Egg. This game used to be played exclusively at Jackson’s Veteran’s Memorial Stadium, because the two campus stadiums had capacities below 42,000. Sly’s krewe finds themselves already bowl eligible, favored, and at home. Anything less than a victory will be a disappointment. There is a big difference between 7-5 and 6-6. Meanwhile, Orgeron must feel like he’s being led to the top of a Mayan pyramid going into this game. A loss and he may find himself heartless as well as jobless.

Beep…beep…beep…beep………………. 17

A winning record????? 20

CB

Golden Egg bowl. Until about four weeks ago, I honestly thought that the Rebels were at least going to have a chance at winning this game. The only thing they have going for them is the fact that is a big rivalry. If this were just another douchebag game, then the Dawgs would be favored by double digits.

Rebs 10

Dawgs 20

EGM

Ahh, the Egg Bowl. I like my eggs slightly scrambled, slightly fried and sprinkled with Cajun seasoning. I bet Ed Orgeron eats eggs for pre-breakfast. Speaking of shitty Ed, how the hell is he not getting fired? Apparently the Ole Miss powers-that-be love this guy. Maybe they are just giving up and focusing their efforts on trying to understand one sentence written by William Faulkner. Miss State has the more impressive record but I don’t think they are that much better than the Rebs. I really doubt that Sly’s bowl bound krew should be favored by seven against anyone outside of the Big Ten. I’m actually gonna say this…sigh…Brent Schaeffer keeps this close.

Rebs 17

Dawgs 23

FA

Does anyone care? Well, besides the entire state of Mississississippi? If you’re kidnapped and forced to watch this game, be sure to catch #74 on the Ole Miss O-line – Michael Oher. I recently finished the book, The Blind Side, by Michael Lewis. Great book that follows this 6-6, 322 lb. kid from homeless in Tennessee to a guaranteed first-round NFL pick. BUT, despite being recruited from all the major power houses, he goes to Ole Miss?! I hope you can find him on the field, because he’ll be the only interesting thing in Shaggy Hair Bowl 07.

Michael Oher – 17

Piss State - 14

Arkansas @ Louisiana State (-12), 2:30

ML

Whoo hoo the “Battle for the Golden Boot” pits Nutt, McFadden & Co. vs. the number 1 team in all the land. This is a relatively new rivalry, the Golden boot was only introduced in 1996. This is an awesome trophy: Golden Boot. It weighs 175 pounds and is believed to be the heaviest trophy in college football, and quite possibly the universe. (No trophy wife would ever weigh more than this). For those geographically It is the outline of Louisiana and Arkansas, so it does look like a boot. Just awesome. It has been rumored that one of my favorite coaches…nay people, in all the land is leaving Fayetteville. It’s interesting how this surfaced weeks before primary season. Dare to dream.

Keeping it close for Nutt in ’08 31

Escaping again 34

CB

The only thing riding on this game for me is that the Tigers just need to keep winning to make sure the Buckeyes don’t back door their way into the National Title game. In re: to the game, I could see this one being a little closer than the 12 point spread. Not that Arkansas has really done anything to warrant my faith in the past few weeks. Sure they beat up on the recently surprising MSU Bulldogs last week, but they really got lucky covering that spread at all. I don’t know I just find it very difficult to say that Darren McFadden is through. I have this ridiculous feeling that the Razorbacks are gonna play their fucking hearts out on Friday. I am totally giving away any ground I have made up in the past few weeks, aren’t I, eh screw that, Rage on Cajuns…

Ark 18
LSUsers 31

EGM

One maxim taken from this year: Arkansas is bad on the road. Well, at least 2/3 times because they only play four road games this year. What a waste. LSU had a better defense last year and Arkansas kept the game close with some huge McFadden runs and a kickoff return. After the Vols shut down Arkansas, I have less faith in them. Especially since Jones is hurt. As good as McFadden is, Jones allows him to absorb less carries. Casey Dick is just terrible and so is the Arkansas secondary. Matt Flynn should pick them apart as he is much healthier. This game is almost a steal. Houston Nutt is finished in the SEC as of c. 5:00 PM CST. Run for prez Houston!

Possible POUS 17

Possible Nat’l Champs 31

FA

SEC football at its finest! Auburn had their foot on LSU’s throat, Alabama had a chance to beat them, but LSU has escaped the SEC this year and have a #1 spot in the country as a reward. I don’t anticipate Arkansas can do anything to stop this train, but it’s always fun to watch McFadden. Speaking of McFadden, have you seen his car? He looks like a really BIG Kanye West, but even with the Good Life on his side, they won’t have enough to stop LSU.

Nat’l Champs – 35

Gimme that Nutt -- 21

Saturday, November 24, 2007

Tennessee @ Kentucky (-2.5), 1:30

ML

PC alert!!!! I could be talking about the Beer Barrel right now. Unfortunately this moniker was stripped away after some schlub from UK died in an “alcohol related incident.” Shit happens, people die. It’s no reason to take away the joy of seeing 75 football players dance around a beer barrel. Kentucky blew it against UGA last week, and UT saved their season with a dramatic comeback over Vandy. Can they save Phat Phil’s job with a win in Lexington????

Phat head on the chopping block 24

Peach Bowl bound 31

CB

Where were you KY? Thanks for totally fucking laying down like a bunch of little bitches. I hope Andre Woodson’s draft status has dropped dramatically. I mean all I wanted from the Wildcats was one (and then another) measly victory against and smoking hot UGA team, and what did they do, totally blow it. Screw Kentucky. Oh yea, I guess I’m gonna root for them though. If UT goes to the SEC Championship game, then the only other SEC team that would have an outside shot at a BCS bowl game would be UGA and I really hate the Bulldogs.

UT 22

UK 21

EGM

It’s official. I hate Georgia more than any other team. For a team that lost two games they are the cockiest bunch of douchebags on earth. Back to this game, I’m openly rooting for the Vols to win the East. I’d much rather see them play LSU than watch UGA play another game and watch there players celebrate 2 yard gains. As for KY, I’ve given Woodson too much credit. The guy holds on to the ball WAY too long and takes sacks like they are a positive stat. He will get his yards against the shaky but improved UT defense. However, in the end its doubtful that the Mildcats will stop the Vols on more than two possessions. The Beer Barrel will be property of the Vols.

Hello ATL 21

Hello Music City Bowl 17

FA

This should be a good after lunch Saturday football game: with a win, Rocky Top has a shot in the SEC title game and Kentucky is trying to get their mojo back after dropping 4 of the last 6 games. Does everyone remember the Tide ROLLLING all over Rocky Top earlier this year? Ha-Ha! Suck it Fat Phil! The almost lost last weekend to Vandy, so I’m going with Kentucky. I just hope the football team isn’t already waiting for March Madness like the rest of the school and state.

Al Gore’s home state -- 17

Are we playing basketball yet? – 35

Wake Forest @ Vanderbilt (+1.5), 2

ML

None of these teams have a rivalry with anyone in football. How depressing. Can Vanderbilt get over their blown W in Neyland and win one for SEC pride?

Pissed off Preachers 20

Dorks 22

CB

Under normal circumstances I would probably root for an SEC team against an ACC opponent, but this week I must follow my allegiance for the disdain I feel for Vandie. Wake has never really done anything offensive to me, whereas Vanderbilt’s simple existence is enough to boil my blood. Dang, Wake had a very nice winning streak going on this year, maybe my favoritism isn’t the only reason I should pull for the Deacs. On a side note, how less impressive does that win over Nebraska look in retrospect, I guess its better that Wake lost that game so they wouldn’t have looked back on the game and thought, “man look at how great we were” and then have to realize they were wrong cause the Huskers suck. Did that make sense? Anyways, that was bizarre, let’s go

Wake!

Wake Skanks 23

Vandy ‘Doremats 19

EGM

Mac Adams and the Commodes gave the Vols all they can handle. Wake Forest is not the team of destiny that they were last year. They count on the short pass and a controlled running game. Vandy eats that kind of shit for breakfast….especially when they have library access on a Friday night.

ACC Demons 17

13^th Bowl Eligible SEC team 24

FA

WOW! – Why isn’t this game on TV? Kidding…kidding. Vandy almost kicked Fat Phil’s team last weekend and I bet they’ll rebound this weekend. Wake has turned out to have a decent season, but Vandy will be fired up to play in front of the dozens and dozens of fans in Vanderbilt Stadium.

Shake and Wake! – 20

Dandy Vandy -- 27

Georgia @ Georgia Tech (+3.5), 3:30

ML

Man…I never knew this game was dubbed “Clean, Old-Fashioned Hate.” Which is incredibly fitting because it describes my feelings toward Mark “The Prick” Richt and just about every UGA fan around. Maybe he was on to something with his ongoing manufactured intensity fest, because with it absent last week, the puppies got off to a sluggish start. Richt must have painted his wife as a UK co-ed and had Knowshon, Stafford, Massaquoi and company queue up some bukkake. He may have even joined in. I can’t believe UGA is only a 3.5 point favorite. I thought Tech sucked? Let me confirm this…oh yea they do….UGA rolls to their 7^th straight win in this rivalry.

Katharyn Richt = Walking STD culture 31

Chan Gailey = Dead Man Walking 17

CB

HAHA so some total jerkwater Dawg fan was at the bar last weekend watching the UK game with his prissy girlfriend and no shit he was wearing the UGA uniform. Red shirt, red had, khaki pants (highwaters too, what a fag), croakies for his sunglasses and the absolute kicker was one of those puffy vest type things that looks like sleeveless ski jacket!!! It was classic, oh yea, and not only was he total douche, but he got all upset with us making fun of him, he “didn’t have time for this.” It was priceless. If my team was winning and some mega-sore losers were bashing what I was wearing, I would have made a special point to stay there and celebrate in front of them. I mean he “didn’t have time for this,” he might as well have told us to “hush” or to “quit sassing him.” HAHA it made my day to seem him act like such a puss. Oh yea, I’m taking Jawga in this one, I mean just cause their fans are either total hicks or total pricks doesn’t mean their boys don’t know how to play ball!

UGA 28

GA TECH 20

EGM

This line is a joke. I really don’t like UGA but this is a joke. Georgia Tech is a gimmick blitzing team and they are playing a power run / playaction pass team. I smell mismatch. Additionally, GaTech’s offense is pathetic (sorry E) and the sad ass UGA defense will stop them easily.

Jackasses 24

Ramblin’ Wreck 7

FA

I like what Richt is doing at UGA this year. The black jerseys against AW-burn helped the Dawgs bring their A-game. I know it won’t gain me any friends among this group, but the entire team celebrating the TD against Florida looked like an Under Armour commercial:

Will you dance in the endzone? I will! I will!

Tech hasn’t been same since without Calvin Johnson and they’ve lost 6 straight to dem Dawgs. I’m going with UGA and the endzone dancers.

Ramblin Wreck – 13

How bout dem Dawgs? – 27

Florida State @ Florida (-14), 5

ML

Apparantly this is called the Sunshine Showdown. I’ve never heard this before. Perhaps I have been blinded by my hatred for F$U. Perhaps I was drunk. Perhaps no one else on Earth knew this either. None of it matters. What matters is that Tebow has his full complement of weapons for the first time this year. Geno Hayes provided bulletin board material for Timmy and the Gators this week with his declaration that “Tebow is going down.” None of this matters either. Timmy is so self-motivated that he doesn’t need bulletin board material. When I first saw this line, I thought F$U’s tough D might make this a close game. Despite being terrified by the loss of Joe Haden and the prospect of Jacques Rickerson seeing the field, I think the emotion of the Swamp will rattle F$U’s shit-bag offense and the Gators will roll.

You ain’t playing Bama 17

HE15MAN 44

CB

Good lord this game opened at 14?? After Geno Hayes said that they were basically gonna do their best to hurt Tebow, I’m sure the spread has dropped significantly. I mean they are gonna stop Tebow by any means necessary so that must mean its gonna work cause when the Nole set out to injure an opposing player, history has shown us that they mean it. I have to wonder though. Was it really the smartest thing to come out and say that they were gonna do it? I mean what if by some chance Hayes takes a cheap shot on TT and it actually hurts him? Will they just let it go because good ol’ Bobby is a saint? Anyways, enough of that, I just saw William Floyd (former FSU FB) on SunSports and he basically just said that, sure Florida has Tebow and he’s great, and Bubba Caldwell and he’s great, and other great players, but that doesn’t make them great. Basically he just said that the Gators have great players but they aren’t great. I love that guy! I guess I’ll take the great Gators over the shitty Noles any day of the week…Esp this Saturday.

FSU 13

FLORIDA 29

EGM

Good guys versus the bad guys. What else is there to say? I truly believe that FSU has the most talent in the ACC but is constantly wasting it. Drew Weatherford actually looks half ass these days. Unfortunately, they are playing Tebow and he is the best. That sounds biased. And it most certainly is, but the guy is fucking crazy good. Not just the running, but the passing. He’s spot fucking on. Gators…easy, like an FSU chick.

Sluts 20

Classy 38

FA

Who would have thought a home-schooled kid QB would carry a team to a National Championship, through the SEC, and have his sights on the Heisman? Well, Tim Tebow is the REAL deal. The Gators have a deadly combination this weekend: the chosen one at QB and playing in The Swamp. I expect the Gators to put on an offense show for the millions watching on CBS Saturday evening. Hopefully after this game we won’t have to hear the words “South Florida” again….ever.

Home-schoolers – 42

Criminoles - 31

Clemson @ South Carolina (+2.5), 7

ML

No trophy for this game either. One would think the Battle for the Palmetto State would offer up Stonewall Jackson’s decapitated arm as a trophy for being the best team in the Secession State. The Cocks have completely fallen off after a promising start and much preseason hype. The only time I watched Clemzzzon was when they ran all over F$U. That was like 200 days ago. This is a pretty even matchup, and I anticipate that El Gran Mono will take South Carolina to tweak his in-laws, I shall choose the opposite

Purple Tigers 27

Beaten Cocks 21

CB

You know how I said I would typically not root for an ACC school over an SEC school? Well I guess you can forget all about that. I really, really, really dislike Sorth Carolina, and I have a general sense of indifference toward Clemzin. I really enjoyed their campus and always had fun visiting up there, but I really don’t care if they win or lose. The same can’t be said for the Gamecocks. They are always so fucking, forgive me, cocky, generally without warrant and it just drives me nuts. It drove me to drink the few times I have been there (yea that was it). Anyways, I have no faith in their ability to stop anything or anyone, and that is why I am going with Clemzin’s dual running attack (presumably they are both still healthy of course, see didn’t I mention indifference?), as well as their QB who seems to be doing quite well, as…well. The Cocks have showed me nothing.

Tigers 19

Cocks 16

EGM

Battle for the Palmetto State. Spurdog versus Bowden. That last statement says it all. Last week, against BC, Tommy “Handsome One” Bowden blew the game with shitbox playcalling. While I will admit that Spurdog has his offdays, he’s ten times the coach that Ol’ Tommy is. I’ll take the 2.5 at home even if SC can’t stop the run.

Tiggers like to bounce 13

Cocks like to… 21

FA

Unless there is another bench-clearing brawl before/during/after this game, I doubt this game will have much excitement for us. Clemson almost had BC last weekend, so expect them to come out firing for some redemption. The ‘Ol Ballcoach always has his team ready, but Clemson will be too much for them. South Carolina just doesn’t have the talent.

Hey Florida fans – now do you realize how much everyone else in the country LOVED watching Spurrier throw this visor down in disgust?

Visor boy - 17

Clemson – 24

Alabama @ Auburn (-6), 7

ML

Arrrrrrrrrrrnnnnn Bowl!!!!! Man, I have the opportunity to permanently enshrine myself in the Asshole Hall of Fame, but even yours truly can’t make late of the tragedy involving former Bama RB Siran Stacy. My heart goes out to him and his family. However, my heart does not go out to Satan and the rest of his minions. He has already cemented himself into the Asshole hall of fame. Imagine if he said losing to La-Mo was worse than the day the Bear died? Auburn has kind of owned Bama of late and I see this trend continuing. John Parker Wilson is overrated and the Plainsmen D will eat him up like Thanksgiving turkey

Crisis Mode 13

Plain faggots 27

CB

I GUESS this game could be as close as 6 points. I mean it’s the “Iron Bowl” and all. But hasn’t Bama just imploded as of late? They’ve lost three straight and the most recent was the most heinous of them all. Louisiana-Monroe for God’s sake!! I mean I picked the Tide not to cover, but I never in my wildest dreams thought they would lose. Its gotten so bad that Nick Saban has compared these recent events to 9/11 and to Pearl Harbor. I supposed its not good to lose in Tuscaloosa, but has it really gotten that bad Satan? Perhaps that was a little bit inappropriate. Anyways, I was gonna try and go this whole issue without talking about football once, but I am a little freaked out by Satans comments to say anything too funny. It looks like Bama is getting the Tigers at a good time. Bran-done Cox was trying to forget about his awful performance against Georgia last year so he had another pitiful showing this year, I guess that worked. Look if the Tide can cut their mistakes down and play tough defense against Auburn, I not only think they can cover, but I think they can win. However, I think its highly unlikely that the Alabama’s players have anything left in the old confidence locker. Let the Tigers get ahead too early and it could be a long night for the Elephants.

Bummer 17

Aw-barn 24

EGM

I’rn Bowl. My dip spit is biggr’nyurs. Saban is gonna find out what happens when you lose to Auburn. JPW is crap and is regressing as you read this. The Plainsmen can stop the run and that leaves no option for Bamer. It’s like Pearl Harbor…

Because we suck 10

Because we are like Japs 21

FA

The Tide started off the season with HIGH hopes and then the UGA OT loss and the close LSU loss sucked the life out of the team. Last Saturday was a low point for all Crimson Tide fans: the team the Bear built lost to LA-Monroe. Y’all might have seen Saban’s recent comments got him a little bit of hot water. Well, I agree with him 100%. That was a loss that can’t happen and can’t be tolerated. It’s time we all get together, cowboy up and go run over the AW-Bern Tigers. We can’t let them get six in a row!

My last five Iron Bowl predictions have been wrong, so maybe this year the reverse Guest Bourbon Boy prediction will help out BAMA.

This hurts to write this. I hate Auburn, but the Tide is on a tough skid.

Saban’s Tide – 18

Udder Armour -- 27

Non-SEC GOTW

Missouri @ Kansas (-2), 12

ML

The Border Showdown has not meant this much since the 1860s. Chase Daniel will have Brody Jenner and the rest of the Laguna Beach crew rooting him on fervently. Kansas has a stud QB of their own in Reesing. But let’s be honest, the real star of the show is morbidly obese Mark Mangino. Can this fat fuck do the impossible and lead Kansas to an undefeated season? The entire nation will be watching. Not only that, the series is tied at 53 between these two mediocre programs. So much at stake!!!!

Mizzou 31

What curse of #2? 37

CB

Damn, both of these schools have been tearing shit up this year. Mizzou’s only loss this year was to Oklahoma, a team that Kansas hasn’t had to play (yet) this year. With KU and Sooner wins this weekend then that will be case. The Tigers and the Jayhawks have had incredible years, and this game is really as close as the spread implies. A mistake here or there could spell disaster for either team because that is all that will be needed. The curse of the number 2 slot in the polls this year is still in play as KU has to win this game and then go to the Big 12 Championship to make it to New Orleans for the National Championship game, but if they look ahead, they may even get fucked (however unlikely) out of a BCS at-large berth. I say its hard to pick against a team that is as red hot as Kansas right now. They are undefeated, they can still look forward to next week to losing they chance at glory. Rock, Chalk beyatch!

Tigers 30

Jayhawks 33

EGM

Huge game for Nat’l Title implication. Mizzou has to win to stay in the mix and Kansas is trying to prove everyone wrong. Except Vegas apparently, who has the Jayhawks favored by 2. I like the slave state a bit more than Vegas. Chase Daniel is fucking stud. If he or Reesing wins the Heisman, I’ll be cool. Yes, despite naming either player last week, I’m good with either of them. Watch this game, lots of offense and the Confederacy wins this time. I bet Mangino will have a full service buffet on the sidelines to satisfy his hunger pangs.

Jhonny Reb 31

John Browns 28

FA

Wow, two teams that wouldn’t last a month in the SEC are playing for a shot at the National Championship? Doesn’t this happen about this time every year?

This should be a good match-up, but can anyone believe Game Day is in Kansas City, Mo. at the end of November? What a crazy football season!

We’ve watched the #2 CURSE take down teams all season, so I don’t expect this weekend to be any different. Mizzou over the Jayhawks.

#2 Cursed Jayhawks – 28

Mizzou -- 31

Week XIII Slate of Games

Good ol' Famous Amos will be chipping in this penultimate week of BBoys Pick The SEC 2007.

Friday, November 23, 2007

Ole Miss @ Mississippi State (-7), 12:30

Arkansas @ Louisiana State (-12), 2:30

Saturday, November 24, 2007

Tennessee @ Kentucky (-2.5), 1:30

Wake Forest @ Vanderbilt (+1.5), 2

Georgia @ Georgia Tech (+3.5), 3:30

Florida State @ Florida (-14), 5

Clemson @ South Carolina (+2.5), 7

Alabama @ Auburn (-6), 7

Non-SEC GOTW

Missouri @ Kansas (-2), 12

Bourbon Boys Pick The SEC Week XII

El Gran Mono

I will use my intro to make one statement. Tim Tebow is the best player in the country. If you have not seen him play, then you are missing out. Yes, I’m a homer, but I’m not a Cuzzin’ Bailey homer. The guy is not just an incredible runner but possibly the best passer in the country. Watch him, every throw is on the money. There are only two players that I could deal with beating him out for the Heisman: Dennis Dixon and Darren McFadden. They are incredible, much like Tebow. The Gators weren’t robbed when Eric Crouch beat Grossman, they were raped. If the award isn’t for sophomores and freshman then they should add that to the criteria. If anyone other than Dixon, Tebow or McFadden wins the award, then I vow to never talk about it again. On to the picks…

Malt Licker

Memo to Mike Patrick and Todd Blackledge, the reason UF kept handing the ball to Tebow is because everyone else we hand it to likes to fumble the ball. Kestahn, B-James, and Fayson have demonstrated that fumbling comes as natural to them as scoring Touchdowns does to Tebow. Therefore, the reason we keep giving the ball to Tebow is because we don’t want to lose. We were up 13 with 5 minutes left, which is not insurmountable, especially if you fumble the ball. Maybe you should stop talking about Todd’s “Taste of the Town” and instead focus on the real story, mainly, why UF doesn’t have another serviceable running back. I see Chevon Walker has transferred, and we have moved Manson back to RB. I’m still trying to figure out why CJ Spiller and/or Antone Smith decided to languish in ACC mediocrity instead of coming to God’s Country. In other games, the Gators are again counting on help to make it to Atlanta. This time it is from Kentucky and Vanderbilt. I’m really glad Auburn decided to suck and not come through for us (yet again). Have they ever beaten UGA when we truly needed it?

Cuzzin’ Bailey

It feels so great that we went into Williams-Bryce last Saturday night and humiliated the coach formerly known as the “Ol’ Ball Coach.” (he now prefers the “Head Ball Coach”). Anyways, thanks to Arkansas and Auburn playing like JV squads last week, all the Gators hopes of making it to Hot-lanta are riding on Kentucky for the most part. Its kind of disappointing to be honest. Oh yea, speaking of something other than this, Hershel Walker called out Spurrier to “get in the ring” after Steve’s comments about sending 3^rd stringers into start a fight and get all of the UGA team ejected if they tried a bush league play on him. First of all, what fucking rock has HW been hiding under and, and secondly, who gives a shit that some has-been RB is trying to get his name in the paper by threatening a dude 20 years his senior. HAHA class is just spewing out of the Dawg camp from all angles….

Florida Atlantic @ Florida (-34), 12

EGM

Is it possible that Florida Atlantic will score more points than FSU next week? Quite. The only really interesting thing about this game is how long Meyer will let Sir Tebow pad his stats.

Hooters 17

Gators 50

ML

This should be a game where people question if Tebow is running counters with 5 minutes left. Hopefully, he won’t have to play at all in the second half and we can see what Cameron Newton can do. Percy is still ailing with some sort of strange illness. You’d think the Shands medical team would have a diagnosis by now. Do we have to call Dr. Gregory House? The potential lack of Harvin and the fact that FAU isn’t awful spell a cover for the Owls.

Stuffed Owls 20

Timmy the Taxidermist 49

CB

Huge win last week to finish out our SEC regular season. This week, it’s a bit of a different story. Sure its another Sun-Belt opponent (because USF bailed out of their commitment this year), but its not your typical shitty school coach. This week Howard Schnellenberger returns to Florida Field. The former Miami head coach was the original “run up the score because of spite” guy. Everyone talks about Spur-dawg for dropping 50 on UGA in Athens in 1995, but no one seems to remember Schnelly popping a field goal as time was winding down against the Gators in 1980, when all he had to do was run the clock out. He claims the Gator students were throwing Oranges at his players, boo-fucking-hoo, they were wearing pads!! Oh and so what if a few cheerleaders took some citrus in the mug, they were probably too coked up to feel it. This was the ‘80s people! This was MIAMI for God’s sake! Anyways, I know zero about the Owls and the only thing I ever want to know about them is how they got so embarrassed by the UF team in 2007 that they decided to disband their football squad.

FAU 10

UF 50

Kentucky @ Georgia (-7.5), 12:30

EGM

KY holds the key to the destiny of the SEC East. If they can beat up on UGA and the Vols then the Mighty Gators win the East and will seek their revenge over the Cardiac Cajuns. KY is tough, but I don’t think they can stop the Dawgs fierce running game. Moreno and Brown should tear the KY defense apart while Woodson should match them score for score until the end. Underbite King, Dicky Lyons should also run wild. There won’t be many stops all around but I usually take a strong running game over a strong passing game. As for the cover…

Rich Brooks, rebuilder extraordinaire 28

Mark Pricht, supertanned asshole 35

ML

What will The Prick do this week to manufacture some enthusiasm in Athens? Sacrifice a cougar at mid-field and roll around naked in its blood with his whore wife? Unfortunately, he doesn’t have to manufacture anything to hand the ball off to Knowshon Moreno, who is facing off against one of the conferences worst run defenses. The only thing we can hope for is a blown out knee from Knowshon and a Herculean effort from Woodson. Kentucky needs to score 35 to win this game.

Not enough run stoppers 28

Blowing it open late 42

CB

GO CATS! I don’t think I can make that any clearer. I mean at least if UGA loses and UT wins out, the asshole Bulldogs will be left at home licking themselves. However as much as I am rooting for an upset here, I have to be smart. After the way Jawga manhandled the Gators and took Auburn behind the proverbial woodshed (to do God knows what to them), I think this Dog/Cat match-up is gonna wind up like one would expect in the wild, with a very dead feline. Oh yea, props to Mark Richt for becoming one of the most gimmicky coaches in recent major college memory.

UK 19

UGA 28

Mississippi State @ Arkansas (-11), 2

EGM

Sly Croom, what a fucking coach eh? By the way, Miss State went to a bowl pretty much every year for quite a long time. Then Jackie Sherrill gave up at the end of his career, stopped recruiting and Sly Croom thought it would be a grand idea to run the West Coast offense in the SEC with converted wide receiver QBs. What a comeback! That guy deserves a raise or maybe ten shots to the head with a tackhammer. But guess what folks, get ready for the ESPN barrage of Black Coach in the SEC in a bowl game hype. Maybe Croom will even get a spot on the Budwesier “Not So Hot” Seat. Seriously, how hard is it to answer questions from metrosexual, 130 lbs Mike Greenberg. Houston Nutt is history and likely will end up coaching at Baylor, West Texas State or Gardner-Webb. I made a big mistake in picking Arkansas to beat Tennessee last week as they have not defeated any half ass teams on the road all year. Guess what, they are at home.

West Coast Offense 14

McFadden Right, Jones Left 31

ML

Arkansas really laid an egg last week as well. They were never in the game against UT and proved that decent teams can stop 1 dimensional teams. Especially if said decent team can score. Sly’s boys upset his alma mater and took some of the gloss off the “Saban is God” take in Tuscaloosa. Can the cowbells avoid a letdown and cement the demise of Houston Nutt? Once again this game will come down to stopping the run. This game is being played at War Memorial Stadium in Little Rock. If I ever own some sort of franchise, you can bet my stadium will incorporate the word War into it. I believe Arkansas has a ridiculous record while playing in Little Rock. Felix Jones might be out, but Arkansas usually covers as a favorite.

You’ll still be bowl eligible 17

McFadden Heisman push 33

CB

After last weeks total meltdown by the Razorbacks, I dare you to show me an all SEC game that I could care less about. I can’t tell you how pissed I am at Arkansas. D-Mac runs for a buck and change and had a shitty game, haha. I hope they fire Houston Nutt faster than he can ask for seconds at Thanksgiving. Props to MSU last week though. I swear I didn’t see that coming at all; maybe having a bye week after a huge win is a good thing for them. It also appears that they currently own Alabama, beat ‘em two years in a row, they’re pretty much responsible for Mike Shula getting canned, and now they beat Satan, is there anything they can’t do? I would say beat the Hogs this week. Maybe they’ll cover though.

MSU 13

ARK 23

Vanderbilt @ Tennessee (-11.5), 2

EGM

Vandy played KY quite tough last week. They encounter a slightly less dynamic offense from UT but on the road, away from their library. Arkansas lacks any defense whatsoever and Vandy should put up a much bigger fight against the Vols. After watching, JPW and TT tear apart the greenhorn Vol secondary, I’m betting Mackenzi Adams should toss for a few yards himself. However, the Vandy defense is much too far away from their cherished leather bound copy of Principia Mathematica and they will get torched.

More like Commodes 21

One more, and Phil keeps his job 33

ML

Now the nightmare scenario would be for UT to lose a game and for UGA to beat UK. As much as I hate the great pumpkin and Vol fans, it pales in comparison to my disdain for Richt and UGA. Vandy hung tough with Kentucky, but are still looking for one more win to become the 11^th Bowl eligible team in the conference. It won’t come this week, as Phat Phil will move to 14-1 overall against Vander-dork.

Better beat Wake 14

Atlanta bound???? 28

CB

At least this game has some meaning involved. The Vols seriously need this victory if/when UGA wins their game. UT totally shut down the Razorbacks one dimensional offense last week and now its time to stop another one. Vandy can’t run, they can sort of pass, but if they aren’t staring down Bennett, then they are throwing short shit that only works when the QB gets “hit” out of bounds. And when I say hit, I mean not hit. UTs got a lot to play for, and Vandy really needs a win to become Bowl eligible. They have the Wake Skanks next week so that will be a better match up. I like UT big in this one.

Vandy 12

Big Orange 31

Louisiana-Monroe @ Alabama (-25), 2:30

EGM

The battle for the Sun Belt crown continues throughout the SEC.

Warhawks 10

Tide 38

ML

LaMo could be walking into a buzzsaw, what with the Tide having lost its 2^nd in a row to lowly MSU. The key to the Tide this year has been JP Wilson “aka Mr. Magnolia 2005” and his mercurial accuracy. In Bama’s 4 losses JP has completed 48.6, 52.8, 47.1 and 35% of his passes. In their W’s, his average completion percentage is over 60. None of this matters, since Bama will be pissed off and shall take out its aggression on lowly LaMo.

Im sorry LaMont!!! 3

Bring on Awbarn 38

CB

HAHA after I gave props to Miss. St. for the big win, now I get to slam Bama for losing to such a joke of a team last week. JPW should rest assured that he pretty much lost the game for the Tide last week. Now they have a cupcake to beat up on, but something, I don’t know what it is, tells me they aren’t gonna exactly come out with any fire after being humiliated by the West Dawgs. Still, what if they decide to take out their frustrations from last week, shit I said that last time, didn’t I? Shit, I’m sure Bama will win, but even closer than Lee Corso believes.

LA-Mon 17

Bammer 35

Louisiana State @ Ole Miss (+19), 3:30

EGM

Ed Orgeron is history. He ruined what respect David Cutcliffe maintained post-Tuberville. Ole Miss will likely go through the SEC winless after Sly Croom pushes their shit in. Lay the 19, LOCK IT UP!

Good 41

Not Good 10

ML

Jesus, this is the CBS game of the week? Are they kidding me? Verne and Gary must be thrilled to be able to spend 4+ hours schlobbing Hester’s knob. Whatever you do, don’t dance. Ole Miss is winless in the conference and coming off a bye week. The real contest is to whether or not the point Ole Miss scores will eclipse the number of “hot-chick references” in Cuzzin’ Bailey’s picks.

Michigan Bound 34

Cutcliffe anyone? 10

CB

Conversation overheard in the Grove: Hey did y’all hear there’s another game this weekend. Oh yea, who alls playin’? Ole Miss and LSU, I think. Eh, let’s just stay here and drink. – I mean can you blame them? The Rebs are 0-6 with nothing, absolutely nothing to play for, I think the Tigers are gonna stomp the hell out of Mississippi. I really like these points.

LSU 30

Ole Miss 10

Auburn – OFF

EGM

Very little drinking.

ML

Lick your wounds and prepare to sack JP Wilson 15 times next week. Thanks for nothing!

CB

I have nothing to say to the team that helped ruin our SEC season and then didn’t try and make amends by beating UGA.

South Carolina – OFF

EGM

Spurrier licking some serious wounds.

ML

I hear the weather in Augusta is gorgeous this time of year.

CB

I hate Spurrier.

Non-SEC GOTW

Ohio State at Michigan (+4.5), 12

EGM

I need to get this off my chest. THE BIG TEN SUCKS! They may not suck every year BUT THEY SUCK THIS YEAR. Watching Ohio State’s juggernaut team get screwed by a Ron Zook team was incredible. I’m so glad I don’t have to watch an overrated Buckeyes team lose again in the National Championship. Sucks to be a Buckeye fan, sucks even more to live in the shithole commonly referred to as “Columbus”. As for the game, Michigan is terrible yet they have only lost one Big Ten game. What does that mean? Hmmmm, THE BIG TEN SUCKS. Ohio State is much better than Michigan and this game will reduce Lloyd Carr to tears. This could be this easiest pick of the year.

Buckeyes 38

Wolverines 14

ML

Man, that Big Ten is so rough and tough. It took the Zooker 3 years to place himself in the top third of the conference. He has proven that all you need to be effective in this league is to realize it’s the 21^st century. Recruit speed, spread people out and take some chances and you have a 10 point advantage before the game starts against the Iowa and Wisconsins of the world. Lloyd Carr granted 90% of Wolverines fans’ wishes and is retiring at the end of the year. This opens the door for Les Miles, who will be another coach bringing the SEC style to cornfield land. Michigan’s seniors have never beaten Capt. Sweatervest and are dying to do so. Is it possible Carr sacrificed the game against Wisco to rest up Henne and Hart? After all, this is the greatest rivalry in the history of this or any other universe, so I would not put it past him. Will it pay off?

SuckEyes 20

Big Blue 21

CB

Hooray for Ron Zook. Actually I’m kidding, while I’m glad that his Illini beat the Buckeyes last week, I hate how everyone is praising him for “taking the high road” when he didn’t talk smack about UF firing him after this upset. I mean Illinois beat a somewhat overrated team like many people at least believed they could do. Then he doesn’t talk shit about being fired by UF after bringing that program down a few pegs, so he is commended? Since when are you congratulated for not talking shit about a situation you have no right to talk shit about? Fucking Big 10. I hate it so. This game was selected this week purely by default. Although according to Kirk Herbstreit it’s the best rivalry in College Football and possibly Sports in general. That is laughable. This game now has zero national implications which puts the conference in the same league as such titans as the Big (L)East, and the ACC!!! What company!! Remember the days when Michigan owned OSU? I say let’s revert back to those good ol’ days just one more time. Go Blue, well sort of.

OSU 23

MICH 21

Week XII Slate of Games

Florida Atlantic @ Florida (-34), 12

Kentucky @ Georgia (-7.5), 12:30

Mississippi State @ Arkansas (-11), 2

Vanderbilt @ Tennessee (-11.5), 2

Louisiana-Monroe @ Alabama (-25), 2:30

Louisiana State @ Ole Miss (+19), 3:30

Non-SEC GOTW Suggestions

Boston College @ Clemson (-7), 7:45

Okalahoma @ Texas Tech (+9), 8

Bourbon Boys Pick The SEC Week XI

Cuzzin’ Bailey

Big win last week! I was there so I have no problem taking full credit. Somehow, on a wing and a prayer, the Gators are still in the SEC East hunt. Just need a little help from Arkansas and Auburn this weekend. I won’t be able to make it to South Carolina this weekend and let’s just say that is a good thing. Every time I go there it takes a few years off my life. Its lots of fun, but I rarely end up remembering the game, and that’s probably a bad thing. Go Gators and Happy B-day to BDA. We’ll be celebratin’ in the Keys beyatch!

El Gran Mono

Last week was just another crazy week in the SEC. The Cajuns squeaked by Bama on a freak turnover latr in the 4^th quarter. Arkansas rolled up a Cocks team that can’t stop the run. The Gators decided to play defense and the rest of league dominated inferior competition. This week will likely decide who will be Champion of the SEC East unless UGA or UT loses to KY later this season. With the way things are going, I fully expect Miss State to kick Bama’s ass and LSU to beat La Tech with a 2pt conversion in overtime. Happy Birthday BDA, don’t kill yourself celebrating!

Malt Licker

Here comes the Malt Licker, fresh off the operating table and 4 teeth lighter. Hopefully the mixture of Ice Cream, Hydrocodone and Ice Packs will help me regain my early season picking form. Cuzzin’ Bailey had a sick week last week and now finds himself right back in the mix. If he picks like that again, I’ll let him finish off my painkillers.

Saturday, November 10, 2007

Alabama @ Mississippi State (+5), 12:30

CB

I think last week proved that Bama is pretty legit this year. While they did lose, they were so in that game and probably should have won. I am getting so sick of LSU and their fucking luck. It’s got to run out eventually. Anyways, Miss State embarrassed Kentucky two weeks ago and as was pointed out by another Bourbon Boy, they carried all that momentum into a bye week so something tells me they are gonna be about as cold as can be. Bama wants to take out last weeks frustration on somebody and the Dogs are the perfect target. Roll Tide

Bammer 35

Dogs 17

EGM

Satan totally blew that game against LSU. The fumble in the fourth quarter was totally inexcusable. Its fairly obvious that JPW has not sold his soul to Satan because that turnover would not have been made sans soul. Miss State is an enigma wrapped in a riddle that is trying to become bowl eligible. I really can’t believe I typed that. If you have seen the Bulldogs play, then you know why. Miss State has one of the worst passing offenses outside of Fayetteville yet they have managed to hammer some patsy opponents and beat up on two decent teams (KY & Awbarn). I expect Satan to unleash his fury on Miss State and JPW will likely sell his soul finally…to cover those five big ones.

Mephistopheles 28

Black Coach Not in a Bowl Yet 13

ML

The Tide took one on the chin as John Parker Wilson did his best Freddie Kitchens impersonation, with that bum-fuck fumble in the Fourth Quarter. Seriously, what was he thinking holding that ball out like he’s Kestahn Moore. Ol’ Sly seems to be making some strides in Starkville. I really see MSU being a lot like Ole Miss when Cutcliffe was there. Some schools just need to be happy with a guy that can keep them competitive and around .500, with an occasionally 8 or 9 win season thrown in for good measure. I mean seriously, MSU is in Starkville. It’s a place people can’t wait to leave, not a place they want to go. MSU has one of the best pass defenses in the country, and Alabama only has a mediocre running offense. I’m tempted to lay the points, because this is a revenge game for Bama, but I think the Cowbells cover

JP Kitchens 20

Just can’t throw 17

Arkansas @ Tennessee (Pk), 12:30

CB

Man, watching the Razorbacks last week was frightening. I mean sure they only passed for a hundo, but I mean jeez they ran for almost 6!!! It was really a treat watching McFadden and Jones go crazy, and hopefully they broke the confidence of the Gamecocks for this weekend against the Gators. I think the Vols defense is better than South Carolina’s and that being the case they should be able to handle the Hogs running attack, however it would take a series of Tebow-resistant concrete walls to stop the two-headed Arkansas machine. I like the Razorbacks, mostly because I really need them to win for the Gators chance at Atlanta.

Ark 33

Tenn 30

EGM

I really don’t know what to expect from this matchup and apparently Vegas doesn’t either. Both coaches are fighting for their jobs and Fulmer will definitely be fired if he blows their chance at winning the SEC East. I guess Nutt isn’t really fighting for his job but rather auditioning for the Nebraska job. I must say, I will miss him, and like Malt Licker, I hope he runs for Prez. If France hated GWB, they will really hate Nutt. As for the game, both teams are pretty decent against the run but absolutely terrible against the pass. The Hawgs can’t pass but the Vols can. So why am I picking Arkansas at Knoxville? Two reasons: Darren McFadden and Felix Jones.

Mr. Ahmajinad, I will nuke you 24

Another fat man on Careerbuilder.com 21

ML

Man, this is a big game for Gator ramifications. The Nutter is making a late season push to keep his job, and the Great Pumpkin has won two in a row after a late season tune-up at home. Arkansas’ run game averages over 6 yards a carry, and the Vols can’t stop anyone, either through the air or the ground. The early start and the twin horses of McFadden and Jones will help the Nuts win a shootout at Neyland.

Runnin’ Hog Wild 38

No ground defense for the Vol Navy 34

Kentucky @ Vanderbilt (+3.5), 2

CB

Zzzz, huh? What? My bad, I just realized I don’t give a shit about this game in any capacity. Kentucky really needed the bye week, that MSU didn’t need, after losing 3 out of 4 in some really tough games. Vandy didn’t have the luxury of a week off even though they certainly played like it was one. The Gators have played and destroyed both of these teams so I feel I should have some ability to call this game, and so if the Cats play anywhere like they have played most of the season they should win this game hands down. The Commodores’ Earl Bennett may be the “best receiver in SEC history” but he played like junk last week, I hope it’s a trend. Oh yea, nice loss for the UK basketball team on Wednesday night HAHA!

Kensucky 31

Vande´ 20

EGM

Vandy looked like a pile of steaming hippo shit last week. I’d love to praise the Gators defense for that win (and they did look good) but the Doremats looked terrible on defense and pretty lethargic on offense. Seriously, what the fuck happened to Chris Nickson? Vandy picked the wrong time to play shitty defense. KY will use their sorry secondary and blow the doors off that line. Woodson may throw for 500.

Pissing in the library 38

Crying in the library 24

ML

Man…talk about a free fall. UK lost 2 out of 3 at home and needed this bye to re-calibrate their expectations. They still have an outside chance at the SEC East title and need this W over Vandy. At least their loss to MSU was overshadowed by the hoops team losing to Gardner Webb at Rupp Arena. How does that happen? Vandy was smoked by the Gators, and their QBs looked like shit. A week off and Andre Woodson spell an easy cover for the Cats.

Ken-sucky again? 28

Not against Vandy 17

Auburn @ Georgia (-2), 3:30

CB

Someone once told me that, for most teams, playing at home in this league is an automatic 3 points in your favor before the spread is announced. That being said, with UGA only giving 2 points it shows that Auburn is the better team. We already saw earlier in the year that the Dawgs don’t necessarily play THAT much better at home with the Gamecock loss, and that Auburn isn’t intimidated even by the best crowd in the country. I like the Tigers here, they’ve been playing tougher ever since those two (what now look like “anomaly”) losses early on and I am certainly not convinced that Jawga can stop anyone’s offense.

Awburn 22

Daggs 21

EGM

The oldest rivalry in the South…allegedly. Both teams feature smoking hot women and guys who love Eddie Bauer Explorers with kayaks on top. They also feature similar styles of offense where they love to run the ball first to set up the play action pass. Auburn’s defense is for real while UGA’s is sketch. However, the Dawgs have the better offense and the hottest player in the SEC, Knowshon “Mr Magic” Moreno. Auburn lost a heartbreaker against LSU earlier this season, they will get their mojo back with a big win over the Dawgs. BranDONE Cox will somehow get it done despite having a small skill set and a penchant for lying in the fetal position.

We hate magic…and bars 24

Three way tie? 20

ML

The oldest rivalry in the south….whooooooooooo…..where phoney SEC class reaches its apex. Both these teams offenses are equally ranked, and both ESPN.com and CBS Sportsline absolutely refuse to show Team defensive statistics. Man…that would really put out some fucking douchebag programmer. The key to this game is stopping Knowshon. I think Auburn can, and as long as Brandon Cox doesn’t revert to his September form, they will.

Run-stopping Plainsmen 21

Know-shon needs help 17

Florida @ South Carolina (+6.5), 7:45

CB

This game would be very important if just the outcome was at stake. A loss for the Gators would be our 4^th of the year, and that would make for a very depressing year. But if everything goes as planned during the day, a loss at night would be devastating. However, I’m gonna try and think positive. First of all, USC has to be reeling after, A) losing at home to Vandy who sucks; B) losing in heart-breaking fashion at UT; and 3) being completely humiliated in Arkansas. The Gators are coming off a much needed trouncing of the ‘Dores that was made responsible by a strong defensive showing, the likes of which we haven’t seen since circa week 3. I’m further not convinced that the Gamecock defense is up to the challenge of stopping the Gator offense, which btw is red-hot, so if this game somehow is a bit higher scoring on both ends, I like UF’s chances. However, it appears the Gator D has turned a corner and is ready to bury another sub par opponent. Hold onto your cocks.

FLORIDA 37

USCocks 14

EGM

Did Steve Spurrier ever coach for the Gators? According to Cuzzin’ Bailey he did not, but after reading the web all week, it’s a wonder they don’t postpone this game in order to talk it up some more. Here’s the deal, Spur-Dog is awesome, Click-Clack and all that shit but he’s the enemy on Saturday and his team has a glaring weakness. They can’t stop the run. I have to believe Urbo will exploit that. On the flip side, the Gators can’t stop the pass or the run for that matter, so I expect Spur-Dog to exploit that until Charlie Strong/Greg Mattison start blitzing Joe Lee Dunn Style. Ol’ Chris Smelley and/or Blake Mitchell won’t handle the pressure leading to an easy win (the sooner the blitzing, the sooner the lead starts).

Major Wright 31

Captain Munnerlyn 21

ML

This is the game which will determine whether or not UF can begin putting Spurrier behind them. We lost in year 1, needed a miracle in Year 2, and find the Cocks ailing after three consecutive losses. This is a MUST WIN for Urban & Co. The sooner we can string together convincing victories over the OBC, the sooner we stop talking about this. The next time I want Spurrier to be a headline is when we name the field after him in about 6 years. I’d be more worried about this game, but it looks like we’ve finally figured out it’s a good idea to get the ball to Percy 20 times a game. Bubba is back, and Kyle Jackson may be put on the bench.

Major, heal thy thumb 35

Check out Group Therapy 20

Louisiana Tech @ LSU (-36), 8

CB

Big time game for a big time team. You can’t spell lucky without L S U. Well I suppose technically you can, but you get my point. They won’t need any bullshit voodoo this weekend to come out with a win, but I just doubt they are gonna go up 36 after another squeaker. Time to let the backups fuck around for a little bit.

La Tech 10

LSU 40

EGM

The Lady Techsters are in deep shit. The 36 will likely be covered in the first half.

We love girls basketball! 3

Kings of the Pelican State 56

ML

Is it me or is LSU a more talented version of the 1998 Vols? Serendipity seems to follow these Cajuns and their white-cap cladded coach. Early Doucet made some huge plays in the 2^nd half, and Matt Flynn came clutch once again. Serendipity can take a vacation this week. La Tech’s coach is a former LSU assistant, and LSU struggled to cover a big spread against their last state “rival,” so I will take the points

Techsters 10

Relaxing Cajuns 40

Ole Miss – OFF

CB

They could have used this bye week to re-group about 8 weeks ago.

EGM

Chances of going winless in the SEC – better than average.

ML

Well earned rest after the hard fought victory over Northwestern State….

Non-SEC GOTW Suggestions

USC @ California (+4), 8

CB

USC-west’s season hasn’t exactly gone according to plans either this year, and Cal, which like everybody else controlled their own destiny in the 2 slot in the polls, had a serious “season-ending” skid throughout the month of October. I wasn’t totally convinced that the Golden Bears being 4 point home underdogs was warranted at first. But the more I have been reading, the more I realize that losing to THE team that lost to Notre Dame this year is unforgivable. I like the Trojans in this game (even though its pretty clear the players don’t use ‘em), and I like a lot more than 4 lousy points.

USC 30

CAL 20

EGM

The Non-SEC GOTW has been loaded with Pac Ten matchups of late. Cuzzin’ Bailey just can’t handle it. It just takes too much time to check out what’s going on out West. Cal is wounded and USC is starting to get healthy. That spells bad things for the Golden Bears. I wonder how many times the camera will cut to that shiteating hippie in the tree. Get over it dude, you go to a pinko school but they still want to cut down a tree every now and then. You’ll get over it, just smoke your brains out for a couple weeks and jam out to the Phish box set. Meanwhile, the Trojans will be back in LA with an easy cover.

Like LA, man 31

Like Berkeley, man 17

ML

What a difference a month makes. Both these teams were in the top 3 and this was circled as “THE GAME” of the year. Now they both look like mediocre teams. The only thing that interests me about this game is whether or not those hippies that live in the trees get killed. Personally, I’m rooting for death.

Condoms you buy in a gas station coin machine 20

Hippies 14