Well another hurricane is bearing down on
El Gran Mono
I begin by apologizing to all of our faithful readers for my lateness in producing the Bourbon Boys. Good thing my two companions produce such quality material to make up for my assclownish behavior. Another summary Bourbon Boys from yours truly…
Well I’ll be honest with you, this isn’t the most inspired I have ever been. Two losses and one to a jackass team that turned the ball over 5 times. How does that happen? LSU is a damn joke. Any decent team with a grasp of their offense would have no trouble beating them. Here I was just a few weeks ago ripping on Danny Ainge’s moron nephew for his loserific performance, and I now I have no room to talk. For the record I am not bailing on my team or even on Urban by any stretch of the imagination. I am merely stating that I have zero faith in them winning in two weeks against f-ing
I don’t get why all these clowns are predicting a huge upset for the Hawgs. Well Whoopy-Whoop, they are 6th in the nation in rushing!!!! You would be too if you had an idiot playing QB, oh wait, the gators have an idiot playing QB and we aren’t 6th in the nation. Jawja had a snoozer against Vandy. Will the Shocker bust this Nutt? Most definitely.
Houston Nutt is flaming out like Wes Clark 10
The perfect crease in the khakis = Victory 35
I was planning on talking about how if UGA loses 2 of its remaining 4 SEC games, and the Gators hand them one of the Ls, then UF would probably go to the SEC Champ. Game, but then I realized I was fucking dreaming …
Where’d that kid with no thumbs go? 10
Put the bong down Billy-Bob…. 45
The two colleges east not named USC that are most loaded with the most hot blondes meet in a classic showdown. Unfortunately, said hot blondes are probably of comparable football talent of the players that will be on the field in
Magnolia Blondes 31
This game is terrible but at least Ole Miss plays defense.
Wish we still had Hal Mumme 9
Wish we still had David Cutcliffe 21
Ole Miss is probably feeling as shitty about last weekend as I do. They were playing with probably the second best team in the conference all the way to the end and then the Gods of those who hate Billy decided that was enough and allowed Bama to win the game after another one of their decent receivers went down. Kentucky, while having hot girls, really isn’t playing to the expectations of the fans ... wait, I’m sorry I was thinking about basketball … I feel like a real Wildcat fan … win or lose, both teams will wake up the next day realizing that they are having shitty seasons and you know what, they probably wont give a shit…so neither do I.
How does Ole Miss’ starting five look? 17
I can’t see, my southern hair is getting in the way 20
Is this MSU’s homecoming matchup? I guess
Where’s David Klingler? 20
Andre Ware was black…just like Sly Croom 27
Another solid non-conference opponent for the Dawgs. However, unlike Tulane,
Cougars, bitch! 28
Maybe we should castrate a pig? 17
This is pathetic…I can’t believe
Whats wrong with jorts? 27
Dreams Shattered 12
After watching Bama almost lose to Ole Piss last week I realized two things. Bama is not that good on offense and UF is not that good period. Prothro was all that Bama had going for it. UT may have gotten rolled by
Gerald Riggs & Co 22
Enjoy that crow Bama fan 13
Fatass Phil Fulmer has to travel to the land of Bama-style luck. The Crimzin Tide, coming off yet another game that proves they have sold their souls to the devil, will be looking to make Phatty pay for selling them out to the NCAA. If I was hearing this correctly, it seems that Fulmer has been avoiding the state of Aler-bamer for sometime in fear of being served to testify in a lawsuit … I guess this will take care of that…This game really has no bearing on anything for me…If ramma jamma wins, then it’ll really help their chances of appearing in the SEC championship game…if Tennessee wins, well pretty much that means nothing … they already have 2 SEC losses and that means they would need UGA to completely implode and lose 3 games and hope the Gators aren’t one of those losses…I think UT has pretty much cashed in their season (as they should) and most likely Bamer’s defense will make Rick Clowson look as confused as his barber…
What am I supposed to cut here kid? 17
Cut Prothro’s Life Support, they wont need to wake him 23
Who the fuck cares?
Vandy just doesn’t have what it takes to take out the Spurdog.
Cutler looks like 3rd team SEC these days 18
Cockwalking all over your steamboat 41
SPUUUUUUUUUR-DAWWG, you gearing up for SEC win numero dos?? I hope this is one of those games that Vandy actually decides to show up for. (Sorry for ending that sentence with a preposition). Anyways, Vandie probably feels like someone walked over their grave(s) after losing 3 straight games and basically being exposed for the frauds they are. Carolina had a bye week to get over trouncing the Mildcats two weeks ago, so I’ll bet they’ll be fired up to try it again….
Get off my GRAVE! 16
Aerial Cocks 27
I hope the Bayou Bengals aren’t too excited over their turnover-laden victory over the anemic Gators. The UF Defense really let us down. I mean, do they expect our offense to score if they can’t get turnovers inside the opposing teams 5 yard line? Seriously, you expect Chris to be able to lead a scoring drive where we need to get a first down? This is another one of those games where teams should play for the rights to the mascot. However, there wouldn’t be as much at stake for
Cajun Crawdad Chugging Scumbags 14
This is a tough game to pick. The Plainsmen have been kicking ass against the dregs of the NCAA and LSU has been playing some serious teams. However, LSU is not as good at home as everyone thinks and JarJar is a turnover machine. Those two factors will allow a less talented, temperance obsessing Plainsmen team to come out of the shithole otherwise known as Red Stick with a victory.
Already lost to one cracktastic QB 22
Unfortunately our QB is even more cracktastic 13
This game may, in fact, be a cool game to watch, lord knows its important. The Race for the West is still very, very close…. With both of these teams playing Bamer at or near the end of the season, what happens on Sunday will most likely dictate which team will actually be playing the Tide for a chance to go to Hot-lanta….Now I don’t want to go out on too far of a limb here, but I would be willing to bet my life that the Tigers are going to win…(I know I have used that joke for three years, but does it really get old?). Man I hope this is a night game… that would be so pimp tight…While I can’t believe that we lost to those 5 turnover assholes last week, I have a feeling that if LSU is fired up enough, and if Auburn plays as shitty as they can, the Cajuns just might have a better than average chance….but still, I can’t believe that Tommey Tubberville’s offense is as cracktastic as the Gators’ right now….I predict some heavy wagering by the River Boat Gambler this weekend, after all, this could be their season on the line…
Double Down 23
We gonna drink until we blind, I guurrannteee 21
I have a weird power, after the Bucs started 4-1 despite the pathetic play of Brian Griese, I opined that an injury wouldn’t be such a bad thing. First half of next game, done for the season with torn up knee. Do I dare wish for such misfortune for the gutless moron under center for the Gators? Or for our offensive coordinator to come up with some real plays? Nah, that would be out of line, wouldn’t it?
I bet Meyer has the entire offensive staff looking in the bottom of cereal boxes for a new offense that resembles his own.
So I’m going camping this weekend….I will be searching for the Gators offense….I hope its not like Bigfoot, and that all it is, is some fat old guy dressed up in a gorilla suit….what the fuck am I talking about?
FSU at Duke
A nice cure for the loss to the wahoos, as Bobby’s convicts take on the pussies from Puke. I would like to see the Devils invite Coach K to stand on the sideline and then see Leon Washington barrel into him after a run out of bounds. Dare to dream.
Duke sucks and so does Drew Weatherford. When FSU fans get a look at Xavier Lee in this game they will realize where their future could be if Bobby Bowden and his idiotic son weren’t complete morons.
Not so cavalier anymore 49
PUUUUUUUUKE!!!! That is awesome … I wonder if their big cheer is just a loud disgusting retching sound… that would be great! This is certainly one of those games that the Noles need after getting brutalized in Charlottesville last weekend…gosh I wish I had watched that game .. I would love to have seen Bobby Bowden giving one of those lost geriatric looks like he did after Wide Right II. “Hey, what just happened?! Have you seen my soup?” “Don’t worry Bobby, we’ll get you another soup,” says the orderly, but we all know it’s really the same soup ... just in a different bowl, poor old guy. Wow…that was bizarre…anyways, this game is garbage…
Pullin’ a Harry Carey 60
Georgia Tech at
Wow, the first real game for the canes since FSU and it is derailed by Wilma. I can’t wait to see 20,000 attend this game when it is scheduled for December 14th.
It would be too easy to describe a situation with prostitutes, cocaine, sedatives, Olde English 800 and Donna Shalala making excuses for this type of behavior. Wait a second, just watch the 11 o’clock news…
Since Jawga Teck is in the ghetto, they probably won’t get all “country mouse” when they get to Miami and see the cocaine scene…I mean I guess being surrounded by crack rock all day will probably desensitize you to that sort of thing…I hate Atlanta, but oh would I love to see the Hornets .. no wait, the Yellow Jackets “fly” down … BLIMEY .. The game’s been fucking postponed … WHEN WILL THESE F-ING HURRICANES GIVE US A BREAK … I blame Bush… I’m sure it’s his fault …those bastardly Republicans … they’re always up to no good!
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Standings W L %
Cuzzin Bailey 48 12 80
El Gran Mono 47 13 78
Malt Licker 46 14 77