CB
Don’t I feel like a fool for predicting that the Gators would trounce Ole Miss last week! The game was not only atrocious, but seeing people passing out cause of the heat was something I haven’t seen in like years (sorry for the generic time frame, but my memory for viewing sunstroke isn’t what it used to be). Anyways, my weekend overall was tremendous, the tailgate was baller, and I got to meet Shane Matthews (thanks to a certain Ole Miss fan that was visiting me), but the Gators lost. On a bright note, UGA lost too. They didn’t just lose, they got killed! This of course makes me happy cause we’re like that girl in the beginning of the Devil’s Advocate… “(We) didn’t want to be the only one.”
EGM
Mr. Positive is through. I hate the spread. I hate five wide. I hate people that wear blazers or sundresses to games. I hate croakies. I hate communists. I hate people who talk on their Bluetooth. I hate the ACC and Big Ten. I hate the Red Sox. Most importantly, I hate anyone who doesn’t coequally hate these things.
ML
Ugggggh….what is the deal with the Magnolia State? UF has lost like 7 out of 10 against teams from this cesspool. I usually hate the typical liberal elitist take on states in the Deep South, but that excludes Mississippi. The state has brought me nothing but misery. I hated Mississippi Burning, The Ghosts of Mississippi, Mississippi Masala. I even hate the song Mississippi Queen. Anyway, I really hate the fact that I have to attend a seminar all day Saturday and Sunday. At least I know I won’t have to watch Mullen’s 5-wide set.
Florida at Arkansas (+24.5), 12:30
CB
This is the test to see if I have learned anything from last week. Sure Ole Miss is probably 10 times better than Pseduo-Kansas, but this is still the SEC West. After all these years of playing these RRSWGs (Random Road SEC West Games), I have learned two things, 1. Every school in that division hates UF with more fury than a gambl-holic in Vegas after the 10th time you’ve thrown the craps dice off the table, and 2. You can’t take one of these for granted. Hell, I was at the 2000 Miss St debacle. We were supposed to destroy the Bulldogs, but it turned into a shootout from the get go. And if it weren’t for: A) Gillespie’s “celebration” penalty at the beginning of the 3rd; B) Spurrier punting on a third down; C) our idiot Captains choosing defense after MSU deferred when they won the coin toss; and D) Dicenzo Miller and Dante Walker rushing for two bills each, we might have prevailed. But that’s the way shit works in the WEST. The 2004 redux single handedly ended Zook’s fabulous career at Florida (I suppose in that case we should thank the West). Anyways, here it’s the same old shit, nothing to fear, we might as well send out scout team. I swear if we don’t jump on this team early we are going to regret it. I believe Timmy T when he says that he is going to play as hard as anyone and it appears they are going to strap the ball to Harvin’s back and let him carry us to victory this weekend, so while I’m going to pick against the spread, I know it in my heart that we are going to win this week! GO GATORS!
UF 38
Noah’s Ark-ade 17
EGM
Gators 38
Hawgs 10
ML
Until you prove you can score 40, I wont pick you to cover 31
Hog Soup 10
South Carolina at Ole Miss (-2.5), 2
EGM
Ol’ Houston Nutt came up with a huge win on Saturday. But I’m sure it was worth kicking him out of Arkansas because Mitch Mustain didn’t get to toss it around enough. If anything I’m sure it will expedite their ass to the Big 10. I wonder if Bobby Petrino will stick around for that?
South Carolina is just terrible along the lines of scrimmage and Ole Miss will definitely exploit that. The Rebs specialize in fat ass linemen that clog shit up. Spurrier dominated the West for his first few years in the league but has faded off lately, along with his talent level. Ole Miss will stay in the big zone they played last week and force horrendous Mike Davis to beat them. I like their chances…by more than 2.5.
Cocks 14
Rebs 24
CB
USC 17
Ole Miss 23
ML
Cocks like being underdogs 22
Ole Letdown 20
Kentucky at Alabama (-16.5), 3:30
CB
Bama was seriously impressive again last weekend. Another Mark Richt gimmick and this time his players weren’t impressed by the theatrics. A note to UK, once the Tide get “rolling” (pardon the pun) they are tough to stop. JP Wilson and Julio Jones are very talented and if they (as well as the Bama D) are hot this could get ugly real quick. The Wildcats are out scoring their opponents 126 to 22, one little problem, they are all out of gimme games. It’s all SEC from here on out and if they don’t live up to their BS game billing, they could be in for a long season. I’ll take Bama at home, AND the points…
UK 17
UA 35
EGM
Cover Cats 14
Bamer 21
ML
Koverin’ Kats 20
Tiiiiiiiiiide 31
Auburn at Vanderbilt (+4), 6
EGM
Game of the week? Who woulda thought?
The Plainsmen got a gift from Jon Crapton last week in the form of a ridiculous fumble. Other than that, Auburn looked positively awful. Neither of their Qbs can do anything in the passing game and people have figured out their two running plays. Its time for Tubs to kick that idiot OC out of town and crush some Vandy scum. But, hold on one second, Vandy is not the same old Vandy. They play great defense and don’t turn the ball over. I gotta say though, four points? No chance.
Plainsmen 17
One loss Dores 14
CB
AW 26
VA 23
ML
Plainsmen 24
‘Dores 17
Northern Illinois at Tennessee (-15.5), 7
ML
Man, it is seriously panic time in Knoxville, luckily these Huskies suck. The Vols seem to have issues holding onto the ball inside the 10 yard line, whether their own or the opponents. They gave that game to Auburn and are 0-2 in the SEC and 1-3 overall. Surely that should be enough motivation to cover against Northern Illinois. I know nothing about the Huskies and don’t care enough to change that.
NIU 13
Vawwwlz 33
CB
NI 17
UT 30
EGM
Salukis 7
Vols 28
Georgia – OPEN
CB
Here’s one little problem with gimmicks, when they don’t work, and your team doesn’t get motivated enough to win, then what? I mean if you are relying on costumes and pageantry to get your team hyped (ala “Blackouts” and “Everyone run onto the field after you score a touchdown”), and one day you wake up and it doesn’t work, you may have to go back to regular COACHING!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOO! And another thing, “Mark Richt doesn’t seem like the intense no BS guy that Meyer is”, (so I’ve been told by my UGA and FSU friends), does that mean that I HAVE TO LIKE HIM?? Just cause he has that balding-guy-desperate-for-a-friend-smile look on his face doesn’t mean I would have a beer with him. Also, I’ve been told that Gator fans are “the worst” and “have no class,” I guess I’ll live up to the billing by saying, I hope Knowhon Moreno’s season is over. I really could give a shit what Bulldog fans (who bark and drool at games) think about me. Man I was really worked up…glad that’s over.
LSU – OPEN
ML
The Tigers struggled mightily against Croom-land last week, but have a week off to rest and prepare to take on our beloved Gators. The only issue they have to worry about is how many siblings will sleep together and whether or not they will run out of moonshine.
Mississippi State – OPEN
EGM
Is their a better place to spend a free weekend than Starkville? Port-Au-Prince or Lagos perhaps.
Florida State at Miami (-2), 3:30
ML
How times have changed. I remember when this was a must-see game of the year. ABC would flood the airwaves with advertising as a clash of the titans. Now…it’s a big yawn. You can guarantee it will be hard hitting game, but you can just as easily guarantee that the quarterback play will be terrible. F$U is feeling froggy after knocking off Colorado and the Canes are wounded after losing in Chapel Hill. Well the hundreds of fans harness this energy and bring a hostile attitude to Joe Robbie? You bet. Will there be more tricked up vehicles and scumbag haircuts in one 3 square radius anywhere else in the world tomorrow?
Nole$ 13
CoCanes 16
CB
FSU 13
MEE-AMI 12
EGM
Noles 13
Canes 16
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