Malt Licker
Well the Gators played like crap and were able to escape. I suppose that is good news, but I’d love to see our offense perform within the same galaxy as last years. I think this proves how important Percy and L Murph were to the squad. We have to find a way to open things up, or we will most assuredly have a hiccup along the way. The rest of the week’s slate is pretty uninspiring, with the most compelling game being Kiffie-kin’s first trip to Tuscaloosa.
El Gran Mono
There has been a lot of talk this week that SEC Refs suck (which is very true) so I think I’ll incorporate that into my takes a little more heavily. I’m finally at .500 despite the refs sucking and Cuz can hear me running behind him Steve Atwater style. Will he alligator arm it or catch it like a champ? Or will the refs blow it? I’m betting on door number one. I think I’ve finally got a handle on Vandy. I’m hoping the Gators have a handle on Starkville.
Cuzzin’ Bailey
Where to begin? Apparently UF didn’t deserve to win last week. I’m just paraphrasing every single “comment board” on ESPN (dot) com this week. I guess the only thing that would make those loser Arkansas fans (as well as every Gator Hater in the world) happy would be for Florida to concede this and voluntarily forfeit the game. Let me tell you, BAD CALLS HAPPEN! Ask UGA. Ask UF after the 2003 Florida State game. Shit happens. We (the fans of that team) stew about it for years and years to come, but guess what changes…Jack SHIT. Ah, glad I got that off my chest. Oh, btw, if UF didn’t get that personal foul call, it still would have been 2nd and 9 on the 20. It ain’t like we hadn’t been moving the ball ALL GAME. Barring another fumble and we’re looking at the same result. God I hate whiners. Unless their name is Cuzzin Bailey. Last thing, sorry my comments don’t reek with the professional prose of one Malt Licker. We should all bow to his superior intellect and humility HAHA…loser.
Arkansas at Ole Miss (-5.5), 12:30
ML
The Hawgs nearly ended the nation’s longest winning streak in the Swamp last week. Can they use the momentum from this moral victory and knock off their old coach? The only person in Oxford having a worse season than Jevan Snead is his barber. How does he get that look? With a ruler? Anyway, is it possible Ole Miss just isn’t that good? I’m giving my boy Houston one more chance.
Sooey 21
Toddy 31
EGM
Hawgs 21
Rebs 20
CB
Sore Losers 23
Oxford Comeback? 25
Tennessee at Alabama (-16.5), 3:30
ML
Mr. Kiffykins comes to town to face the other rival he ticked off during the offseason. Can he cover the spread again? If he does, it will have more to do with Daddy, who has two weeks to devise a scheme to stop Mark Ingram. If Crapton can keep the turnovers at 2, the Vols can make this interesting. I feel like Bama is due for a scare.
White shirted Vols 13
Crimson stained sheets 21
EGM
Monte keeps it close 13
Saban likes it close 17
CB
Probation in 2 years 10
Roll over Kiffin 27
Louisiana-Monroe at Kentucky (-15.5), 7
CB
Boy how lucky did I get? The only non-All-SEC game in the bunch. I presume that UK will be able to pull out the win here on the blue grass, but I’m curious how easily they’ll score 15 points total! I’m gonna run blind here cause I really don’t care about wasting anyone’s time with analysis. I’m sure LA-Mon has put up some great number against whatever teams they play, which explains this relatively small spread. Kentucky is coming off a huge win on the Plains against the scumbag Tigers. Speaking of that game, I love watching their fans look so dumbfounded when a team they deem inferior goes into Orburn and comes out with a W. Good times. Kats roll here, hey here’s some breaking news…one of Kensucky’s basketball recruit’s eligibility is ALREADY in question…gotta love Calipari, he sure doesn’t waste any time cheating…
MON-roe 14
Kant beat Kentucky’s Kats 30
ML
LaMo 13
UK 34
EGM
LaMo 10
KY 28
Vanderbilt at South Carolina (-12.5), 7
EGM
Ol’ Spurdog took one on the chops last week vs. Saban and his nasty defense. If only Stephen Garcia wouldn’t get rattled so easily they might have…hmmm…if only. The Cocks don’t have much of a running game and that could make this matchup quite interesting because Vandy has a great pass defense statistically. However, I think their great pass defense is only a result of their terrible rush defense. Spurdog does tend to force the issue with what he feels is “right” even if its not working. But with a week to prepare I would expect the “right” gameplan to incorporate a steady diet of running. That won’t be good for Vandy who really sucks on offense. Even the refs can’t help out with that.
Dores 3
Cocks 17
ML
Vanderdork 12
GameCocks 29
CB
Logically Terrible 9
We’ll Spit Dip in yer Eye 22
Florida at Mississippi State (+22), 7:30
CB
Hell yea. The Gators won last week, after turning the ball over 4 times, thrice in or around the redzone. But now that last week is over, its time to talk about a place I just started referring to as the “Twilight Zone for Gator Football”. Sure, it’s not a real supernatural place, like the Bermuda Triangle, but this is a “city” where UF forgets all it knows about football. A place where defensive captains elect to “kickoff” when the only real option is to “receive,” a place where there are more cowbells in one square mile than there are in the entire state of Texas, A PLACE where Mississippi State thrives when the Gators come to town. 1992, the last Thursday night game UF has played, Shane Matthews throws 5 interceptions in his home state. 2000, Spurrier elects to punt on 3rd down, the Miss Dogs have 2 150+ yard rushers, and my dad is drinking whisky and water from the melted ice in the cooler. 2004, without that loss, Zook would not have been fired, in retrospect I’m happy about that one. Regardless, of course we SHOULD win this Saturday, but the SEC SHOULD be regulating the illegal noise-maker policy in Starkville too, but that shit ain’t happening. Oh yea, aside from all the spookiness and superstition about Davis Wade Stadium at Scott Field, the Gators are facing their old offensive coordinator…he probably knows what to expect…but can they execute, that’s the question…I think its about time the Gators defense got over the LSU hangover and Janoris Jenkins remembered how to cover. This is the last time I’m gonna make a multi-interception call for our D. If it doesn’t happen this weekend I’m beginning a self-invoked moratorium on praise for our secondary…don’t let me down guys.
Road GATORS 40
Home (smelly) Dawgs 15
ML
More Gators 37
Less Cowbell 6
EGM
Demons Out 41
Turnover Machine 13
Auburn at LSU (-8), 7:30
EGM
This is traditionally one of my favorite games to watch. It always seems like the teams come out hitting extra hard and there is a lot of jawing. Former LSU QB Andrew “To Good for Harvard” Hatch got crushed so hard last year he couldn’t stand up and didn’t remember large portions of the game. Chris Todd is a much better player this year and certainly can’t play worse than last year. That said, the Plainsmen lost to KY last week…AT HOME. Not good. However, they do have one major thing in their favor and that’s Jordan Jefferson. He’s positively awful. Auburn will have absolutely no problem stopping him. The question then remains, will Gary Crowton and Les Miles adjust and run the wildcat or take Jefferson out of the game? I doubt it. Imagine losing TWICE at night in the same season. Yep, its gonna happen, just like every season in the 80’s. Oh yeah, the refs will suck.
Plainsmen 21
Cajuns 10
ML
Plainsmen 10
Coonasses 14
CB
Prissy Tigers 13
Disgusting Tigers 15
Georgia – OFF
ML
Coach Richt will enjoy this bye week by watching me bang his wife.
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