Cuzzin Bailey
The Gators have clinched the East and there is still so much to do. They can’t look past the Gamecocks this weekend, they can look past Citadel, and then they have to concentrate on Free Shoes University. THEN they play Bama in Hot-lanta, THEN play for the National Championship! Oh wait, I just got a memo from Urban, “no more talk about the future, just focus on the next week’s opponent.” Riiiiiight. That’s fine and good for the players, but the absurdly aware fan is always looking at the big picture. Gators giving 21 points this weekend, speaking of absurd. Hold on…I just had another vision. Another big win? Wait for it, damn that was the TV, the CMAs, ah Carrie Underwood. Anyways, the BCS has a big opportunity to get bailed out again this year damnit. Oh well, if UF makes it to the championship game, it’ll be hard to complain.
Malt Licker
Pretty bluke-ish (bogus and fluke) slate of games this week. Auburn/UGA can’t even garner the ESPN night game. When was the last time the 3 Dave’s did that game? This week is so…weak…that ESPN Gameday is covering the Hampton FAMU game. Will Barack be there?
El Gran Mono
Suddenly, all is right in college football. It stands to be the Big 12 winner versus the SEC winner in the only meaningful bowl game. Nothing could screw that up, except for actually playing the remainder of the schedule. I really hate the BCS, so I’m hoping only the winner of the SEC makes it and there is a huge controversy.
Georgia at Auburn (+8.5), 12:30
CB
The oldest rivalry in the South! Well that’s it here’s my pick. Just kidding of course. Aubs has 5 losses, and played Tennessee-Martin close last weekend. Hell even if it was regular Tennessee that score would be inexcusable this year. Tuberville is probably on the pseudo hot seat, with Bobby Lowder looking for a light. They say that Auburn just doesn’t have the “talent” this year; that would make for at least 3 decent (2 good) teams in the SEC that don’t have it this year personnel-wise, and that is ridiculous. I mean don’t get me wrong, I’m glad when these shitty Tigers are playing like shit, but they are representing the SEC so sometimes its embarrassing. You know like that drunk of a cousin you have…sure he’s a dick and you hate him, but he’s still family. Huh? So UGA just snuck out of Lexington with a W last Saturday. Embarrassing. Of course the Dawgs will win this week, but with everyone else knowing their season is over, if they do, this could be closer than it should be.
UGAly 34
Aubie Sucks 23
ML
Outback bound 20
At least you get a head start recruiting! 13
EGM
Dawgs 24
Plainsmen 17
Louisiana-Monroe at Ole Miss (-20.5), 2
EGM
Will Ole Miss become bowl eligible? Will Houston Nutt get some respect? What is the percentage of "southern hair" in the 18-55 bracket in the greater Oxford area? What's wrong with folding your cash? These are the questions that haunt me.
LaMo 10
Rebs 41
CB
MON-roe 10
Ole Miss 39
ML
Warhawk SEC tour stop #3 13
Rebs 30
South Carolina at Florida (-21), 3:30
ML
I just watched it again, the clip of clips…Jarvis Moss’ right paw that saved a season. It’s that time of year again, and SpurDog says he has his best team thus far in Columbia. To say I was anything other than terrified would be an understatement. However, the Gators can accomplish all things through Tebow, who strengthens them. (Lick. 4:16) I know I am probably going to hell for that, but it is the truth. With that said, 3 TD’s is way too much to lay to the Cocks.
Captain Munnerlyn’s 14 (inches)
The March Continues 33
CB
Cocks 16
GATORS! 38
EGM
Cocks 10
Gators 38
Mississippi State at Alabama (-20.5), 7:45
EGM
Croom is going for three in a row versus his alma mater. Nick Saban cannot allow that to happen. A perfect start to the season has brought back "Bama guy". You know that guy, the one who loved Mike DuBose before hating him. The guy who wears the Johnny Musso shirt to the game. The guy with, ugh, the houndstooth polo shirt. Well, I'm sure that guy will be pissed when the Tide don't cover per usual.
Croom 7
Bamer 17
CB
Dirty 13
Bammer 35
ML
Croom 6
Croom’s alma mater 24
Vanderbilt at Kentucky (-4), 8
EGM
KY is bowl eligible and Vandy is not. Maybe the Cats will just be nice and let the Dores get the final win. However, I doubt that will happen. I also doubt Chris Nickson will start because Mac Adams is so good. I predict Vandy will lose every game that Adams starts, including this one.
Dores 10
KY 17
CB
Vandie 21
Kensucky 23
ML
Losing Streak of…. 5
Kitties 24
Troy at LSU (-18), 8
CB
Let me tell you about a statistic that, if you haven’t heard it yet, will make the hair on the back of your neck stand up. The LSU QB has thrown 6 interceptions that were returned FOR TDs THIS YEAR!!! I just read an article about this other day where he was referred to as the “Benedict Arnold, or the Hanoi Jane” of the team. I love that analogy. He is the guy that is ratting out his players to the NVA. They trust him with secret notes to bring back to the US (the Ball) and he hands it over the Vietcong (the opposing team)…wait a second, one of those was for the Gators, this similarity has gone awry. HAHA, Jarrett Lee, a traitor. That’s funny. This game is freaking ridiculous, about as shitty as playing the Citadel next we….you know what? I praise LSU for having the guts to schedule a team of this caliber this late in the season. It takes balls. Yea AMERICA!
Treaux-jans 17
Tigres 33
ML
Treauxjans 13
Coonasses 34
EGM
Trojans 10
Cajuns 35
Tennessee – OFF
CB
Fulmer has embarrassed us all. Losing to Wyoming??? That sort of behavior is unacceptable in Knoxville. That is not the way that Volunteer football should be played. And I’m a GATOR FAN. I don’t even care if UT ever gets back on their feet, but now I know what the AD up there must have felt. If I’m even getting worked about this, then I can’t imagine how someone who actually WANTS them to succeed must feel. I guess now Phil can eat as many McRibwiches he wants! Ah retirement.
Arkansas – OFF
ML
I cannot think of anything to say about the Razorbacks. I like John Pelphrey and think he will be tough for teams in the West to deal with in hoops.
BC at FSU (-7), 8
ML
“Well, that’s America for you, isn’t it.” Was the quote from St. Bobby upon hearing about a massive brawl in the “student” union between his players and some douches from an F$U frat. You gotta love it. He gets such a pass from the media you’d think his middle name was Hussein. I wonder if he remembers his heartbreaking loss to the rambling wreck last week. Meanwhile, BC completely shut down Notre Dame last week, which means nothing. FSU will have some distractions, so they will not cover.
Flutie U 10
Con U 16
CB
BC 19
FSUcks 24
EGM
BC 14
FSU 28
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