Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Bourbon Boys Pick the SEC Week IX

Cuzzin’ Bailey
Well as many of you know, I was in Alabama last weekend attending a Non-Gator SEC game, and I was treated to a pretty good one. Ole Miss tried to pull the same “come from behind” crap that they did to the Gators, but to no avail. Driving to put the Rebs on top late in the game, Ole Miss came out of a timeout facing 4th and 5. The QB Snead slung the ball 15 yards passed the line to an open area of the field, where the ball fell to the ground motionless, idle, along with the Rebels hopes. Real fucking great play. The Tide survived a scare, showed they are probably as vulnerable as Florida, but are still undefeated. My friends, if the Gators keep playing they way they know how and Bama’s D keeps keeping them in games, we may be looking at a repeat of the most common matchup in SEC Championship history! Oh yea, this is hardly second banana, but The RAYS ARE IN THE WORLD SERIES! Hopefully as you read this, I will have attended Game 1 and we will be up 1 to none!

El Gran Mono
Well, I’d love to tell you that I had a restful week off while the Gators were gearing up for the stretch run; however, that would be a boldface lie. I’ve got Rays fever and even for the biggest of SEC football fans, its managed to take over my life. Oh yeah, I’m writing this just thinking about a frosty cold beverage at Fergs before Game 2. I guess we’ll talk some football. Our thoughts and prayers are with ML this week.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Auburn at West Virginia (-3.5), 7:30
EGM
This is a strange matchup late in the season. Both teams have underachieved but the Mountaineers have done so in the terrible Big East (the ACC and Big Ten are not far behind). Pat White will never be a passer despite half the media claiming that he’s great when he’s not “hurt.” Auburn could actually use someone like Pat White because then they would just abandon the passing game in favor of their much stronger running game. Tubs would love it too because he’s always in favor of runnin’ and big D.

I really see Auburn as being the more talented team but playing in Morgantown on Thursday night smells like the classic trap game. The line might be trap bait too. WVA sucks, I just can’t pick them. I doubt they get more than a field goal on the board against the Plainsmen’ stud D.

Off the Plain 13
In the Mountains 0

CB
Aw-Barn 17
Mountain Hicks 20

ML
Auburn 21
WVU 14

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Kentucky at Florida (-25), 12:30
CB
Kensucky 14
GATORS! 35

EGM
KY 6
Gatorzzzz 31

ML
UK 10
UF 31

Duke at Vanderbilt (-9.5), 3
EGM
Battle of two teams likely to make bowls. Quite the unlikely situation, but when you think about it they both have great coaching and that goes a long way. Bobby Johnson is a favorite at numerous other schools but he might just choose to stay at Vandy for the long term. Cutcliffe will be great no matter where he’s at. I’d love to talk more about the game but it basically boils down to this. Vandy can play defense with the big boys and Duke can’t. Prediction: Cutcliffe will be the next coach of UT, next year.

CB
Puke 13
Vandy 26

ML
Duke 13
Vandy 31

Georgia at LSU (-2.5), 3:30
CB
The UF game is always near and dear to my heart, but I think this is the game of the week. (Shouldn’t be much of a shock there) Two highly ranked BCS teams playing in Death Valley. As a fan of the Gators this one is kind of a toss up in the sense of who I would like to win. We play them both so I guess it doesn’t matter, but if LSU wins it will help prove our rise from the ashes after the dismal loss we suffered in late Sept. LSU supposedly has a good D that let the shitbox Gamecocks drop 17 in the first half, and Knowshon Moreno is a superstar Running back for the Dawgs. The eauxnly thing that bothers me is whether or not UGA will get rattled early in this one with the atmosphere. Look for Mark “the prick” Richt to psych up his team by licking a Bulldogs balls (I think he may have mixed up Jackie Sherrill’s motivation technique), or some other gay ass gimmick, but this time it will work! Kneauxshon comes up big in this one. Yellow Shirt, Purple Britches, Go to Hell You Sons a Bitches!

UGA 24
LSU 23

EGM
Dawgs 17
Cajuns 21

ML
UGA 24
LSU 20

Ole Miss at Arkansas (+5), 7
CB
Nutt returns to the sack with a team that may not have a great record, but can certainly play hard for 60. Not sure if the Ole Miss players can survive all season with 1 quality win and a pocket full of moral victories. Getting off subject a bit (surprise, surprise), I was watching the Houston Nutt show the other day and I noticed two things: 1) I could actually understand him as opposed to Coach O; and 2) He actually blamed Snead for making (or not making) a few bonehead throws. Is that something you say on TV? Who knows. Is he a pedophile looking piece of shit that the Malt Licker and El Gran Mono want to double team? Yes. Last weekend, the best play he called was a fake field goal that was actually a thing of beauty. This week, he may not need to reach into his sack (pun intended) of tricks to beat this mediocre team.

Rebs 34
Backs 20

EGM
Rebs 24
Hawgs 17

ML
Ole Miss 31
Arkansas 21

Middle Tennessee State at Mississippi State (-11.5), 7
CB
MTSU (who) 18
MSU (cares) 24

EGM
Blue Raidaz 13
Dawgs 28

ML
MTSU 23
Miss St 30

Alabama at Tennessee (+7), 7:45
EGM
After Bama had beaten Tennessee eight times in a row, they made shirts that said “Eight Vol, Corner pocket.” To this day, that’s the best trash talk shirt I’ve ever seen. “Fuck Auburn” printed in classy script is a close second. You are gonna think I’m crazy when I say this, but UT will win this game. Bama just doesn’t have what it takes on offense to keep on winning. JP Wilson might as well be talking to the receiver he’s throwing to on one of those tomato can string jobs before he throws it. Saban is clearly aware of this and wants to run the football. However, UT can stop the run and with Crapton no longer running the show, they aren’t turning the rock over at will. I like the Vols and it might just prevent David Cutcliffe from becoming their head coach for a year.

Bamer 10
Vols 13

CB
BAMA 21
VULS 13

ML
Bama 17
UT 9


South Carolina – OFF

Penn State at Ohio State (+2.5), 8
CB
The only reason I picked this game was to express my disdain for both of these schools. First let me start with OSU. They are ridiculously still high in the BCS rankings even though most of the civilized world (and parts of Iran) realize they are a fucking joke. If you thought it was funny watching them lose the last TWO National Championship Games in embarrassing fashion, then I think the BcS should go for the trifecta and prove how worthless the system is…Secondly, PSU. Let me tell you, I have been to almost every school in the SEC and have been around fans from all teams, and no where in the South is as Redneck, whitetrash and just all around chip-on-your-shoulder angry than those psychos in State College. I am fully expecting the same shit from the Phillies fans in St Pete Wednesday night. The presence of any of these types of fans is like anger incarnate. Broken bottles, broken noses, broken teeth, cussing worse than a sailor in a Singapore whorehouse, and that’s just the CHICKS! You hang out with Lions fans, remember one thing, a good supply of body bags…it could get ugly. In re: the game, who cares, if PSU wins they’ll pretty much stamp their ticket to the National Championship game to desecrate the city of Miami, if OSU wins I’m sure they’ll backdoor their way in and get trounced again. Personally I feel we should all prepare for (and celebrate) the destruction of South Florida starting Sunday.

PSU 34
OSU 28

EGM
Nittany Lions 13
Buckeyes 7

ML
Penn St 20
OSU 25

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